Epiphany

I'm really good at to-do lists, as you can tell. I really, really like to color code them, and I spend some time each Monday making lists for the week. My problem, as you can see, is follow through. Again, I refer you to the picture above. I have crossed off only a few items, and it's shameful.

I bring this up because I was walking by a student of mine this afternoon while he was working with a specialist in the afternoon. As I passed, the student was wrapping his teensy fingers around another child's throat. Instantly, both his teaching assistant and I responded.

"J, say you are sorry. Make sure you tell the other person what you are sorry for. Remember, sorry means you are going to try your best not to make that mistake anymore."

Later...

"J, you can make better choices than that. I know you are upset about your punishment, but you chose that by the way you acted."

I sound GREAT when I am dishing out redirection to my students. Harder, is taking my own advice. So, here you go.

I am sorry for not completing the things on my to do list in a timely manner. I will try harder to use my time more productively. I am sorry to myself for making choices that stress me out because of how much I have to do, or lead me to neglect the many important relationships in my life in favor of things that are silly.

My epiphany today was a pretty big one. If I treated myself the way I treat my students, I'd dole out some tough love that would inspire change. If I followed my own advice, I'd be able to focus and take my time to do things the right way because I wouldn't constantly be rushing. I'd be able to use my time in more meaningful ways, whether it be spending time with friends and family or crossing items off my to do list. I am going to try harder to be the kind of person who really follows through. Hopefully, this public declaration will help.

I guess I'm pretty smart after all.....

Slow Down

I read a lot of thought-provoking things today. It all started with my morning Google Reader browse whilst I walked to the train. Rebecca from The Book Lady's Blog about the bankruptcy of Borders, and thoughts on where this leaves the book industry as a whole. I also finished Fahrenheit 451- a book I had never experienced before, and also deals with the questions of literature's value in a technology-driven world.

When thinking about Borders, and books, I often end up thinking about my job. I love my students immensely, and when I think about myself at that age, what I remember most are books. I'm not sure I can say the same for my students. While I don't think they will grow into the kind of adults that shun fiction and non-fiction in favor of wall-sized tv. However, I will say that I have had to encourage reading stamina in my students in a way that I'm not sure people my age had to be coaxed into. With my kids at school, we've practiced, over and over and over, the art of finding a quiet place to read, and several ways to read a book. I've timed the whole class many times to see how long we could read for. At the same time, in my personal life, I find myself making less time for reading and more time for other things. I catch myself refreshing my facebook over and over again, just to see if anything is new. I find myself now, on my Thursday date night with myself, with the tv on in the background, and even blogging has been difficult for me to maintain focus on.

Now, more than ever before, we as a society are making decisions from a wide menu of options. Will we internet browse? Catch up on the DVR? Text friends? Speed off to the mall or to town to check out the latest options there? I know after reading Rebecca's blog today, as well as the news coverage, I started thinking about the choices I am making with my time and my money. As we advance in technology, it is getting easier to ignore the power of books and education to help us make informed decisions. NCLB has made teaching a numbers game looking for results FAST. We use technology to help us find answers and to entertain us and to connect us FAST. We support big businesses because it is FAST. However, the really important things take time. Building reading stamina. Losing yourself in a book to find the answers you are looking for. Maintaining relationships with people you love, and continuing to hold them close as time passes. Holding yourself accountable for your life decisions. All slow things.

I'd like to challenge myself (and you) to build some slow, thoughtful habits. I'm hoping to use the long weekend coming up to become a more thoughtful decision maker. I'd like to slowly build more stamina to use the technology I have in a more thoughtful way, to spend some time in a quiet house with a good book each day, and to really connect with my husband and the many other people I love. I'd like to start spending my money in ways that allow me to connect with and support businesses and causes that are meaningful. I feel that making these changes, in my own small way, will help me to feel more at ease with the directions I see things moving in my career and in society. Slow down everyone, you're moving too fast.

Travel Through Food

I have a bad case of the February itchies. You know the ones I'm talking about. As far as I'm concerned the only good things about February are birthdays of many people I love and the fact that it's a short month. That's it. Right now I'm hungering for travel to places I can't quite afford. I'm yearning for sundress season, and I consider it downright offensive that Target, that mecca that is usually my happy place, is showing bikinis and sundresses right when you walk in. What jerks. Recent uncertainties about work have made me reluctant to book a trip for spring break, so I've turned to other comforts.

Namely, food. What is it about food that instantly takes us to an exotic place? Take last weekend, for example. On Friday, Kev and I ordered from a new Indian/Chinese restaurant that just opened not too far from my home. I ordered my standard Palak Paneer, threw on my sweatpants, and feasted. You know what? It legitimately helped. For an evening I wasn't stuck in the cold, worried about my job, or antsy to get out of the city I mostly love. The break in routine helps.

The best part, though, was definitely this:

I mean, who doesn't love a smiley on top of free samosas?

Saturday Kev and I went to a fancy dinner at a phenomenal place in the loop: Weber Grill. I had never been there, and it was a place that is usually out of our random dinners out price range. We dressed up, we ate steak and seafood, and we got Thanksgiving dinner full. After, we went to the always fabulous Les Miserables and lost ourselves in France for the evening.


I think this weekend and the fabulous food we ate really helped me turn a corner in my February blahs. No, my problems are not solved by any means. Yes, I would still love to be somewhere fabulous and warm and exotic wearing a free flowing uniform of sundresses and flip flops. Sometimes, though all it takes is a break in the routine, culinary and otherwise, to remind you that there are bigger things out there than the petty shit that may be bringing you down. I am better than the way these last few months has made me feel. I am stronger than the drama that has been cluttering my life. I am a fabulous person who can bloom in any climate, and I will make it through this winter and find my invincible spring inside. I am more kick ass than February, that's for darn sure.

Now excuse me while I go spread my awesomeness.

Being Tough is Hard to Do

February is a tough month around these parts. As a teacher, you're kind of stuck. The kids are crazy from having to stay inside in the subzero temps. The administration is freaking out about ISAT, next year, and insane amounts of data that don't always make sense. To add insult to injury, Target (and all of my other favorite stores) have started rolling out my adored sundresses and flip flops, and I'm still imprisoned in sweats that Kev could fit in and hoodies that transport fatty snacks. It's not an attractive time.

Yesterday, my friend E and I were discussing ways to get out of these winter doldrums, and we decided we needed some projects. We decided to do two polar opposite things:

1) Learn to crochet so we can make baby blankets for other people's babies. (Babies seem to be everywhere in my life. I swear, every time I load up my Facebook I see a new fetus in my feed. What's up with THAT?)

2) Try some new physical stuff. So today, we cashed in a Groupon that we had both bought ages ago and headed to boxing.

Yes, boxing. I can't even believe I did it. Me, who spends so much time at the arthritis clinic that everyone there knows me as "the young kid with the really nice blood" went to boxing. I knew I was in trouble when a beautiful, perky blonde girl with the most perfect calf muscles I had ever seen greeted me at the door and made me sign not one, but TWO waivers. I nervously asked her if she had any tips for newcomers.

"Oh no! This is the best place in the entire world and Robbie is THE BEST. You'll be fiiiiiiiine." she chirped. Her perkiness made me re-assess the situation. Here are the things I saw:

1) BOYS. I have never, ever been to a workout class with boys in it before. Sure, there's been the occasional muscular karma type dude in my yoga classes, and I've had an occasional greyhound hiding in the back of my spin class, but these were real BOYS. The kind who wrestle and drink beer and wear cutoff t-shirts and grunt while they do their knuckle pushups. They were warming up on bags right near mine. Yikes.

2) An Australian hyper man in red satin shorts swinging like an orangutang from the rafters our body bags were swinging from. Literally. Swinging. From. The. Rafters. Clearly, he had not been chasing kindergarteners around all day.

3) My terrified and crotchety eyes looking back at me in the mirror. I walked out of work crabby to the max today from work. Stupid state-mandated testing. Stupid people not believing in me. Stupid me not believing in myself. I was doomed.

I changed, then she grabbed my hands and started wrapping them. Then I got to wear the coolest things ever:

For the next 60 minutes, I huffed, puffed and punched a gigantic black bag. It almost knocked me over sometimes. I almost knocked it out sometimes. Through it all, a super spastic Australian man named Robbie prodded us onward while yelling things like "Higher! Kill it! Jab at the body, jab at the head! Men don't like love handles, but women HATE love handles! THROW AWAY YOUR LOVE HANDLES!" You know what? I loved it.

