10 Things Thursday: Class Edition

I've been in a 9-5 one week, four credit-hour intensive class on emotional and behavioral disorders this week. Yes, that explains the silence over here. Yes, it is as terrible as it sounds. To make up for it,  here are ten observations from my time in class.

1) Someday when I'm pregnant, I'm just going to hide in an all natural vegan cave. There is a LOT of crap in the environment that can mess a kid up big time.

2) People will do anything for a reward. I, personally, will take an entire semester of coursework in one week to be rewarded with more free evenings over the total summer. Man, are people (me) fools or what?

3) Why is it so hard to find healthy food in a vending machine? And why can't there be a student fridge so that I can just bring my own darn food?

4) I drink way too much water. Consequently, I foten sit by the door so that I can dash out as needed. Super awkward.

5) Sitting for four hours straight between breaks does not make my rheumatoid arthritis happy. My knees were so stiff yesterday, I tried to get up and almost fell out of the chair. I feel like the freaking Tin Man. Awesome.

6) I have definite pen preferences. Most preferred: Clicky top smooth (ball) point. Next: cap top, smooth tip. Last: scratchy pens that make noise when you write. Hate those.

7) I've invented a new word. classhole: (def) a person who repeatedly moopolizes a class discussion with personal, often arbitrary or unrelated thoughts, ideas, arguements, or diatribes. sample sentence: Mary was a real classhole today when she spoke for 11 minutes straight about her son's journey with ADHD and how much she hates her son's school.

8) Mary is in my class. So are two of her classhole friends. Help. Me.

9) I really miss undergraduate classes' uniform policy. I wish I was wearing a hoodie and pajama pants right now, holding a cheese bagel and ogling hot guys in my class. Strangely enough, summer teacher education coursework doesn't usually draw the hotties. Go figure.

10) TGIT. Or, TGAF. One more day 'til freedom.

What would you rather be doing right now?

What do you wish was more socially acceptable to wear out in public?

Advice for Next Year

Last week, I had my junior high ELL students write some pieces of advice that will be handed on to my students next year. Here are some of the nuggets of wisdom I gleaned as I graded them today. I think they are pretty darn smart!

I had my students write advice letters to next year's kiddos. Quote from 7th grader DK "Never ever make Mrs. Gas angry. She is really a nice person, but when she is angry, she is scarier than your mom and dad put together."

Don’t give teachers lame excuses about your homework and just finish it. Actually, most of all I think that you should have fun in school. That’s my real advice.

If you are late, the teacher will mark you tardy. If you are tardy three times, you will have a detention after school where you can’t do your homework- you just sit and do nothing. So then you will have less time for your homework, and you will not finish it and you will stay up late trying to finish, so you will be late and then you will get another detention, and so you will be in the late/bad homework/detention cycle and you will never get out.

If you write your homework in your homework notebook, bad things will not happen to you.

When I saw some people studying while I was having fun, I felt pity for them- but I was wrong. I got a B- because of stupid time wasting.

It will make your life easier if you are honest. Lying will make things worse and eventually you will get caught lying.

One time, there was this pitiful guy who stole my money. He always deined it and never gave my money back. I was really angry and I was ready to take revenge, so while he was in the office, I took his shoes, backpack, wallet, MP3 and everything he owned and threw it in the dumpster. Later, I saw the garbage truck driving away and I smiled. Sweet payback is always acceptable.

I never realized doing things by myself was important. If I kept asking people for help, I would never learn anything by myself. Now I learn on my own and use my knowledge when I need it. I don’t depend on others.

I usually don’t challenge myself because it’s not fun, but I’ve learned that the beginnings of challenging yourself are always hard but there’s joy waiting for you right after you are done changing yourself. Challenges are bittersweet.

Sometimes people say really mean stuff to you and ignore you. Most people get their feelings hurt by it. Why? Why do you need to listen to people who insult you and ignore you? It just makes you unhappy. Be yourself and do what your heart says. Don’t listen to those ugly words. Listening to yourself makes you happier and lets you shine more. Be yourself!

Sometimes you forget things quicker than you would think.

If you really need something signed, ask your parents and never do it yourself, or else you will get in big trouble. It will also be a forgery which means you could go to jail.

Giving up is the worst thing you can do when you are in school. If you give up, you will feel like you don’t want to do your homework. So, never give up!

If you ever make Mrs. Gas cranky, watch your head.

Always tell your mom yes even if you won’t end up doing something.

Definitely don’t shove stuff under your bed. Are you really that lazy? Just throw it where it belongs.

