This weekend, Kev and I traveled with his family up to Minnesota for
his younger brother Bobby's graduation from college. His fabulous
girlfriend, Becca also graduated that day, and we spent all of Saturday
bopping around to parties and celebrating the end of one chapter in
their lives. Winona, Minnesota is a beautiful place in the springtime,
and I found it easy to be festive in the sunshine.
Some
people, on the other hand, weren't feeling so festive. What is it about
a college graduation that inspires people to say horrible things? Some
of the gems I overheard as people were "celebrating:"
So, do you have a job yet?
It's all downhill from here, buddy.
The real world sucks, it's definitely not the same.
I can't wait for you to start working so you can see what we all deal with.
College were the best years of my life, you're never going to have that much fun again.
Have all of your friends scattered yet? They will.
I'd
like to say that I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. Quite frankly,
this kind of negative talk irked me. Yes, moving on from college to the
next steps can be scary. For the first time, you are in charge of
starting your life. Yes, the economy sucks and these kids probably won't
get their dream jobs right out of school, but at the same time, there
are so many options to learn from out there, and things have a funny way
of working themselves out. I think you can tell a lot about a person
from the advice and commentary they give graduates.
I personally felt ecstatic for Bobby because I know that the best
is yet to come. I had an amazing time in college, but the years
following have been the best of my life. I reconnected with Kev, got
married, made amazing friends in Chicago, learned a new city, gained
independence, landed two jobs that made me extremely happy most days,
traveled, learned, read, and bought a house. Tried to manage money.
Bought my own wedding dress with money I earned with my own hard work.
Became a mother to two pesky hairballs. Watched my siblings grow. Grew
myself. Cried. Loved. Lost. Gained.
I think that anybody who says college were the best years of
their life probably is missing out on amazing opportunities in front of
them. I miss my college friends, as we've moved to different states and
drifted apart. I miss having instant access to my friends whenever I
wanted, and the freedom to organize my days as I saw fit. But I am much
prouder of the person I am now and the life I live then I was back then.
I may be a little more arthritic, and a little more outspoken, but I've
made a life for myself with my amazing husband that I'm proud to call
mine. I've made mistakes I've learned from, and some choices that I
would make again if given the chance. But they've all been mine.
I can't wait to watch more of my siblings become themselves in
this way. I can't wait to watch as they stumble, then walk, then run
towards the things they want in life. I can't wait to see where life
takes all of us, and I know the truth- after college, the best is yet to
come.
Were college your best years? What were some of your favorite years in life?
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
May Lessons
Two of the most important men in my life, my father and my husband,
share the same May birthday. They call it "Stud Day" and count George
Clooney and Albert Einstein among their members. Between the two of
them, these studs have taught me a lot about living.
My father teaches me to be confident.
My husband teaches me that people will love you for it.
My father teaches me the hilarious art of sarcasm.
My husband teaches me not to abuse it.
My father teaches me to take care of my health.
My husband teaches me it's never too late to re-vamp your routines.
My father teaches me to pursue a job I love, even if I won't get rich.
My husband teaches me the moderation necessary to live on my earnings.
My father teaches me that sometimes dreams take a long time to come true.
My husband teaches me to focus on today while I wait.
My father teaches me to take pride in being a smart girl.
My husband teaches me that smart girls are really the hottest ones.
My father teaches me that size and height don't matter.
My husband teaches me that people can make you feel taller than you really are.
My father teaches me to meet people where they are in life, even if they aren't ready to hear what you have to say.
My husband teaches me that sometimes, you just have to come out and say what you mean.
My father teaches me that family comes first.
My husband teaches me to take time for our little family, also.
My father teaches me that kindness and loyalty are how people remember you.
My husband teaches me to think before I speak.
My father and my husband are two amazing, powerful, and hilarious men; I'm beyond blessed to have them both in my life, and I'm thankful for them every single day. Celebrate on, you crazy studs.
My father teaches me to be confident.
My husband teaches me that people will love you for it.
My father teaches me the hilarious art of sarcasm.