I walked out of that gym feeling better than I had in the last few weeks. I think I proved to myself that I could do it. And if I can box, I can certainly find a job that will make me happy, find the time to pay more attention to the details that escape me in every day life, and be a kinder person. I felt like I was going to die, I cheated on a few push ups, but I did it, and I want to do it again.

I tell you what, though, this being tough is really hard work. There were some really tough people in that class today, and I worked really hard to pretend to be tough too so that they didn't beat me up. Now I'm sleepy. Thank God for my snuggly clothes and well-loved blankets, because I'm pooped. Punching is HARD. Punching hard things is REALLY HARD. I feel the only way to remedy this situation is to sit on the couch, eat a pizza lean pocket, and call it a day with my favorite Teen Moms. After all, let us not forget it is Thursday. Our crochet project might be the way to go until these shoulders of mine stop aching. I wish they would stop tattling on me while I'm trying to hang on to my inner badass.

Oscar De La Hoya never had these problems......

Snow Mania

It has been really snowy up in here. Last week, Chicago got hit with its third biggest blizzard in its recorded history and it was awesome. I freaking love snow, and I also really freaking love that snow day feelings never go away no matter how old you are. Last week, I got not one, but TWO snow days (Wednesday and Thursday) and Kev got one work from home day, which was pretty quiet for him. Last night, we got another inch and a half of snow, and I was half an hour late to grad school because of it. Yeesh. I'm a little relieved that no snow is expected for the next five days, mostly because we are running out of places to put it around here. Not to mention people are downright surly about their parking spots. Let me give you some photos to illustrate.

I guess I can see why people would put chairs in their parking spots after digging this out....

I mean there was a lot of snow. Definitely too much snow for fun-sized people.

I will say, though, it makes things look extremely pretty. Especially at the end of the day.

And lastly, and most importantly, all this snow means I got to spend extra time last week with my hot boyfriend. As an added bonus, the internet was out at our place, which means we had a legitimate excuse not to do grad school homework. That's why we're smiling so big.

I must say, I really like the snow. If it's going to be this cold, we might as well get some beautiful snow out of it. Epic weather, battling the elements, and the unpredictability of what is coming are some of the reasons I love Chicago weather.

Although, I'd also like to put in a request to the Big Guy Upstairs. Can we please get about 1 inch of snow each week so it stays looking pretty? City snow gets ugly awfully fast....

2010 Reading Challenge: Numero Dos

So yeah, here comes part two. 5 whole days later. Ooopsies. My goal this week is to get caught up with posts I have planned, so if I inundate your feed, so sorry.

The second reading challenge I did last year was also fairly simple. I needed to read 10 award winners, from whatever prize I liked. I went into this a bit skeptically, but ended up reading some of my favorite books of the year as a result. Here are some down and dirty thoughts on what I read.

1) The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell- (Arthur C. Clarke Award) This book blew my mind. To this day, I'm not sure if I would recommend it, mostly because I'm still not sure that I have spent enough time thinking about it to come to my own conclusions. I loved it, but I definitely want to read it again to sort my feelings out and let the themes marinade more. On my re-visit list for summer. (Side note: my kindergarteners hate reading books more than one time, even though I try to convince them often that it's like spending time with friends. Maybe they're not buying it because of the rash of kicking sprees our "friends" in our class have been having lately. Yikes.)

2) Brooklyn by Colm Toibin (Costa Book Award) I really read this book mostly because it was chosen as the Chicago Reads book of the year. I love the concept of the whole city having one big book club, and while I didn't really end up discussing this book with anybody, it packed a quiet punch for being such a slim, easy read. The themes of immigration and reinvention made me think about my students and the reasons behind their moves, as well as the person I am growing into as their teacher. Still waters run deep in this one.

3) Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann (National Book Award Winner)- I devoured this one during a rainy Saturday on a small lake in Wisconsin and loved it. I'm a sucker for literary fiction told from alternating viewpoints and I loved how McCann managed to develop his characters so well when each only narrated such a small portion of the book as a whole. I also loved that much of the book was about the World Trade Center pre 9/11. I'll be passing this one to my bookish friends for sure.

4) A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines (National Book Critics Circle Award) Generally, I dislike books chosen by Oprah for her book club, and for some reason, this one was no exception. One would think I would have loved this story, as I love reading about civil rights and racial struggles, as well as the power of education to make things better, but meh. The book dragged on a little for me, and it seemed to repeat itself a lot. I forced myself to finish this one. (Side note: I am an absolute book monogamist, and I almost always finish a book once I start it, even if I don't like the book. Blame it on the Catholic guilt.)

5) Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (Pulitzer Prize Winner) I adored this book. I love a great sweeping epic novel, and this reminded me of one of my favorite authors in the genre, Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I know a lot of people who refused to give this book a chance because of its hermaphroditic plot, but I'm so glad that I wasn't one of them. This might be my favorite book from this challenge. Such passion. Such thoughtfulness. Such simplicity in the heartbreaking narration. Love. Love. Love.

6) Tinkers by Paul Harding (Pulitzer Prize Winner) I really didn't like this book. I feel like Harding tried to hard for gorgeous writing and sacrificed plot as a result. It jumped around between times too much for me, and some of the connections drawn between the main character and his father were kind of obvious. Blah.

7) Vernon God Little by Pierre DBC (Booker Prize) This was another book I went into with high hopes, but it fell short. I understand that it's supposed to be a satire of sorts, but it just felt gimmicky and strange. I also found it to be unnecessarily crude for shock value, which surprises me to say because I'm generally not a prude about such things. Meh. If you want a book that raises great questions about school violence, pick up The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. The first book to bring me to tears as I finished it since I read Where the Red Fern Grows.

8) Oh. My. God. I don't think I labeled a book on my list as being Award Winner #8. I skipped straight from 7 to 9 in my records. Therefore, I'm just realizing now that I didn't actually finish this challenge at all but that I lied to myself. AGGREWRJAGOWJGHGGHAGJFGGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Epic fail. Maybe people are just skimming this and I'll still look super smart. On to......

9) The BLind Assassin by Margaret Atwood (Booker Prize) This was my first experience with Atwood, and I loved it. The twists and turns in the plot centering around two sisters were fantastic and left me shocked and gasping. I also loved that the narration was sprinkled with articles covering the fictional events in the plot. Atwood juggles first and third person narration with brilliance. I wish I had written this book. Maybe I can count this for numbers 8 and 9....

10) The Finkler Question. That dreaded question won the Booker prize this year, and I have to say, (and said it in the last post) I hated almost everything about that book. I was disappointed that it was so bad too, because my reviews of books that have won that award in the past were generally positive. Yeesh.

This will be the last of the bookish posts for awhile. Do people like them? Not like them? I personally am digging the little bite sized review formats for each book, because I like to save my in depth opinions for people who care to read such things or have read the book as well. Do people want more books? Less books? More of my silly life? More of my mediocre photography? Drop me a line and let me know.

Reading Wrap-Up 2010: Part 1

Yes, I know we are 1/12th of the way through 2011, but I needed a good chunk of time to compose my wrap-ups of the reading challenges that I did last year. This was my first foray into the world of reading challenges, and I loved both the requirements of the challenges I chose and the books that I was exposed to because of it. Without further ado, here are my notes on the books I read for the first challenge of the two that I completed last year. Want more reading updates? Friend me on GoodReads (username: nicolegas) or Twitter (@Colie025) for the latest scoops on my reading life.

The first reading challenge I signed up for over a year ago was the 2010 reading challenge. The premise of this challenge was simple: read 10 books published in 2010. I have to say that this was probably my favorite of the two reading challenges, because it exposed me to some great new books by authors I had never read before. Here's what I read:

1) Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert- I expected to love this book, all about the institution of marriage and full of definitions of marriage by people from around the globe. However, my affection for this book was tarnished by Gilbert's grouchy attitude. Her whining about having to get married got tiresome after awhile, and I didn't find her thoughts totally genuine. Overall, kind of meh.

2) Imperfect Birds: A novel by Anne Lamott- I LOVE Anne Lamott and can't recommend her books enough. This book was no exception. The writing and characters were quietly gorgeous and lovely, the plot kept me engaged, and the powerful bittersweet themes of mistakes, redemption, drug use, and aging really packed a punch. Love, love, love Anne Lamott and this book.

3)The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Steig Larsson- The Millenium trilogy was one of the few sets of books that Kev and I agree on. i was less than impressed with the amount of graphic battle in the first two books, but the treachery and deceit in this book, plus the closure inherent in the book itself, made it my favorite of the three. I'm a sucker for secret government plots, and so this was right up my alley.

4) Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman- After reading this book, I really wanted to take Kerman out for a drink and chat her up. Her narration of prison life was breezy enough to make this feel like a vacation read, but there was enough emotional depth to make it academically engaging. I do wish that Kerman had talked a little more about what led to her imprisonment in the first place. Everyone likes hearing good girl gone bad tales.

5) House Rules by Jodi Piccoult- I am a sucker for Piccoult's books. Yes, I know they are a bit fluffy, and her writing is not the greatest, but the themes she writes about keep me coming back every time. This book, about an autistic boy accused of a crime was a good brain candy read, although her books are so stinking predictable it's ridiculous. Flew through it when I needed a brain break, and it served its purpose well.

6) The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors by Michelle Young-Stone- This book got a lot of hype by my web pal Rebecca, and rightfully so. It was my hands down favorite book I read for either of my challenges last year. I loved the characters, I loved the plot, and I have begged my bookish friends to read it, too. One of those rare books that I picked up and could not put down. Go get it. Please.

7) Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris- This book was awful. I forced myself to finish it out of respect for how much I love Sedaris normally but the unnecessary violence and sarcastic animal characters did nothing for me. I have no idea what purpose Sedaris was trying to achieve, but it didn't do it for me. Did I miss something here? Yikes.

8) The Marriage Artist by Andrew Winer- I received this book as part of LibraryThing's early reviewer program, and it was wonderful. I love a plot that twists and turns, and I love even more tales of complicated loves and mysterious losses. Lovely, heart wrenching writing and characters that were gloriously real and alive with faults, this was a great read.

9) Room by Emma Donoghue-There has been a lot of hype about this book. While I hated the phony narration of the main character, watching his mother's fight to keep them alive inside while locked in their own world was enough to make me read this entire book in one afternoon. I got sucked into this book the same way Law and Order: SVU always grabs me. How are there people in the world that would really do such things? How do victims cope? This one haunted me for a long time. Sidenote: Kev read it and never finished it. His hatred of this book was cause for some extremely spirited debate between us for quite some time.

10) The Finkler Question by Howard Jacobsen- If it hadn't been December and this book hadn't also been an award winner, which allowed me to double-dip with my other challenge, I would have never finished this book. I'm all for obnoxious book characters, but the main character in this book was so irritating that I found myself rooting against him. The book was overly long, tried too hard to have poetic language, and had characters who dragged the book down. Yikes.

Well, friends, there you have it. Look for upcoming posts about my second reading challenge of 2010, as well as the three (yes, 3) challenges I'm participating in this year. Happy reading!

Crazy Jobs

The talk of my crazy job today is the weather. Because Chicago is about to be hit with a crazy thundersnow of epic blizzarding proportions, school has already been canceled for tomorrow. Although we're not announcing it to the kiddos until closer to the end of the day, murmurs are afoot. I, for one, am just plain excited. Sure, this cancellation means that we'll have to make up a day at the end of the year, but right now is a miserable time to be at school, what with the darkness in the morning, the looming pressures of high stakes testing, and drama going on about job placement next year, so I'm happy to stay home in my robe reading books, catching up on homework, working out, and generally lounging.

This morning I was so excited about the snow that I bounded out of bed, which is a rather strange occurrence for a confirmed morning crabass like myself. Even more strangely, Kev was up and chatty at the same time, and we started talking a little bit about the many differences between our jobs. Kev noted that his bosses know that he takes the Metra to work, and that they would probably expect him to come in tomorrow regardless of weather. I voted that he lobby hard to "work from home."

I'm fascinated by people that can work from home, or people that have different jobs than mine. My favorite thing to do is to ask people about their jobs, which my husband and friends think is a terribly odd trait. However, it's a good reminder for me that not everyone's jobs come with the perks of snow days and summers off, but are also not full of whining kids and administrators who play favorites. Besides, if I didn't ask, I would have never found out about my friend who is a physician assistant. Her whole job is to assist with robot performed surgeries. Basically, she moves internal organs out of the way while a doctor uses a nintendo-like remote to guide a robot to perform precise surgeries.

That's freaking awesome.

So, moral of the story, I hope you remember today to try and find ways to value the positives of your job more than the negative, and to appreciate the people in your life who are unsung heroes in their jobs. This unsung hero will be home tomorrow, using her snow day to count the many reasons she loves her job. Happy Tuesday!

Around the House

Kev has class on Thursdays, which means that I spend Thursdays alone with whatever plans I make. This might make me the worst wife ever, but I sort of like the odd weeknight at home alone. Generally, I spend these nights on the couch with the cats and a book, avoiding my to-do lists and alternating between reading and watching my guilty pleasure tv that Kev abhors. (Strange side note: while Kev is a gigantic Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 fan, he will not watch more than 10 seconds of 16 and Pregnant. He says that actually seeing how young the girls are while they are physically pregnant gives him the creeps. I find this odd.)

Today, though, I finally did something I've not been making time for, and played with our new camera. Yes, for Christmas we were lucky enough to receive enough Amazon gift cards to make buying our dream camera. I am ecstatic, and true to my secret love of all things reading and research, spent some copious interweb time looking for some help getting my creative itch scratched. While I want to use my camera a LOT, I just don't think I'm ready for the traditional photo a day, 365 challenge. However, this blog has a great weekly photo challenge, and I figured that I could at least do that.

Or so I thought. Oops. Somehow, we are now on Week 4, and I spent tonight working on Week One's assignment. Big oops. So, while I'm hoping to catch up with the rest of my photo procrastinating this weekend, here are my favorite shots from Week 1's challenge: Around the House.



While I'm not crazy about my iron being in this shot, it does have three of my favorite things about our home in it: our orange curtains, our dining room light fixture, and our arched doorways. When I think about going home, this is one of the mental pictures I have.



This picture makes me laugh really hard because it so perfectly sums up Kev's and my eating habits. Top shelf full of tamales, lean pockets, chocolate and Ben and Jerry's: mine. Bottom shelf full of meat: Kev.



This picture was just born out of curiosity about shooting with no flash out a dark window. To me, it is Chicago. Porches, exposed brick, and kind of a strange finish. I also like the funk factor of my patterned scarf's reflection on the glass.



I love glasses. They just say "good times ahead" to me. Or maybe that's just the liquid I fill these guys with talking.



I'm not brave enough yet to attempt self portraits, but I kind of like the strangeness of my three paned bathroom mirror. It's sort of eerie, no? Definitely the scariest elbow I've seen all day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am running late for my usual Thursday night Lean Pocket, pajama and pregnant teen Thursdays. TGIT.

Little Life Updates

I had a few whole big posts in the works, but then I realized that I probably won't have time today after school to do the kind of life update and reading update and photo updating that I'd like to, so those posts will have to wait for other days this week. For now, here is a teensy list of items floating around my brain.

1) I like the cold, but I wish you could exercise outside in it. I love the snow, and bundling up in blankets, and the sheer adventure of wondering if you will survive when you step out the door, but I wish it was bike riding season, or running season. I know people do both of those things in the winter, but I'm just not willing to risk my life in such ways.

2) Kev and I had a fabulous day on Saturday. We had no plans all day, hung out in our wicked awesome bathrobes (which truly do deserve their own post), read books, played video games, and went out on a fabulously wonderful date to the sushi place near our house, where we drank wine and solved the world's problems. I love my partner in crime.

3) Things have been tough at work lately. Without getting into it, there has been a whole lot of drama. Luckily, instead of letting it bring me down, I'm letting it give me the courage to explore my options and I'm finding some great ones. I've also found a support system of people I never knew were cheering me on ready to help. And of course, I have my man by my side (see #2) and a whole passel of friends to take my mind off things. Life is good, despite the mayhem, and I'm oddly grateful to be going through what I'm going through.

4) I have some kicking reading challenges lined up this year, which also deserve their own blog post, and I'm having a great time with them.

5) I also get to walk my Godpuppy today. He's a corgi and he's silly. More on that later.

6) I'm getting absurdly into the skinny jeans and boots look, although I have a strong belief that people need to wear butt-covering shirts with such apparel. I have seen far too many adult women running around without pants and it makes me uncomfortable. I like to choose whose buns I get to see and when I see them, thanks. What's with that, anyway?

Well, my friends, I know this wasn't much of a post after the two week hiatus, but given a terrifying to do list at work, homework, and a friend's birthday party tonight, it's the best you are going to get today. Happy Tuesday

Confession

I'm pretty sure that I'm going to hell....because of mixed nuts.

Let me explain.

Two years ago, our school piloted being a peanut free school. This meant no staff or students were permitted to bring any peanuts, tree nuts, or products with peanuts or tree nuts (like many granola bars) to school. We were told to abstain in order to protect the kids in our building who have allergies to these kinds of nuts. Students who brought items with peanuts (like peanut butter sandwiches) were forced to sit at a separate table away from the other students. All students had (and still have) to clean their hands with cleaning and de-germing wipes. Teaching assistants were turned into searching machines, sniffing out traces of nuts.