Don’t get your teachers mad at you for something stupid that you could have finished in five minutes.

Try to raise your hand and answer some questions in class because if you won’t do it, your teacher will always tell you to answer the hardest questions.

When you have a big project or many things to do, think about summer break.

Spoils of Shopping

I love to shop. Always have. As a baby, my mom and grandma would take me shopping, and when I fell asleep they would just buy me pajamas and keep on going. However, I don't let myself near most major stores for fear of going overboard, so I frequently go on binges at my favorite store of all time...Target.

I talk about Target so often, in fact, that all I have to do is mention that I went shopping, or that I got something from the classroom, and a few teensy Mexican children will curiously ask "a Tar-git?" or "did you buy Target yesterday?" Let me tell you, the joys of kindergarten ESL teaching are many.

Back to Target. I talked my sweet, loving, adoring, devastatingly handsome husband into the necessity of a new ipod for me for the running season. Specifically, the new ipod nano with the handy teensy size and little clip to put on my shirt or pants while I run. I also pointed out that if i purchased said ipod at my favorite location of my favorite store, I would save 5% with my Target visa (I know, it's a sickness. They don't even pay me to write with this level of passion) and I would ALSO be in the suburbs, just avoiding the obscene Cook county taxes. Double win. So I came home with this....

(Please excuse the blurries. I was trying to take the photo with my phone. Plus, the blurries hide my hideously swollen hands. I haven't been being very nice to my arthritis lately, and it shows. Thank you for putting up with my semi-intentional terrible photography so you can see my new toy.)

Now, this is freaking sweet. Seriously freaking freaking sweet. I cannot wait to go on my very first run of the running season tomorrow with this bad boy. BUT THEN...the day got better. I happened to stop by the clearance rack to see if there were any fabulous pieces of clothing. (Kev, remember how much you loooooove me? and how you ENCOURAGED me to go to Target??? I do) Behold....a cute teacher dress!

Covers the goodie bits, cute color, slight style, long skirt so I can sit on the floor with my peanuts- this dress needed to be purchased. And, wait for it.....IT ONLY COST $5.05. YES! YES! YES! A win for everybody. A five dollar dress....and a 5 dollar times a billion ipod. Rock on.

Dante even likes it.

Triple win.

Epiphany

I'm really good at to-do lists, as you can tell. I really, really like to color code them, and I spend some time each Monday making lists for the week. My problem, as you can see, is follow through. Again, I refer you to the picture above. I have crossed off only a few items, and it's shameful.

I bring this up because I was walking by a student of mine this afternoon while he was working with a specialist in the afternoon. As I passed, the student was wrapping his teensy fingers around another child's throat. Instantly, both his teaching assistant and I responded.

"J, say you are sorry. Make sure you tell the other person what you are sorry for. Remember, sorry means you are going to try your best not to make that mistake anymore."

Later...

"J, you can make better choices than that. I know you are upset about your punishment, but you chose that by the way you acted."

I sound GREAT when I am dishing out redirection to my students. Harder, is taking my own advice. So, here you go.

I am sorry for not completing the things on my to do list in a timely manner. I will try harder to use my time more productively. I am sorry to myself for making choices that stress me out because of how much I have to do, or lead me to neglect the many important relationships in my life in favor of things that are silly.

My epiphany today was a pretty big one. If I treated myself the way I treat my students, I'd dole out some tough love that would inspire change. If I followed my own advice, I'd be able to focus and take my time to do things the right way because I wouldn't constantly be rushing. I'd be able to use my time in more meaningful ways, whether it be spending time with friends and family or crossing items off my to do list. I am going to try harder to be the kind of person who really follows through. Hopefully, this public declaration will help.

I guess I'm pretty smart after all.....

Nerd Couple

I am beyond excited. Today Kev has an appointment with his academic adviser to register for his classes for grad school. He's in a great program that's going to get him closer to his life's goals, this degree will eventually provide him with the means to move higher in his career, and he generally likes school, much as he would hate for his high school friends to call him out on it.

While I'm happy for him for all of these reasons, a part of me (I won't say how big) also can't wait to have some sympathy- he'll now know exactly how gross it is to go to class twice a week after working all day. Instead of teasing me about procrastinating my homework, he'll have to do homework too. Sweet revenge for the last four months is coming soon, and I am ecstatic.

I realize this is a less than flattering announcement, but I don't care. I'm just being honest. I realize in all likelihood he will be more gracious and productive during his grad school years than I am, and that's okay. I'm willing to be the smaller person, and admit it. Despite being a teacher, I really still do think that homework sucks. Hurray for being a pair of nerds.