I've always known that I was an awkward person. When I was in junior high, I once lamented to my mom that I wasn't cool or popular. Sternly, she said me down and said, "Nicole, your father isn't cool. I'm not cool. Chances are, you won't be cool either. Challenge yourself to be something else instead." True story, and words to live by.
But this post isn't about heartwarming memories with mom. It's about the fact that the older I get, the more awkward I realize I really am. I find myself constantly saying "shouldn't I know this by now?" or "really, this still happens when you are 27?"
The big issue I have with myself these days is eye contact. I've realized that I'm really not very good at maintaining eye contact with others. I'm noticing it the most at work. I'm not sure if it is because I am in a new building where I don't know people well yet and I'm still jockeying to figure out my niche, or if it's because I spend most of my time teaching my awkward posse in a fairly secluded basement room, but I've realized that I often don't make or keep eye contact with my colleagues. Today, for example, I met with the Assistant Principal and a Special Ed teacher, both of whom I have spent time with socially and feel fairly comfortable with, to translate a conference call to a Spanish-speaking parent. I spent the whole conversation swiveling between forcing myself to look at the two lovely ladies, and swiveling to thoughtfully address my Spanish comments to the phone. Awk-ward.
In hallways, or meetings also, I feel like I'm really bad about looking at the people talking to me. I'm not sure if it is that I feel uncomfortable because I don't know them well, or if I feel like my glasses (which I've been sporting recently) are a shield or what, but I'm turning into a bit of a spaz.
Why is it that we find it so awkward to look people in the eyes? Are eyes really the mirror to the soul? Am I shyer than I previously thought? How do you force yourself to look at the people who are talking to you? I call my kids out on it constantly, but I can't seem to do it myself. I don't want to be the weird shifty-eyed girl at work. HELP.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Social Justice
First of all- thanks to all you friendlies out there who talked to me about last week's depression post. Honestly, there are a few reasons I write this blog. One of them being that it's cheaper than therapy. Often, I start writing about things that I need to think out for myself, and voila the answer works itself out.
Today was one of those rare days where I attended a professional development workshop and I walked away dazzled. I participated in an amazing workshop for ELL teachers given by a woman who has been in the business since 1974. She was energetic. She was passionate. She was real. I want to carry her around in my pocket all the time. So many of the things she said resonated with me, and she delivered her thoughts with so much love.
One thing stood out to me in particular. Dr. Guzman said that you can't be an ELL teacher without the hunger for social justice for your students. She noted that part of our job is to make sure that our students are enveloped in and protected by the great laws that the United States has for our ELL students. She said that we can't just be satisfied by giving them a good education- that we must work every day to make sure they have an equal opportunity for success, for social participation, and for the opportunity to help enrich and open their native English speaking peers' minds.
Yes, I thought this is why I teach.
Then, I took this concept back to my own life. Although I feel I've gotten myself out of my recent funk, I know I can slip back easily. Even though I have more than I ever thought possible for myself in my life, I'm hot tempered. I'm jealous. I can get whiny. I'm stubborn. I think it comes with the territory of being intelligent, passionate, and opinionated. In short, I'm a lot to handle. But if I really want to find peace within myself, I need to make sure that I am treating myself with justice. Because a lot has been given to me, a lot is expected of me, as the saying goes. I need to pour my energy more into working for others, into making things better and not worse, and to focus on all of the things I do have, and suddenly all this popularity and has vs have not bullshit will fall by the wayside. I also need to be fair to myself- I need to know when I need to give myself a break, and I need to give it. I know when I need to give my friends a break, too, and I need to give that as well. If you want peace, Nicole, you need to start working harder at justice.
Who would have thought the time I spent writing sub plans yesterday would have turned out to be so, so worth it?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Here Comes August
Today is August 1st, people. If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I am a teacher. You also know that I had a very rough year at my old school, that ended in me taking on a new position. Next year, I'm going from teaching sheltered English Kindergarten to junior high ELL. The two work environments so far seem to be completely different from one another, and honestly, that might be just what my career needs right now. A fresh start, a new challenge, new friends and frenemies at work.
The arrival of August usually inspires a mix of dread and hope in my teacher friends and I. After six weeks of relaxation, occasional babysitting, drinking more than usual, and spending way too much money, I'm growing excited for the routine that the school year brings to my life. I'm looking forward to the challenges and mental puzzles that come with learning a new curriculum, and I can't wait to get to know and love my new students. And yet, August also makes me feel a little nostalgic. Another summer is winding down. I should have read more books, done more photographing, spent less time on pinterest (let me know if you want an invite). I should have blogged more, spent more time with my grandparents. Ran more. Drank less. The list goes on.