After some parent outcry, they lifted the ban last year, and we were "encouraged to abstain" from bringing nuts. We have big yellow signs on every door with notes from our district superintendent encouraging us not to bring these items to school. The kids are still wiping down before they start the day and at lunch, but now it's the allergy kids who sit at their own table (with friends who have sanctioned lunches).
As for me? I've become a nut felon. Most of the time, I try to eat according to a healthy eating plan, and this plan recommends that we eat a thumb sized serving of a healthy fat (like nuts or olives) after each meal. So, deep in the depths of the bottom drawer of my desk, which is inside the tiny office in my classroom, I have a jar of cashews and macadamias.

Although my nuts are hidden, I still feel guilty enough about this to devote a whole blog post to it. Why? I make sure to wipe down my hands after I eat the teensy serving of nuts twice a day, and none of the students that are in my classroom throughout the day are allergic. Most of the students in our school are allergic to peanuts, not tree nuts. And yet, I can't shake this guilty feeling.

Tell me your thoughts. Am I insane for feeling guilty about this? Or do I need a good punch in the face for eating my nuts so cavalierly? I need some outside perspective on this one.

2011

I was going to write a big blog post complete with a picture from each month of 2010, along with some thoughts. However, I realized something: we have big gaps (Jan-May, in particular) with NO photos. Yipes. So instead, here is my resolution for 2011:quiet focus.

In 2010, I feel like Kev and I really settled into being married. We stopped worrying about what our friends thought if we missed or made plans (were we weird because we were the only married couple and we still went out a lot? were we weird if we wanted to stay in?) We also started to really look towards our future. We both started grad school, we bought our condo, and we made more solid plans for our finances. We started eating healthier. We lost some weight. We gained some exercise. (By the way, I'm hoping to learn how to spell the word exercise right on the first try in 2011. It always takes me three tries. Exersize. Excersics. Exercise. Damn.)

You know what I learned in 2010? Growing up isn't half bad. I love the home we're building. I love watching our mish-mosh of college furniture slowly disappear as we hunt for the perfect items for our new place. I love talking about what we might be when we grow up. I love learning things from Kev, like how to jump a car. I love laughing at our 8 trillion weird jokes and arguing over the 8 trillion pieces of clothing all over our bedroom floor. I've realized that I love my life-and sometimes that means not worrying about where that makes me stand in relation to my friends. I'm always going to be awkward, and unique and different and strange. Because as Coco Chanel once said "to be irreplaceable, you have to be different."

So, for 2011, my goals are fairly simple. I want to get back to the goal weight I achieved this summer (damn you, Polish food, cookies, and oodles of wine that added 4 holiday pounds to my gut). I want to quit procrastinating, and focus on achieving a few meaningful things each day at work and at home, and I want to take a few pictures each week to remind myself how lucky I really, really am.

Happy 2011 to all of my family and friends. Whether I see you every day or once every few years, I'm blessed to have you in my life.

Ten Things for Tuesday

***I planned on doing a long post about what we did over break and New Years, but I'm tired from getting back to work and quite frankly sick of reading other people's posts about how they are too fat, so you're getting this instead.

1) I want to go to Florida to spend some time with my grandparents over spring break. The airfare is not cooperating with this plan. Boo hiss.

2) I'm playing a round of Game-On Diet with my co-workers to start 2011 off right. Fortunately, it's holding me accountable. Unfortunately, eating healthy serving sizes is leaving me STARVING after binge-ing all of break.

3) Today I had a great day at school! My two lowest students (who happen to be sisters) both showed flashes of brilliance today and used more English than I've heard them use before. Sometimes I think I have the greatest job in the whole world.

4) Kev had a major disappointment today. Oddly, it reminded me how much I adore him, because I hurt worse for him than I think he ended up feeling for himself.

5) I love the All-State Mayhem commercials. I still giggle every time I see the high school texting one. I want them to keep airing forever.

6) After a month-long hiatus, I went back to my normal routine of walking my former neighbor's dog. I opened the door and he came running to me. I think he was happier to see me after Christmas break than my students were.

7) I'm absurdly excited that Teen Mom 2 is going to happen. This show also makes me absurdly thankful that I didn't have a child when I was 16. Especially since that child would be 10 now. Yikes.

8) Kev has his 10 year reunion this summer. I'm already a little stressed about what to wear. I hope I can find a fantastic sundress for the occasion, especially since we went to the same high school and I'll know a majority of the people there.

9) I know a lot of people that think that Facebook has made high school reunions obsolete. This makes me sad. What about all the people that I don't stalk on Facebook? What about all the people that are going to appear much more or less normal in person than they do on Facebook? So many questions.....

10)I'm officially addicted to swap.com., which has yielded me a gigantic to-be-read pile that Kev is starting to comment on. I'd better finish my trashy vampire book tonight so I can start reading some big kid books again.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Getting the Magic Back

It's that time of year, folks. Not Christmastime, not holidays in general. It's the time of year where my students start to drive me a little crazy.

Now, don't get me wrong. My kiddos are just as cute and hard-working as ever. Easily distracted by mentions of the upcoming holidays, sure, but mostly fine. It's me that's the problem. I'm frustrated that our winter benchmark scores aren't higher, worried about the ongoing evaluations I have to submit to as part of being a non-tenured teacher, and antsy for the two week long break that begins next week but still seems so very far away. Last week, I found myself getting downright snippy over stupid things. I even uttered the phrase "shame on you" to two of my students who were food fighting at snack time. Seriously, I said "shame on you" to two students who are still learning English and are clearly a few generations behind any person that would actually be shamed by that phrase. Except for me, of course. I shamed myself by using it. But I digress.

The good news is, I got my mojo back with my kids at the unlikeliest of places: a field trip. Today, we spent the whole kindergarten morning at the Chicago Botanic Garden Wonderland Express, and it was, quite frankly awesome. I had lots of parents show up to help supervise, the kids were fairly well behaved, and we were all in awe over the tons of model trains, hothouse plants, and Christmas trees that we saw. The museum even had a scavenger hunt bingo sheet for the kids to mark with stickers to help them focus on specific things throughout the museum. It was awesome.

Like married life, I sometimes find myself looking for ways to keep the magic alive with my kids. Spending 8 hours a day with tiny, pesky, humans is a lot. Sometimes it's easy to see their flaws instead of what they are: developing humans who are learning one day at a time to make their worlds better. Days like today remind me that when I find myself in a rut with them, that it's time to start something new, so that I can see the best sides of them. One of my naughtiest kids even begged me to sit by him on the bus today, and asked me to hold his hand throughout the exhibits. Say it with me: awwww.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and bored with the routine. It's easy to take the people in your life, both under and over five feet tall, for granted. It's harder to do something unexpected, to break out of the norm and shrug off the responsibilities for a day to get out there and remind yourself why, exactly, you continue to fight so hard for the people that you have in your life. But it's so, so, worth it.

I think I might even survive these next three days :)

It's Really Here!

Well, folks, I'm writing to you today from the comfort of my couch, where I have been laid up with some sort of heinous stomach virus for the last 24 hours. I would have posted sooner, since I have lots of time on my hands between trips to the bathroom, however I thought that the N key was broken on my computer. Luckily, I whacked it really hard, and it seems to be working. nnnnnn. Yep, we're good to go.

Christmas season has arrived and arrived hard at the Gas house this year. We're stoked. Gifts have been purchased and requested. As usual, my gifts to Kev are probably going to be my favorites that I buy for anyone in my family. He doesn't like to give me a lot of hints as to what he wants, which I take as a personal challenge, however I think I usually guess well. I'll catch you up on what I got him after Christmas, of course.

I'm not going to lie, the first few Christmases Kev and I spent together were kind of tricky. There were a lot of negotiations about scheduling (as in: we can miss Christmas morning at my house to go to your house, but then I will NOT miss Christmas Eve at my Grandmas, etc.) There were also a lot of awkward figuring out of roles. Should I bring a beverage or dish the way real adults do? Do I claim a seat at the kid table even though I married into this family? Why are Kev's cousins making fun of me because I volunteered to help with the clean-up? Tricky business. However, I feel like we've settled in a bit. This is the third Christmas I'll be celebrating with both sets of parents, and we've fallen into a rhythm.