My husband teaches me not to abuse it.
My father teaches me to take care of my health.
My husband teaches me it's never too late to re-vamp your routines.
My father teaches me to pursue a job I love, even if I won't get rich.
My husband teaches me the moderation necessary to live on my earnings.
My father teaches me that sometimes dreams take a long time to come true.
My husband teaches me to focus on today while I wait.
My father teaches me to take pride in being a smart girl.
My husband teaches me that smart girls are really the hottest ones.
My father teaches me that size and height don't matter.
My husband teaches me that people can make you feel taller than you really are.
My father teaches me to meet people where they are in life, even if they aren't ready to hear what you have to say.
My husband teaches me that sometimes, you just have to come out and say what you mean.
My father teaches me that family comes first.
My husband teaches me to take time for our little family, also.
My father teaches me that kindness and loyalty are how people remember you.
My husband teaches me to think before I speak.
My father and my husband are two amazing, powerful, and hilarious men; I'm beyond blessed to have them both in my life, and I'm thankful for them every single day. Celebrate on, you crazy studs.
Monday, February 6, 2012
On Being a Sister
I am an older sister to two younger brothers and a younger sister. They are all unique, amazing individuals in completely different ways. One is in law school, one is in nursing school, and one is a host of wacky things, including thrift store connoisseur and undergrad communications major, probably in that order. Growing up, our house was loud, chaotic, and often veered wildly between angelic and World War Three. My mom had four kids in seven years, and now that I'm an adult, I'm fairly certain she qualifies for sainthood.
As we got older, my siblings became really cool, popular people. They won high school yearbook superlatives. They developed sweet dance moves. They became retreat leaders, prom queens, marathoners, bartenders, and all-around likable people. As I matured, it was hard to not feel eclipsed by them. I count those humans among the most precious people in the world to me, and my life of working, dating, and reading books often seemed rather vanilla by comparison. I'm constantly in awe of their general awesomeness. I'm constantly challenged by their deep thoughts, and reduced to tears by their offbeat hilarity. As such, it is often hard not to feel like a geeky older sister.
While my sister and I often have deep talks about everything from the existence of God to how one can craft the perfect set of reinbeers for Christmas, my brothers are American males in their 20s, and therefore don't talk about their feelings much. Therefore, the following gchat conversation with P made my day today:
P:listening to ben folds while reading. reminds me of your old "on a bender" cd
a golden oldie
me:Such a good one... I still listen to that mix
P: hells yes
your "practicum tunes" were also very good
me
Haha amazing memory for my old mixes....I'm super impressed
P:yes after a few car rides i stole them both for an extended period
that was my first experience with that genre and those artists
that genre and those artists
it was pretty exciting
gonna get some groceries
farewell
me: So glad I could mold your mind
P: haha you paved the way of much of my thought and experience
i am forever grateful
me: Aww that comment just made my day :) love you little bro
While I'm fairly certain that telling my brother I love him and using an emoticon in a text chat will both insure that he isn't that open about his feelings for awhile, I am in awe of the fact that he was listening during all of those long car rides to and fron The University of Iowa. And I guess what I am most awestruck by is the fact that he was listening at all.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this conversation gives me hope. Hope that even when I'm not saying anything big, the ones I love are still watching and learning. That even when I mess up and act like a crabby jerk, these same people in my life know from a lifetime of watching me that it's just a blip in the radar. That some of the moments when I've felt farthest separate emotionally from the people I love, I still managed to reach through the barriers and connect anyway. That even if we seem different on the outside, my family and I are just going to get closer and stronger as we grow. Now, it seems, I'm the one listening to him
As we got older, my siblings became really cool, popular people. They won high school yearbook superlatives. They developed sweet dance moves. They became retreat leaders, prom queens, marathoners, bartenders, and all-around likable people. As I matured, it was hard to not feel eclipsed by them. I count those humans among the most precious people in the world to me, and my life of working, dating, and reading books often seemed rather vanilla by comparison. I'm constantly in awe of their general awesomeness. I'm constantly challenged by their deep thoughts, and reduced to tears by their offbeat hilarity. As such, it is often hard not to feel like a geeky older sister.
