That's the advice I got from a very funny coworker today. The funny thing is, the more I thought about it, the more it really made a lot of sense.
I don't understand how people can marry someone after just a few weeks or months of knowing that person. I know that it does happen for some, and it just works for them - but it blows my mind. Those first few months of dating someone are so different than those next few months and years. The first few months are just constantly exciting, learning things about the other person, experiencing old and common things together for the first time.
Everyone's experienced that, and everyone's seen how time and comfort makes those things change. How that change happens, and how the two people respond, is what will shape that relationship. People will either grow tired or bored of the person, or they'll constantly find new things about the person that draws them in closer.
Colie and I have experienced them both over the course of knowing one another. After "semi-dating" in High School, to being friends in High School, to only talking occasionally in college, to dating, to living together, to being engaged. That's a lot of LIFE covered there!
That's why I really get the "marry someone you like" idea. We've been through everything together, and I'm still amazed at just how much fun we have together. All the quirks we each have, and how there are some that the other person just has gotten used to, such as:
- I say, "Can you close the light?" when I'm asking someone to turn the light off. I got it from my dad, and yes I know it makes no sense. Colie used to literally stop and just stare at me, but now she'll just crack a smile while thinking, "there is NO way our kids will pick this up from him."
- If we're watching someone on TV past 9 PM, Colie will fall asleep. Not a deep sleep, but that fading-in-and-out sleep that means she'll wake up at the slightest noise or touch. She can fall asleep during a Blackhawks' Playoff game...while we're currently talking! My grandpa's the only other person I know that can pull that off!
We're off to the Hawks' game tonight, and desperately need to hear a lot of this:
Also...Detroit Sucks.
This is a great post, and as someone who's now married to the person she's been with for 8 years straight, I can tell you it's absolutely true. We went from casually hanging out to messing around to dating to being exclusive to being engaged and then married. Along the way, we've moved to 2 different cities together, gotten a dog, bought a house, changed jobs, and experienced a whole lot of LIFE, as you put. And I wouldn't change that. Some people asked why it took is 6 1/2 years to get married, but we weren't in a hurry, we wanted to take it all in.
ReplyDeleteSo good for you, and Colie's right, "Close the light" is strange.
Best marriage advice we ever received? Flight attendant told us on the day after we got engaged to "always fight naked." Love it.