What this means is, I've decided that this is the Christmas that we're going to extend to our home. Now that we have a home that we'll be in for the next 5+ years, we're decorating. Stockings are up. We have a teensy tree that the cats miraculously haven't ruined yet, and I demanded that we celebrate St. Nicholas night on December 6th and fill each other's stockings. Every year since we've been dating, we go downtown to see the Daily Center Christmas tree. Slowly, very slowly, we're inching into building traditions of our own. While Kev thought I was kind of strange at first for demanding a tree and St. Nick's night, he agreed Sunday night after opening stockings that he loved it, and it's something we need to keep. Starting little traditions between the two of us has so far been one of the best things about being married. It confirms once again that I have a partner in crime. It's weird, and adult-ish, but also super fun.

Did anyone else need to take some time to get into a Christmas rhythm with their other half? Do any of you have a holiday tradition or event that you would demand a significant other to participate in? Or are we crazy? Let us know.

Blessed

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, and this year was no exception. Fun with my crazy siblings (home from college), our crazy college friends (home from being adults) and spending quality time with the crazy adults that played a large part of my childhood (explains a lot about me). However, a few things happened last night that made me really feel how lucky I am. First of all, we put up our very first tree together. It's a 4 foot tall fake one, and we don't have any ornaments to put on it, but a little ribbon and some dollar store glitter globes did the trick. We also put up our stockings (new from last Christmas) and are getting ready to find a home for the beautiful manger my grandma has bought us. That's actually a good story...for another day.

A family that we are excellent friends with has been hit by a tragedy, and we found out about it last night. The contrast between the sad texts and the happy environment really reminded me how lucky I am for the following:

-Laughter every day
-Knowing every day that I am loved, sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all
-a home that is safe and comfortable
-friends from all walks of life
-my education, even when I complain about it (ahem, grad school)
-the fact that I get to educate others
-stupid kittens that snuggle and entertain
-financial stability in these uncertain times
-a job that challenges, frustrates and inspires me, all daily

Happy Holidays! There's lots to be thankful for, and not just on Thanksgiving. Chances are, if you are reading this, you're on my thankful list. So thanks, just for being you.

Great Escape

Last weekend, Kev and I went to the wedding of two awesome friends of ours. The groom had stood up in our wedding, and we adore both of them. Even better, we've known then for a very long time, so we were able to sneak out to the suburbs for a weekend of behaving poorly and dancing the night away.

We came back early on Sunday, since we had grad school homework to do and a house to get in order. As we walked up our courtyard, it appeared that the screen of our second-story living room was out. "Yikes," I said to Kev, "I really hope that the screen doesn't have a big hole in it." "I know," said Kev, "Otherwise the kitties would be very cold."

We walked into the lobby of our building to find two things. 1) Our screen, and 2) a sign.

FOUND CAT (LOBBY)
ORANGE AND WHITE
LARGE

We walked in and hunted around our place. There was Dante, hissing beneath a couch and being his generally crochety self. No Felix. Disturbing, since the only route of escape would have been out the SECOND STORY WINDOW.

We called the number on the sign and walked into the condo of the woman across the hall. We'd never met before. Turns out, we'd never met because she is a cat woman in every sense of the word. Embroidered cat pillows, framed cat wall art, three cat condos all taller than I am, six cats. I couldn't even look at Kev while we were in there. It was amazing and terrifying, all at the same time. Last but not least, hiding in her bathroom, Felix.

In the weeks since, Felix has seemed fine, although I doubt we'd be able to tell a difference from his usual stupidly happy behavior. Moral of the story: While you are off behaving irresponsibly in a hotel, your cats will behave irresponsibly at home. Being a pet owner is not for the faint of heart.

Ways I Know I'm Getting Old

-I have a headache spawned from work stresses, not booze.
-I'm thinking about going to bed at 9:45 to remedy this problem, rather than going out to a bar. Because again, it's some sort of strange sober headache.
-I am only on page 72 of a book I started a week ago.
-I've worn heels out to events without people calling me ahead of time demanding that I do so.
-I saw one of my second grade students wearing a neon comic-book print rain slicker with aviators and plaid pants. I told him he looked like Elton John. He responded "Who's that?"
-I just heard that New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys are touring together and performing mash-ups of their greatest hits. I squealed in delight while driving my Focus.
-I'm going to a wedding this week, which made me realize that if I am ever the head bridesmaid at a wedding, I will be known as the "Matron of Honor." Ew, ew, ew.

Somebody help me.

The Joys of Photography

Recently, we went to Vegas for our friends' wedding. They had an awesome, low key ceremony that was perfect for the two of them, and as a wedding gift, we borrowed one of Kev's coworkers' fancy shmancy camera so that we could commemorate their big day. Before taking the camera to the Vegas wedding, Kev, his dad, and I headed up to Minnesota to visit Kev's younger siblings at college. I spent an afternoon with the camera and I am now officially addicted. As previously mentioned, I'm trying to become more of a creative, artsy person, and I feel this may help. Unfortunately, the camera is way out of our price range, so I guess I'll just have to post wistfully about how awesome having it was, and then hope somebody reads this and takes pity on me. Preferably somebody with a generous heart, a softness for chatterboxes like myself, and lots of cold, hard cash.

I mean, this camera takes very relaxing pictures of tress:


It also takes pictures of delicious grapes at vineyards:



It can document snazzy fashion choices:


Best of all, it has a multi-frame feature which allows you to take multiple shots with a single push of the button. This option is especially helpful for archiving important moments in sporting events. For example, when Kev's dad out putted Kev in frisbee golf:


That last photo alone should be enough evidence. Have I convinced you that I need this yet?

Halloween Madness

It's the Friday before Halloween, which, for my students, means a day of insanity and catwalk-like presentations of their costumes. The world of kindergarten has been an exhausting place lately. I've had a crier in my room every day this week, and a terrible hacking cough has been circulating around my room, which actually makes me grateful for my overzealous immune system. I'm currently writing this in my empty classroom, surrounded by cupcake shrapnel, while the shrieks of the neighboring over-sugared first graders pierce the walls.

Overall, it was a very exciting Halloween party, complete with skeletons made from Q-tips, toilet paper mummy wraps, and a parade around the school. The funniest part about working at a school with a young staff, though, is that we were all secretly whispering about our "grown up" costumes. You know, the costumes that no child should see a teacher wearing. You know, the costumes that remind us that there is life beyond purple glue sticks, keds, and parent teacher conferences. The trend for girls seems to be to dress slutty, which doesn't exactly translate to grade-school friendly adult attire, which means most of us have a "school" costume and a "real" costume. I settled for a pair of butterfly wings with jeans and a t-shirt. My kids told me I looked gorgeous, and I was comfortable enough to endure the treat induced tantrums.

Grown up costuming, on the other hand, is another story. I'm not really into the scandalous thing, and now that I'm married, I really don't see the point. After all, Kev has this locked down. Kev has also announced that he has no interest in dressing up this year, even though it is a good friend's birthday and we will be at a bar celebrating all night. I still have no idea what to be, although I can give you a list of suggestions I gave to Kev about dynamic duo costumes for the two of us, including Coach Q and the Stanley Cup, a Ghostbuster and Slimer, and a lawn gnome and a landscaper. I'll let you figure out who would be whom in each pairing. After a hearty veto from Kev on all counts, I'll be spending the next 24 hours whipping up something awesome. Something.... I just don't know what yet...

Kev and I were out of town the last two weekends in a row, so look forward to some excellent photo recaps this weekend of our adventures.

Happy Halloween!

Itch (the good kind)

I've decided lately that I need a hobby. Or rather, I'm itching to create something tangible. Like a knitted hat, or a fabulous meal, or a series of thoughtful photographs.

Kev has always been the more creatively talented of the two of us. He took years of art classes as a kid, and has some astoundingly beautiful drawings and paintings to his name. He's also a suspiciously good athlete. He hides it well, but he is. It seems like anything that guy touches, he's good at. It's one of the many reasons I married him.

I, on the other hand, am the queen of big ideas. I love to sign up for things or start things, but I rarely finish them. This is a major problem for me, and probably contributes to my lack of really cool talents. Sure, I'm a decent teacher, and I can write things that make a bit of sense, but that's about it. Sports? I'm a disaster. Art? My kindergarteners routinely do better. Crafts? Forget it. The only thing I'm really talented at is setting a goal. Meeting it? That's another story.

I'm going home today to bake some pumpkin cookies, and this weekend Kev and I are going up to his brother's college to visit him. At said beautiful small college, we will have the chance to take lots of outdoorsy photos, which I'm hoping to frame and stick on our wall above our purdy new couches. Maybe, just maybe, if I continue with one of these options, I can start a new hobby.