While my sister and I often have deep talks about everything from the existence of God to how one can craft the perfect set of reinbeers for Christmas, my brothers are American males in their 20s, and therefore don't talk about their feelings much. Therefore, the following gchat conversation with P made my day today:
P:listening to ben folds while reading. reminds me of your old "on a bender" cd
a golden oldie
me:Such a good one... I still listen to that mix
P: hells yes
your "practicum tunes" were also very good
me
Haha amazing memory for my old mixes....I'm super impressed
P:yes after a few car rides i stole them both for an extended period
that was my first experience with that genre and those artists
that genre and those artists
it was pretty exciting
gonna get some groceries
farewell
me: So glad I could mold your mind
P: haha you paved the way of much of my thought and experience
i am forever grateful
me: Aww that comment just made my day :) love you little bro
While I'm fairly certain that telling my brother I love him and using an emoticon in a text chat will both insure that he isn't that open about his feelings for awhile, I am in awe of the fact that he was listening during all of those long car rides to and fron The University of Iowa. And I guess what I am most awestruck by is the fact that he was listening at all.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this conversation gives me hope. Hope that even when I'm not saying anything big, the ones I love are still watching and learning. That even when I mess up and act like a crabby jerk, these same people in my life know from a lifetime of watching me that it's just a blip in the radar. That some of the moments when I've felt farthest separate emotionally from the people I love, I still managed to reach through the barriers and connect anyway. That even if we seem different on the outside, my family and I are just going to get closer and stronger as we grow. Now, it seems, I'm the one listening to him
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Daddy Daughter Date
One of the weird things about growing up is that you don't often get your family to yourself. One of the mixed blessings of having rheumatoid arthritis, is that if you play it right, you can fix that. Allow me to explain...
Kev and I have known each other since I was fourteen and he sixteen. As soon as he got his driver's license, he would drop by my house at odd times. Right after school. On weekends. 8:00 at night, it didn't matter. It wasn't too long before my parents just accepted him as a normal fixture in our home. When we started dating nine years later, it is entirely possible that he and I were the only two surprised by the outcome.
Now, after two and a half years of marriage, Kev is nearly always by my side when I spend time with my family. We live an hour south of them, and while we try to go home for major events, it's almost always accompanied by my siblings, grandparents, or cousins. While I love this, it makes it kind of rare for us to get some quality couple-to-couple time with my parents. Rarer still are the opportunities to spend time just with my mom or dad. Or just me and my parents. Etc, etc.
After my two year anniversary of my RA diagnosis, I began wheedling my dad into getting checked out by my arthritis doctor. My dad exhibits many of the same symptoms I do, and it seems to be getting worse with age. Finally, I convinced him to go. A few days later, he called me excitedly. "Colie," he gushed, "I got the appointment RIGHT AFTER YOURS for my follow-up! How cool is that?" At the time, I merely laughed. We would certainly be the two youngest people in the waiting room. Maybe we could even get a discount. BOGO? Twofer?
The appointment finally rolled around last night, and I have to admit it was pretty awesome. My dad and I got to hang out in the waiting room together, and catch up on life. My dad sat in on my appointment. As a pediatrician, it meant a lot to have him listen to what the doc was telling me, rather than regurgitating it to him on the phone days later. Afterwards, we went to dinner. We laughed, we joked. Just my daddy and me.
I've been a proud daddy's girl for most of my life. I'm so blessed to have him in my life, and today I find myself strangely grateful to my chronic pain disease for giving me the chance to get him all to myself. Just my daddy and me.
Kev and I have known each other since I was fourteen and he sixteen. As soon as he got his driver's license, he would drop by my house at odd times. Right after school. On weekends. 8:00 at night, it didn't matter. It wasn't too long before my parents just accepted him as a normal fixture in our home. When we started dating nine years later, it is entirely possible that he and I were the only two surprised by the outcome.
