Thursday, May 28, 2009

Things that Last

We’re 38 days away from the wedding and the last minute bills are starting to pile in, particularly ring buying and finishing the payment for the photographer. While I started to hyperventilate about the amount of money we are going to spend on those things this weekend, Kev patiently reminded me that we knew all along we wanted to upgrade these things, since after the day is over, these are the things that we’ll still have to remind us of the promises we’re making to each other.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my aunt, who is forty, exactly between my mom and I in age, and a generally fabulous person to talk to about everything. I was telling her about the cooking Kev and I do at home, and how our date nights have gradually shifted from big events out to making a ridiculously big meal with our cell phones and screens turned off. My aunt commented that she thinks it’s important we build traditions that center around being at home, since those are the things that will last throughout building a family (someday) and the various shifts in our lives. Now that she has her young children, she says that she and her husband are trying harder to make date nights things they can do at home, to make sure they continue.

Since that discussion, and while pondering the mere month between now and the very lasting commitment we are about to make, I’ve been thinking about the routines we used to have and the current rhythms that our lives have been taking. I can’t help but wonder if we are choosing home centered dates because we are appreciating the time we do have together more, or if we are so exhausted from the whirlwind that has become our shared life the last few months that we just need to flop. I think part of marrying somebody is being ready to say that you want that person to be a part of all your traditions, and that you want to build new patterns of being into your shared life. I’ve heard it said that many people get so focused on the wedding that they forget the marriage, and while I don’t see that being Kev and I, I do wonder how things will change after the wedding. As Kev discussed in the last post, we’ve gone from dating, to living together, to marriage, and while the core of what we are together has stayed the same, there have been changes along the way to the ways we choose to spend our time, or the things we find ourselves talking about. Through it all, I continue to be fascinated by him, and excited about our life.

Last night, one of our good friends asked us if he could still come over and hang out after we are still married. We’ve lived together now for almost a year, and honestly, while I know marriage is going to bind us together and hold us accountable to each other for the rest of our lives, it made me a little sad to think that our friends are worried about us changing post-wedding. I tend to think that marriage is going to increase the number of best parts about my life, and help us to keep our day to day lives in sharper focus-friends included. I’m hoping to keep all the things I love about my life the same, while having a fantastic partner in crime to experience it all with. Change is good, but I hope my life doesn’t become unrecognizable after the wedding, since I feel I already have great days most of the time. I hoe I come back to this post after we’ve been married for years and laugh at the worries I’m writing. I guess I’ll just have to let you know when I get there, though.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Marry Someone You Like

"Kevin, marry someone you like."

That's the advice I got from a very funny coworker today. The funny thing is, the more I thought about it, the more it really made a lot of sense.

I don't understand how people can marry someone after just a few weeks or months of knowing that person. I know that it does happen for some, and it just works for them - but it blows my mind. Those first few months of dating someone are so different than those next few months and years. The first few months are just constantly exciting, learning things about the other person, experiencing old and common things together for the first time.

Everyone's experienced that, and everyone's seen how time and comfort makes those things change. How that change happens, and how the two people respond, is what will shape that relationship. People will either grow tired or bored of the person, or they'll constantly find new things about the person that draws them in closer.

Colie and I have experienced them both over the course of knowing one another. After "semi-dating" in High School, to being friends in High School, to only talking occasionally in college, to dating, to living together, to being engaged. That's a lot of LIFE covered there!

That's why I really get the "marry someone you like" idea. We've been through everything together, and I'm still amazed at just how much fun we have together. All the quirks we each have, and how there are some that the other person just has gotten used to, such as:
  • I say, "Can you close the light?" when I'm asking someone to turn the light off. I got it from my dad, and yes I know it makes no sense. Colie used to literally stop and just stare at me, but now she'll just crack a smile while thinking, "there is NO way our kids will pick this up from him."
  • If we're watching someone on TV past 9 PM, Colie will fall asleep. Not a deep sleep, but that fading-in-and-out sleep that means she'll wake up at the slightest noise or touch. She can fall asleep during a Blackhawks' Playoff game...while we're currently talking! My grandpa's the only other person I know that can pull that off!
We've known each other for over 10 years, and Colie's still the person I like spending time with the most.

We're off to the Hawks' game tonight, and desperately need to hear a lot of this:

Also...Detroit Sucks.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Internet-less-ness...Week 2

So we've been without internet in the Apartment now for 2 weeks. Comcast has what's known in the business world as TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Hopefully it will be back on tonight, so Colie and I can start blogging much more frequently.

Also, with less than 7 weeks until the wedding, all I can say is....PLEASE GET HERE!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

My Other Loves

The past few days, I’ve been rather stressed out. Others can tell because my shoulders are so hunched that they appear to the casual observer to be earrings, rather than body parts. During times like these, I feel it helps to remember the things I adore in life, besides the obvious. I’m dedicating this post to some of the things that keep me sane in life.

Hockey- The Blackhawks and their young, quick team are in the Western Conference finals, ready to take on the Detroit Redwings. Although the game schedule poses a serious conflict with my wedding shower on Sunday, I intend to invest a LOT of time watching this series. The speed, the hits, the goals, the fast pace- I love hockey. On a less grandiose scale, the Friar Puck floor hockey team is quickly moving into championship position, and I have the bruises to show for it.

Reading-I am quickly accumulating an amazing stack of to be read books, and am always on the lookout for more. Kevin and I are planning a day specifically devoted to shopping for honeymoon books, and when summer comes, I plan to spend some major time next to the lake, completely absorbed.

UPS Package Tracker-I think this is one of the most amazing inventions ever. I bought a book for book club online, and within a day, I had a tracking number. A few weeks ago, I tracked my running shoes as they came from California to Chicago, with stops in between. Every time I buy something online, I obsessively track its progress to my stoop. Way to go, UPS.

Running- I love running, which is funny because I’m really not into participating in most athletics (except for floor hockey, above). I’m currently training for the Rock N Roll Half Marathon, obsessed with running blogs (yay, Maria), and praying that the weather starts cooperating so I can get more running in. Next weekend, I’m running the Soldier Field 10 mile, and I’m a bit nervous because all of the wedding/work madness is really keeping me from logging as many miles as I had hoped. Which brings me to my last love of the day…

Countdowns- I have 18 school days left until summer break. Summer will mean running, reading, and more time for all of the things I adore, and less wedding stress. The wedding is in 50 days and I can’t imagine how fast this last little bit of time will fly.