I have a creative itch that I'm looking to scratch, but I fear this may take some work and practice, two things I don't like. As I'm typing this, I'm realizing I may need to start small. Maybe I'll take my camera out once a week, and I'll bake or cook something new once a week. Maybe it will get easier if I start small. Maybe I will follow through on these resolutions.

Maybe I'll even post about it someday soon....

Señor Justin Bieber

Yesterday, I was walking down the hallway when I spotted one of my first grade friends. She is a teensy Mexican girl in our transitional bilingual program, and I love her because she always has a smile on her face. I happened to notice that she had a large picture taped to the inside of her locker, something that is kind of a rarity among six year olds, since they are generally not as pop-culture savvy as some of the older students. Not this peanut, though.

Not seeing the picture, I asked my friend who was in the picture in Spanish. She didn't miss a beat. Replying back in Spanish, she said "You know him, Mrs. G. Es el señor Justin Bieber. Claro." Of course, indeed.

This makes me laugh for several reasons
1) Justin Bieber is 16. He definitely has not earned the title "Mr. Justin Bieber" yet
2) Justin Bieber is so popular that even a six year old that hasn't yet learned English knows him and loves him enough to put in his locker.
3) I missed an opportunity to ask her to sing me a Justin Bieber song.
4) Somebody signed the Justin Bieber photo in a suspiciously elementary school looking style of cursive. Perhaps a third grader?
5) She used the word "claro" which means of course. Implying that I must be really stupid for not knowing that he would be in her locker.

Wow. Just, wow. The best thing I can say about my job is that it is never, ever, boring.

Think Before You Wed

Hi All! Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Grad school has started again and I was in a bit of a pickle at work that was eating my soul. Luckily, I've given myself a mental pep talk, turned the corner, and now I'm off and running again. I promise more posts this week, but in the meantime, here are some thoughts for today.

Last weekend, I had a girls night with some of my co-workers, one of whom has been dating her boyfriend for 18 months. Somehow, we started talking about how you know if the person you are dating is the person you will marry. Represented in the group were women who had been married anywhere from 4 months to 8 years, so I feel we had a somewhat wide range of experiences to work with. I get asked all the time how Kev and I knew we were ready to get married. I'd like to tell those of you pondering that question that there was one magical moment that made me realize that I wanted Kev to be mine forever, but the truth is a lot more complicated. I can't point to any one thing that makes Kev perfect for me, but I do have a little checklist that the ladies and I came up with that may help.

10 Signs You Should Probably Put a Ring On It:
1) The person you are dating is the first person you call with good or bad news. Or irrelevant news. Or puns. Or for no reason at all.
2) Running errands with that person is something you enjoy doing. Because if you get married, you will have a lot of conversations about boring things, and need to make a lot of mundane decisions (which brand of cat litter to use, should you upgrade your toilet plunger, etc.) together.
3) You would be happy to spend the rest of your life with the person you are dating TODAY. Believe me, the person you walk down the aisle towards will not magically change with the signing of a legally binding piece of paper. When you get married, you will still have the same blessings and problems that you did before you took the plunge. Trust me on this.
4) You have a good belly laugh with that person every single day.
5) You have woken up next to each other and not been grossed out.
6) You can tease your significant other, but damn it if someone else makes a joke that hits a little too close to home, you ferociously defend that person.
7) You've talked about money and can live with the fallout from that conversation. (Side note: Kev had no idea that women's haircuts usually cost more than 20 bucks. He still fails to understand why I refuse to get my hair cut at Supercuts with me, or why I shop at stores besides Kohls for my clothes.)
8) You realize that this person will be your plus one to almost all the events you go to, and it doesn't make you cringe. This includes family events, weddings for people neither of you really like, and extremely boring and shmoozy work functions.
9) You've eaten each other's cooking and lived to tell about it.
10) You realize creating a healthy marriage and creating a beautiful wedding are not the same thing.

Now tell me, what am I leaving off the list?

Early to Bed

I wish I had more to write about today, but I really don't. I'm tired. Here are some of the things that are making me exhausted today:

1) During reading centers, I thought it would be fun to put some letter stamps and the stamp pad out for the kids to make words on paper using the letters they've learned. Instead, they made butterflies on the table using the hands they have. Also, handprints on their faces like clowns, on their shirts, in their hair. Sigh. I guess we're not ready for that yet. Sometimes I forget that I spend most of September just teaching them how to be at school. At this rate, we won't be ready for stamp pads til graduation. Yikes.

2) I just put in my big assignments for grad school, and realized that almost every major due date comes the Monday after I will be out of town for family visits or weddings. Double Yikes.

3) We had curriculum night at school last night. I worked a 13 hour day, and only 5 parents showed up. Triple Yikes.

On the plus side, I have the following things to look forward to:
1) I get to ride my bike to let out my ex-neighbor's dog today and tomorrow. This combines two things I love- bikes and puppies. (By the way, my bike still needs a name-any thoughts?)

2) Kevin is leaving for the wedding he is standing up in tonight, which means A) I can go to bed at 9:30 (which I will) and B) it is getting closer to Friday, which is when I am taking the day off of work to go to said wedding. I am inching towards a weekend where I wear multiple dresses and pairs of heels and drink enough cocktails to forget about the great Red Ink Stamp incident of 2010.

3) When I take the bus down on Friday morning I can sleep the whole time and read some great books. 5 hours of me time. Yes.

Happy Hump day!

How's Married Life?

I get that question a lot. I've now been married for 449 days, and I still have no idea how to answer it. Here are some responses I've considered giving:

1) Not all that different from living in sin Because honestly, it's not. Kev and I worked out all the little kinks about living together in the year we were engaged, which was our first year living together. Since we've gotten married, we have joint bank accounts, and we make each other a little more of a priority. We talk about the future more. But, really, that's about it.

2)Great! We bone all the time! I'm hoping that if I announced that, it would stop the tedious small talk immediately. Although, maybe not.

3) Well, I'm hoping I won't live it that much longer Why not answer an inane question with an untrue response meant to provoke gossip? At least it would give the question asker something exciting to talk about.

4) Great! That's what I usually say, because it is.

Honestly, though, I understand that people who haven't talked to me in awhile ask this question. I'm never quite sure what they are looking for in the answer. Life with Kev is really good, but it also has its own rhythm. For a while, we were in househunting mode, then absorbed in all the summer activities, and now, our fall is going to be consumed with a lot of small trips, most of which involve somebody's nuptials (which, incidentally, is a word I can't stand. I'll save that rant for another time, though). I'll go back to something I've said before: Our marriage has given me the ultimate partner in crime for all the mayhem that comes with our crazy and hilarious life. Somehow, though, I don't think that's the answer the question-er is looking for.

What's the best way YOU'VE ever heard anybody answer the married life question?

Obsessions

As some of you might have noticed, I'm kind of a resolution maker. I'm forever turning over new leaves, then abandoning them when I get busy or they get tricky. However, as a result of playing The Game On Diet with a bunch of online and real friends, I'm down 7 pounds. More importantly than that, though, I've started using some new tools to keep my life in order and myself more accountable to....well...myself. While I'm not saying that these things are perfect, here are some recent obsessions of mine in no particular order- just so you know what I think is awesome these days.

1) Bikes~~I'm currently lusting for a bike. I begged for one for my birthday, and I think Kev and I are going to kmart to pick one out for me. I don't want anything fancy, just something I can cruise around on instead of using public trans to visit my friends or run errands on when it's nice out. It's also going to go along nicely with my current goal, which is to keep off the weight I lost playing the Diet game. (It ended Sunday, I came in 4th, but more importantly, I lost my grad school weight) I'm obsessed with the idea of a funky vintage-y cruiser with a basket, however I feel my wallet and bike pricing might have more to say about what style I end up with than my dreams do.

2) Groupon and Buywithme Deal sites- These sites sound annoying. They send a daily coupon for a service/restaurant/clothes etc somewhere in your area. Luckily, I live in a big city with lots of options. While usually I look at the deals and decide I don't need/want it, about twice a month I've found ones that I'm super excited about. Most recently, I've bought a $50 gap coupon for $25, and $15 for $30 at my favorite margarita place. I'm obsessed. Buywithme even donates 10% of your purchase to a local charity of your choice. How rad is that?

3) Swaptree.com~~ Swaptree lets you list video games and books that you are finished with and would like to get rid of. However, the awesome part is that it also asks you to make a want list of books and video games you'd LIKE to receive. Then, it matches you up with people who are getting rid of books on your want list, and you can barter. The only costs associated are what you pay to mail your item. Swaptree makes its money by offering you the option to purchase a shipping label through them that has postage pre-paid. I usually go that route because I've found their shipping rates to be about the same as the post office. So far, I've completed 6 trades, and have gotten 5 books for me and one video game for Kev. Awesome.