Now, after two and a half years of marriage, Kev is nearly always by my side when I spend time with my family. We live an hour south of them, and while we try to go home for major events, it's almost always accompanied by my siblings, grandparents, or cousins. While I love this, it makes it kind of rare for us to get some quality couple-to-couple time with my parents. Rarer still are the opportunities to spend time just with my mom or dad. Or just me and my parents. Etc, etc.
After my two year anniversary of my RA diagnosis, I began wheedling my dad into getting checked out by my arthritis doctor. My dad exhibits many of the same symptoms I do, and it seems to be getting worse with age. Finally, I convinced him to go. A few days later, he called me excitedly. "Colie," he gushed, "I got the appointment RIGHT AFTER YOURS for my follow-up! How cool is that?" At the time, I merely laughed. We would certainly be the two youngest people in the waiting room. Maybe we could even get a discount. BOGO? Twofer?
The appointment finally rolled around last night, and I have to admit it was pretty awesome. My dad and I got to hang out in the waiting room together, and catch up on life. My dad sat in on my appointment. As a pediatrician, it meant a lot to have him listen to what the doc was telling me, rather than regurgitating it to him on the phone days later. Afterwards, we went to dinner. We laughed, we joked. Just my daddy and me.
I've been a proud daddy's girl for most of my life. I'm so blessed to have him in my life, and today I find myself strangely grateful to my chronic pain disease for giving me the chance to get him all to myself. Just my daddy and me.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Here's to the Nerds
I did something really brave this week, people. I spent three days and two nights at outdoor education with the sixth graders from my school. I ate with them, shared bunk beds in a room with my (still very new to me) colleagues, and I didn't get to take the edge off with any alcohol either. Luckily, the weather was beautiful, and I realized how much I really do enjoy being out and about in a camping type environment.
Beautiful view looking East.
Same location, looking North and South. A true test of my ability to find zen in the midst of chaos.
Before I left, Kev told me he thought it was super strange that our school expects teachers to give up their lives for three days for an extremely (less than minimum wage) minimal extra duty stipend. He thought it was even stranger when I came home and told him that I had enjoyed myself.
My mom even called to check in and make sure I had survived. I told her that I had, and explained some of the quotes from kids that had made me laugh. Mom skipped a beat and then replied
"Colie, I thought you were insane when you left elementary teaching to willingly work at a junior high, but you know what? I think all your students, especially your super awkward nerdy ones, are so lucky to have you to appreciate your inner nerd. I think you are so good at it because you never really lost yours."
And you know what? She's right. I think this world would be a much better place if we all embraced our inner nerds. If we celebrated the weirdos, acknowledged the anti-grace of the klutz. I'm not really good at a lot of things. I have very little patience with myself and I don't like to work hard at things I'm not good at. I have a bad temper. I gossip.
But I'm really good at being different. I'm a fantastic nerd. And maybe, I can be okay with that if it helps an awkward kid at the most terrible stage of life start to see that they are okay too.
What "aha" moments have you gotten from your families? What geeky things do you love?
Beautiful view looking East.
Same location, looking North and South. A true test of my ability to find zen in the midst of chaos.
Before I left, Kev told me he thought it was super strange that our school expects teachers to give up their lives for three days for an extremely (less than minimum wage) minimal extra duty stipend. He thought it was even stranger when I came home and told him that I had enjoyed myself.
My mom even called to check in and make sure I had survived. I told her that I had, and explained some of the quotes from kids that had made me laugh. Mom skipped a beat and then replied
"Colie, I thought you were insane when you left elementary teaching to willingly work at a junior high, but you know what? I think all your students, especially your super awkward nerdy ones, are so lucky to have you to appreciate your inner nerd. I think you are so good at it because you never really lost yours."
And you know what? She's right. I think this world would be a much better place if we all embraced our inner nerds. If we celebrated the weirdos, acknowledged the anti-grace of the klutz. I'm not really good at a lot of things. I have very little patience with myself and I don't like to work hard at things I'm not good at. I have a bad temper. I gossip.
