-I have a headache spawned from work stresses, not booze.
-I'm thinking about going to bed at 9:45 to remedy this problem, rather than going out to a bar. Because again, it's some sort of strange sober headache.
-I am only on page 72 of a book I started a week ago.
-I've worn heels out to events without people calling me ahead of time demanding that I do so.
-I saw one of my second grade students wearing a neon comic-book print rain slicker with aviators and plaid pants. I told him he looked like Elton John. He responded "Who's that?"
-I just heard that New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys are touring together and performing mash-ups of their greatest hits. I squealed in delight while driving my Focus.
-I'm going to a wedding this week, which made me realize that if I am ever the head bridesmaid at a wedding, I will be known as the "Matron of Honor." Ew, ew, ew.
Somebody help me.