4) Swagbucks.com- Use my banner below to join if you'd like. While the search engine is pretty crappy, (I'm a google gal myself) you can randomly earn swagbucks for using it. 450 swagbucks= $5 in amazon gift cards. While I personally don't use the search engine for ALL of my needs, they also have daily polls, swag codes "hidden" in their website, and surveys you can complete for more prizes. Like I said, I don't use it THAT much for searching, and I'm not a huge survey gal, but so far I've earned $15 free dollars to amazon. FREE. Like, paying no money. Amazing.

So here's the banner, if you are so inclined. I also highly recommend installing their "widget" especially if you have a google homepage. You can use it to tell you where the swag codes are hidden, and you can get a TON of swagbucks that way.




5) My flipcam- Last year for Christmas, Kevin got me a flipcam. I'm obsessed with this little baby, and am currently using it at school to make an imovie for my parents to watch as part of my curriculum night presentation. Rock on! So handy


Well, now that I've bored you all to tears, those are my current favorite things. Just call me Oprah

Mrs. Kevin Gas

Last week, while I was off the grid, two things happened. It was my birthday week, and it was also the first week of school. So far, the first weeks of work have been chaotic but fun, and my birthday week was an extravaganza, as usual. However, something arrived in my mailbox that was concerning.

It was a birthday card. From my grandma. Addressed to Mrs. Kevin Gas.

Now, I love my grandma and this is not a criticism of her, since I know she is very traditional about mailing cards and addressing them using married names. I will say, though, that it really irks me when I get mail (wedding save the dates, bills, and apparently birthday cards) that are addressed to me as Mrs. Kevin Gas. It makes me feel like I am now property of Kevin, and have lost both my first AND my last name.

I'm traditional in the fact that I took Kev's last name, even though I am an elementary school teacher. Luckily, the kids have been awesome about not making jokes this year, since it's now the second school year I've had it, and I've settled in. Personally, I like the idea of my someday kids having the same last name as we do, but I understand that there are lots of different opinions about whether or not to take the last name.

It's my first name where I draw the line. I'm not "Mrs. Kevin." I'm NICOLE, or Colie, or a host of other nicknames. When I see my name written as Mrs. Kevin Gas it makes me feel like Kevin's property, instead of myself, which is a person with her own career, interests, and passions that just HAPPENS to have fallen in love with an amazing man and gotten married. It irks me to the point that I asked the priest and bishop who married us not one, not two, not three, but FOUR times to make sure he announced us as "Mr. and Mrs. Kevin and Nicole Gas" when he was leading up to the big first kiss moment at the end of mass.

It's weird enough when my mechanic calls me Mrs. Gas, or when telemarketers ask for Nicole Gas. I don't need to lose my first name too. So there

Laminating and Other Tasks

So, as I mentioned in previous posts (and my lack thereof), the school year has started this week. I'm going to try to get into a regular MWF posting schedule starting next week, because I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with my classroom. My kids are, so far, squirmy and cute. I have a new team member who I love. I sort of feel like I know what I'm doing. Life is good.

In fact, I've redone the way my entire classroom is laid out. While this originally involved a lot of hauling around heavy bookshelves and tables, it now involves lots of laminating. Laminating posters that came with new curriculum. Laminating name plates. Laminating pocket chart stuff. While I love the smell of lamination in the morning, I have run into a slight conundrum, and I need your help to figure it out.

My school laptop has only kindergarten songs on the itunes. Dr. Jean, Jolly Phonics songs, and a whole host of other silly tunes (hello, vintage Raffi) that I keep around because I love a good excuse to choreograph dance moves for a pack of five year olds. However, said laptop is connected to the school's internet, which means that teachers have the same firewall as students. While this really isn't a big deal, I'm annoyed for one reason. This year, because of budget cuts that have led to a ridiculously small bandwith, we aren't allowed to go to any radio station's websites. This includes wtmx.com, where my favorite morning show (Eric & Kathy- no Chicago people I'm NOT a soccer mom, I just like it better than that obnoxious Drex and his lotion hour) has podcasts.

In the past, after the kids left, I'd crank a podcast, and get work done around my room for an hour. Now, if I want a podcast, I'm going to have to put it on my computer at home (which means lugging a heavy bag daily on the train) or bring my iPod to school (which makes me look ridiculously anti social if people stop by my room after school). Kev and I also haven't purchased a CD in a very long time, so I can't just bring CDs to work to put on my iTunes.

Help. What's a girl to do?

I'm currently avoiding cutting out the big pile of laminating in my room in silence by writing this post. I feel my productivity will be down until this problem is solved. Yikes.

How to Name Your Child

***NOTE: I am not pregnant, and am not trying. Nor am I a parent. Nor am I trying to offend you if you have a baby whose name is one I'm ranting about currently. Just some thoughts.

Dear Parents Naming their Children,

As a grade-schooler of the 90s, I had lots of classmates named Jessica, Ashley, Lauren, Anne. Lots of Johns, Colins, Ryans, and Toms. One of my best friends' names was Erika spelled with a K because she's German. This was considered a minor scandal at the time.

At the beginning of a school year, the first information I have about my lil' peanuts is a list of their names. Your child's name will be on the list. My class lists for my students and their classmates, however, get a little more confusing. Kayleigh pronounced KY-lee, not KAY-LEE as I originally guessed. Noah, a girl. Wrigley and Addison, siblings whose parents are not Cubs fans. Joycelyn. Tlaloc. Usually, when I get my list, I spend the first ten minutes of reading it (after I count how many five year olds I will have in my room) trying to figure out how many boys and how many girls I have.

Names are starting to get confusing, people. A co-worker of mine announced the arrival of her new baby niece today. Blayksleigh. Yikes. The spelling is confusing, but I bet it is fun to write in cursive. Which leads me to speculate, why all the counter intuitive spelling? Please think carefully when writing on your child's birth certificate.

Now, you may point out, my married name is Gas. Granted, Kev and I won't have a whole ton of options when we name our someday children if we don't want to pay for extensive therapy for them later. (Jack? Mo? My brothers have supplied us with endless possibilities of names that DON'T work) But, at the same time, I don't understand why you guys seem to feel the need to spell your kids' names strangely. I actually think Blayksleigh isn't a bad name, but I would spell it Blakesly. Or Blakesley. Or something like that. Why set your kid up for endless correcting on the first day of school? Why torment your child's teachers (me among them) with endless re-writing of locker tags, name tags, desk name tags? I mean, honestly, do you all realize how many times a teacher has to write students' names on things?

I'm just saying, a name with a "cute" spelling might be fun for you, as the parent, to doodle in the margins of your notes when you are pretending to pay attention at a company meeting. But for your child, who has to learn to spell the beast, and correct everyone the rest of his or her life it may not be as cute. Just give it some thought. I mean, I'm the one who has to teach your five year old how to write it legibly and correctly. Thanks for your consideration.

Love,
Your child's kindergarten teacher

And...it's August

It's funny, because as a teacher, as soon as August comes around, my perspective shifts naturally. I dust off my alarm clock and start waking up early. I buy new planners, and start new lists. I also start new habits.

Because I'm a teacher, August is the start of my new year, and the resolutions that soon follow. New kids, new chances to grow, new yearly goals. This is the first year in my four years of teaching that I'm staying in the same position as last year: kindergarten in the morning, and first and second grade ELL groups in teh afternoon. I am, quite frankly, ecstatic about this. I poured a lot of my time and energy into making the transition from teaching second grade to teaching kindergarten a smooth one, and much of my remaining brainpower went into the two night classes each week I attended for my masters.

While I made a lot of career progress last year, areas of my personal life suffered. I tried to make up for my long hours teaching and student-ing by filling my calendar with an insane amount of social events. Kev and I spent last school year in a whilrwind of paper writing, househunting, intramural playing and beer downing. Was it fun? Absolutely. Was it healthy? Definitely not. My rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis didn't slow me down. I took my meds when I could, didn't worry about it when I couldn't.

A big RA flare up was the result, combined with a very stressful series of financial discussions in May. As a result, I realized that I physically can't sustain the breakneck pace that I worked at all last year. So, I made some changes. I spend my summer taking four summer graduate classes, so that I only have to be in class one night a week when the school year starts. I've started making lists and emailing staff, to try and get a head start on the school year. I'm playing the Game On! healthy habit building "game" with Kev and another couple, girls against boys, as well as online with a group of women I've never met in real life. Because of this, I'm getting more sleep, drinking less, eating healthier, and exercising more.

In short, it's August, and I'm bracing myself for the start of a new school year.