But I'm really good at being different. I'm a fantastic nerd. And maybe, I can be okay with that if it helps an awkward kid at the most terrible stage of life start to see that they are okay too.
What "aha" moments have you gotten from your families? What geeky things do you love?
Friday, August 12, 2011
Family Vacation
Let me tell you a little bit about my family. I am the oldest of four kids (spawned in seven years, no less). My parents are quirky, hilarious, and still happily in love after thirty years of marriage. My mom recently graduated from a three year masters' program in clinical nursing. Kev fits right in. We are pretty awesome.
To celebrate my mom's recent graduation, we headed up to my parents' lake house on a teensy lake in Wisconsin. Kev stayed for the first weekend, and I decided to stay a few extra days. Because, you know, I can. Go summer vacation. During this extended period of time with all of us in one place. I made the following observations.
Water trampolines are awesome.
To celebrate my mom's recent graduation, we headed up to my parents' lake house on a teensy lake in Wisconsin. Kev stayed for the first weekend, and I decided to stay a few extra days. Because, you know, I can. Go summer vacation. During this extended period of time with all of us in one place. I made the following observations.
I hope my dad catches the big one someday. His perseverance is amazing.
I love my weirdo family. Why must you all go back to schools far away when summer ends?
What are your favorite family vacation memories?
Do you regress around your family? Or are you still adults around them?
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Joys of Photography
Recently, we went to Vegas for our friends' wedding. They had an awesome, low key ceremony that was perfect for the two of them, and as a wedding gift, we borrowed one of Kev's coworkers' fancy shmancy camera so that we could commemorate their big day. Before taking the camera to the Vegas wedding, Kev, his dad, and I headed up to Minnesota to visit Kev's younger siblings at college. I spent an afternoon with the camera and I am now officially addicted. As previously mentioned, I'm trying to become more of a creative, artsy person, and I feel this may help. Unfortunately, the camera is way out of our price range, so I guess I'll just have to post wistfully about how awesome having it was, and then hope somebody reads this and takes pity on me. Preferably somebody with a generous heart, a softness for chatterboxes like myself, and lots of cold, hard cash.
I mean, this camera takes very relaxing pictures of tress:
It also takes pictures of delicious grapes at vineyards:
It can document snazzy fashion choices:
Best of all, it has a multi-frame feature which allows you to take multiple shots with a single push of the button. This option is especially helpful for archiving important moments in sporting events. For example, when Kev's dad out putted Kev in frisbee golf:
That last photo alone should be enough evidence. Have I convinced you that I need this yet?
I mean, this camera takes very relaxing pictures of tress:
It also takes pictures of delicious grapes at vineyards:
It can document snazzy fashion choices:
Best of all, it has a multi-frame feature which allows you to take multiple shots with a single push of the button. This option is especially helpful for archiving important moments in sporting events. For example, when Kev's dad out putted Kev in frisbee golf:
That last photo alone should be enough evidence. Have I convinced you that I need this yet?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Reuniting
Yesterday, I reunited with some people very dear to my heart, and as I stopped and thought about it, I realized they are related.
For starters, my lil' sister came home from studying in Chile for six months. I'm so proud of her for going somewhere off the beaten path, and also incredibly jealous. I've studied in Mexico and Costa Rica, and I'm also a travel junkie. I get antsy if I don't have a trip planned, and I have a life goal of seeing as much of the world as humanly possible. I have a collector's lust for amassing connections with people and unique experiences from as many different societies as possible. My sis traveled throughout South America during her time there, hitting Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, Uruguay (I think) and the northern desert and Patagonia regions of Chile. She spent the last three weeks of her trip backpacking the Inca trail, and met people from all over the world. While I'm happy for her, I'm also very selfishly jealous. I don't know when (or if) I'm going to get to embed myself in a culture the way that she did again.