Fandom

When Kev and I first started dating, he had a tv in his bedroom, and when we started spending the nights together, I realized that this was pesky. Kev liked to fall asleep listening to White Sox highlights, which was problematic for two reasons:

1) I am a Cubs fan.

2) Falling asleep with the tv on gives me a raging headache when I wake up.

After many negotiations and general grouchiness, we've given away the tv, and switched to sportsradio before bed. I feel this is a good compromise. Kev gets his sports fix, I don't get headaches, and The Score talks about all kinds of Chicago sports, not just the White Sox. Everybody wins.

Last night, a caller called in and made the comment that "White Sox fans are real fans, and most of the people who go to Cubs games treat it like going to a bar where they can get drunk and check out babes." I could make lots of comments here about the general jerkiness about this statement, however it's one that I've heard lots of times- from Kev, from other Sox fans, from other callers on the show. However, the comment also made me start thinking about how you define what it means to be a "real" fan of a team. When I dared to comment on Facebook about my love for Blackhawks hockey during the playoffs this year, my brothers quickly labeled me a "bandwaggoner" despite the fact that I have put in three solid seasons of watching most of the games, sometimes with Kev, sometimes with our rabid hockey friend Colin, and sometimes by myself.

I have thus decided that "real" sports fans are the fans that meet two criteria:

1) A real sports fan can identify AT LEAST 5 current players on the team.
2) A real sports fan has watched/listened to at least 20 minutes of a game their team is playing in by themselves at least one time in their lives.

Real Fans are fans that are interested in what happens to their team every year. Not when their team is good, not when their team sucks, not only when it's trendy. A Real Fan is interested in the team for the love of the game. The Real Fan enjoys going out with a big group to watch a game, but they can also enjoy listening to the game on the radio in the car by themselves on the way home from work, or on their couch covered in cats. They don't base their fandom on who else is interested, or are only interested if they have a cute shirt to wear. They love it for lots of reasons that they have decided make sense for them.

I'm sure Kev is going to give me grief about daring to write about sports. I'm sure my soon to be law student brother would find a million ways to argue with these two simple rules, but I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, if you pass these two categories, you're a real fan of whatever team you pick.

Go Cubs, Blackhawks, Bears....or whatever you like. Just be real.

Support

It's nice to have a partner that teaches you things in a kind, calm and supportive manner, like today's gchat conversation about our new grill.

me: stupid question...to fill the propane tank do I just pump from the pump into the tank?
Kevin: NO!!!!!!!
you exchange it
for a filled one
me: oh
........ok
Kevin: ha ha ha
me: good thing I asked
Kevin: oh my God
me: well, its not like it comes with instructions
Kevin: I know, but I'm glad you asked
me: you're welcome

Reuniting

Yesterday, I reunited with some people very dear to my heart, and as I stopped and thought about it, I realized they are related.

For starters, my lil' sister came home from studying in Chile for six months. I'm so proud of her for going somewhere off the beaten path, and also incredibly jealous. I've studied in Mexico and Costa Rica, and I'm also a travel junkie. I get antsy if I don't have a trip planned, and I have a life goal of seeing as much of the world as humanly possible. I have a collector's lust for amassing connections with people and unique experiences from as many different societies as possible. My sis traveled throughout South America during her time there, hitting Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, Uruguay (I think) and the northern desert and Patagonia regions of Chile. She spent the last three weeks of her trip backpacking the Inca trail, and met people from all over the world. While I'm happy for her, I'm also very selfishly jealous. I don't know when (or if) I'm going to get to embed myself in a culture the way that she did again.

As some of you know, I teach ELL at a school with students from many different walks of life. Most of the time I love my job, and I'm fascinated by the diverse set of students and teachers that I work with. I also get to use Spanish every day, something that makes me incredibly happy and allows me to connect with a wide array of parents and students. In fact, last night, after dinner with my sis, I stopped by a local bar and caught the tail end of a summer happy hour (gone way late) with my favorite friends from work.

While we were sitting at the bar, we all started talking about the fact that most of us are now tenured and in grad school. For teachers, this means that many of us have put on the "golden handcuffs"-we're moving up the pay scale, and may be pricing ourselves out of other jobs in other districts. In effect, we've consciously or unconsciously acknowledged the fact that we're all probably going to stay at our school for the foreseeable future. As we talked about this, we all realized we had something in common: none of us, when we took our jobs, thought that we'd stay at our school for more than a year. Not because there's anything WRONG with where we teach, but because we are all (like my sister) travel nuts. We figured we'd spend a year or two in our midwestern district, and then go back out into the world. Many of us considered taking jobs teaching English in foreign countries, and almost all of us have plans to visit another country for an extended summer trip in the near future.

Before I met Kev, conversations like these with my work pals would have sent me into a panic. Committing to a job? Cutting back on my months abroad? Buying a HOME instead of planning a trip? Now, while I might travel less, I have a partner in crime to explore with, whether it's different neighborhoods in my city or different countries on a trip we plan together that has meaning for both of us. While I might not be taking trips that reflect my own selfish goals, traveling with Kev leads us to go places and see sights that I may not have chosen, but that lead me to new and different thoughts. I've learned that part of growing up means expanding your vision of where your future will take you, instead of planning your life through the lens of your own vision.

Overscheduled

This morning, Kev set his alarm, got up, and got ready for work. Believe it or not, I actually got up with him to say hello before he set out for his day. If you know me at all, you know that I love to sleep in, and you are shocked. To be fair, I think Kev was too, since I had my rabid lioness morning hair, my glasses, pajamas, and a squint on. I even got out of bed and grabbed some water. More than that, I even had a pleasant chat with him about the Wii tournament starting in his office today and how he better not bring shame on our family name by daring to lose. Why you ask? Because I won't see him for the rest of the day. Or the week.

No, neither one of us is traveling. Somehow, after our relaxing, wonderful, fantastical honeymoon-esque weekend we spent up north at the lake this weekend together, we came home and realized that our weekend is full of plans. Tonight, I'm going to book club and then to see a friend's band play late-night, while Kev stays home and rests up because it's a work night. Tomorrow night I have class and won't be home until 9. Thursday Kev has softball and won't be home until 9ish. The worst part of all of this is that while one of us is out, the other one will be home alone covered in cats. Oops.

I know that weeks like this happen all the time, but for us they usually happen during the school year while I'm working too. I also know that it's not a huge deal, that we will still see each other for a little bit on Wednesday and Thursday evening. There's just a small, irrational part of me that gets nervous when there are a lot of days in a row where we aren't spending any real time together. I used to be Ms. Independent, and now I'm Mrs. No, REALLY, how was your day? I think I get so antsy during weeks like this because it makes me scared that I'm going to miss something important in Kev's life, or that he's not going to "get" something I'm telling him because he wasn't there. I'm neurotic like that. In my heart, I know we're going to be fine, that it's not a huge deal, that it's healthy for us to be separately busy sometimes. In the back of my mind, though, is a little voice nagging at me to get find other moments to make up for it.

Why am I even bothered by this at all? What has happened to me? Has marriage really, *gasp* changed me?

Just a Little Different

I'll be honest, I've never been known to be a super-clean person. Our old place on Roscoe was a pit for a ton of reasons-me being super busy with work and school, the cats shedding profusely, parties that we threw and never really cleaned the way we should have after. The last month that we lived there was the worst-boxes, clothes to donate, and unopened mail everywhere. Kev and I were super busy that month too, trying to pack, going out more than we probably should have, studying like madmen for our finals.

The last few weeks at our new place have brought a big change both in Kev and my habits, and in our relationship as well. Kev has been sort of trying to put his laundry away, and I've been opening my mail as it comes. We've even both been putting daily time into tidying up, and after three weeks, our bedroom still has a floor that you can see. I'm kind of shocked. Since we now own this place, I think we have a greater incentive to keep it looking like a real house, rather than a place that college kids could happily call their own.

Being in the new place also seems to have brought Kev and I closer together. I'm not sure if it's because we've finally achieved a goal that took over so much of our time and sanity for so long, or if it's because we're just settling into married life. We're a little more open and honest about how we're feeling, and since we're pretty broke after the move, we're spending more time cooking or grilling out with friends instead of spending money at crowded bars and snooty restaurants. The tornado pace of the last year, and especially the last 6 months that we've both been in grad school has helped us to prioritize and make the most of the time that we do get to spend together.

This past weekend, Kev and I were talking about this past year, and all the madness that has passed. In one year we got married, started grad school, battled my RA, survived stress at work, and bought a house. Kev turned to me and said he hoped that things would slow down this year, but I somehow think that this is only the beginning.