As some of you know, I teach ELL at a school with students from many different walks of life. Most of the time I love my job, and I'm fascinated by the diverse set of students and teachers that I work with. I also get to use Spanish every day, something that makes me incredibly happy and allows me to connect with a wide array of parents and students. In fact, last night, after dinner with my sis, I stopped by a local bar and caught the tail end of a summer happy hour (gone way late) with my favorite friends from work.
While we were sitting at the bar, we all started talking about the fact that most of us are now tenured and in grad school. For teachers, this means that many of us have put on the "golden handcuffs"-we're moving up the pay scale, and may be pricing ourselves out of other jobs in other districts. In effect, we've consciously or unconsciously acknowledged the fact that we're all probably going to stay at our school for the foreseeable future. As we talked about this, we all realized we had something in common: none of us, when we took our jobs, thought that we'd stay at our school for more than a year. Not because there's anything WRONG with where we teach, but because we are all (like my sister) travel nuts. We figured we'd spend a year or two in our midwestern district, and then go back out into the world. Many of us considered taking jobs teaching English in foreign countries, and almost all of us have plans to visit another country for an extended summer trip in the near future.
Before I met Kev, conversations like these with my work pals would have sent me into a panic. Committing to a job? Cutting back on my months abroad? Buying a HOME instead of planning a trip? Now, while I might travel less, I have a partner in crime to explore with, whether it's different neighborhoods in my city or different countries on a trip we plan together that has meaning for both of us. While I might not be taking trips that reflect my own selfish goals, traveling with Kev leads us to go places and see sights that I may not have chosen, but that lead me to new and different thoughts. I've learned that part of growing up means expanding your vision of where your future will take you, instead of planning your life through the lens of your own vision.
For starters, my lil' sister came home from studying in Chile for six months. I'm so proud of her for going somewhere off the beaten path, and also incredibly jealous. I've studied in Mexico and Costa Rica, and I'm also a travel junkie. I get antsy if I don't have a trip planned, and I have a life goal of seeing as much of the world as humanly possible. I have a collector's lust for amassing connections with people and unique experiences from as many different societies as possible. My sis traveled throughout South America during her time there, hitting Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, Uruguay (I think) and the northern desert and Patagonia regions of Chile. She spent the last three weeks of her trip backpacking the Inca trail, and met people from all over the world. While I'm happy for her, I'm also very selfishly jealous. I don't know when (or if) I'm going to get to embed myself in a culture the way that she did again.
As some of you know, I teach ELL at a school with students from many different walks of life. Most of the time I love my job, and I'm fascinated by the diverse set of students and teachers that I work with. I also get to use Spanish every day, something that makes me incredibly happy and allows me to connect with a wide array of parents and students. In fact, last night, after dinner with my sis, I stopped by a local bar and caught the tail end of a summer happy hour (gone way late) with my favorite friends from work.
While we were sitting at the bar, we all started talking about the fact that most of us are now tenured and in grad school. For teachers, this means that many of us have put on the "golden handcuffs"-we're moving up the pay scale, and may be pricing ourselves out of other jobs in other districts. In effect, we've consciously or unconsciously acknowledged the fact that we're all probably going to stay at our school for the foreseeable future. As we talked about this, we all realized we had something in common: none of us, when we took our jobs, thought that we'd stay at our school for more than a year. Not because there's anything WRONG with where we teach, but because we are all (like my sister) travel nuts. We figured we'd spend a year or two in our midwestern district, and then go back out into the world. Many of us considered taking jobs teaching English in foreign countries, and almost all of us have plans to visit another country for an extended summer trip in the near future.
Before I met Kev, conversations like these with my work pals would have sent me into a panic. Committing to a job? Cutting back on my months abroad? Buying a HOME instead of planning a trip? Now, while I might travel less, I have a partner in crime to explore with, whether it's different neighborhoods in my city or different countries on a trip we plan together that has meaning for both of us. While I might not be taking trips that reflect my own selfish goals, traveling with Kev leads us to go places and see sights that I may not have chosen, but that lead me to new and different thoughts. I've learned that part of growing up means expanding your vision of where your future will take you, instead of planning your life through the lens of your own vision.
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