Teaching is one of the few jobs that comes with its own New Year, separate from the calendar. Each August, we go back into our classrooms with new resolutions, new ideas. We vow to be more patient, less gossipy. More focused, less stressed. Give more feedback, give fewer sarcastic remarks. We, as teachers, want to develop systems for ourselves that really work, that allow us to work smarter, so that we can juggle the balance between teaching and being part of our own families. All of these resolutions brew all summer, and then really start in August.
If you are a teacher, what are your new year's resolutions? If you are a parent or friend of a teacher/student, what do you think my resolutions should be this year?
Happy August!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Graduations
Last week was my last day of grad school. Today was kindergarten graduation for my sprouts. Things are changing and coming to an end, and to be honest, I've been in such a swirl of last minute to-do lists, that I haven't really had time to sit down and reflect.
This morning, I got to watch my kiddos onstage. It was the first time that we had tried to do a music show and graduation with ALL the kindergarteners, and I have to say, they were fantastic. They came dressed up, gelled down, and extra-obedient. Some of my rowdy kiddos were downright solemn. It was nearly miraculous. After the ceremony, my toughest student today sidled up to me. This was a boy that cut people with scissors, had problems nearly everywhere he went, and made me want to cry on more than one occasion. But then, he stopped me in my tracks today for something good. He gave me this:
Something about the bamboo heart, from a boy who just yesterday had drawn a monster in his kindergarten memory book when asked to draw a picture of me (little hilarious jerk) made me pause. To me, it meant that deep down even if he couldn't say it, he wanted me to know he cares. He loves me. He even picked it out for me all by himself.
This year was a hard year in lots of ways for me. I fought some battles, won some, lost some. I chose to move on from a group of people that love and support me, knowing something better had to be out there. I hit rock bottom and came back up. But I also got straight As in grad school, taught my kiddos to read and write, learned to find wells of strength and dignity I didn't know I possessed, and was shown how many people believe in me and in what I do for students.
With one action today, my rowdy punk changed the way I'll remember him. I'm not going to remember the times he sneezed on me, or kicked other students, or looked at me and said "no, I'm not doing that." Instead, he'll be the boy with the bamboo, who reminded me that the kids who need the most patience from you are often the ones that you end up making the biggest impact on.
I hope as I "graduate" my current school, that people remember me similarly. I know I demanded a lot of patience from people at times, just as I gave infinite amounts to the naysayers at my school. When it comes right down to it, however, I hope people remember me as somebody with a big heart.
Maybe graduation isn't just for kindergarteners after all :)
This morning, I got to watch my kiddos onstage. It was the first time that we had tried to do a music show and graduation with ALL the kindergarteners, and I have to say, they were fantastic. They came dressed up, gelled down, and extra-obedient. Some of my rowdy kiddos were downright solemn. It was nearly miraculous. After the ceremony, my toughest student today sidled up to me. This was a boy that cut people with scissors, had problems nearly everywhere he went, and made me want to cry on more than one occasion. But then, he stopped me in my tracks today for something good. He gave me this:
Something about the bamboo heart, from a boy who just yesterday had drawn a monster in his kindergarten memory book when asked to draw a picture of me (little hilarious jerk) made me pause. To me, it meant that deep down even if he couldn't say it, he wanted me to know he cares. He loves me. He even picked it out for me all by himself.
This year was a hard year in lots of ways for me. I fought some battles, won some, lost some. I chose to move on from a group of people that love and support me, knowing something better had to be out there. I hit rock bottom and came back up. But I also got straight As in grad school, taught my kiddos to read and write, learned to find wells of strength and dignity I didn't know I possessed, and was shown how many people believe in me and in what I do for students.
With one action today, my rowdy punk changed the way I'll remember him. I'm not going to remember the times he sneezed on me, or kicked other students, or looked at me and said "no, I'm not doing that." Instead, he'll be the boy with the bamboo, who reminded me that the kids who need the most patience from you are often the ones that you end up making the biggest impact on.
I hope as I "graduate" my current school, that people remember me similarly. I know I demanded a lot of patience from people at times, just as I gave infinite amounts to the naysayers at my school. When it comes right down to it, however, I hope people remember me as somebody with a big heart.
Maybe graduation isn't just for kindergarteners after all :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Sweat Lessons
Today was a brutal day. Things were awful at work, and I came out in tears over a committee meeting in which things somehow went terribly wrong. I firmly believe that the worst feeling in the world is discussing a problem with people, and seeing a solution that would work, but being so flustered by the emotions of the situation that you can't really get your words out to help the situation. That's exactly what happened to me today and it was rad. Not.
Thankfully, I had registered for an hour long weight lifting circuit class with a dear friend who always gives me perspective. What I love about this class is that it moves quickly and has a lot of variety, so that the hour flies by. I also love that it leaves me sore the next day. I'm sort of a masochist when it comes to my workouts. If I'm not sore the next day, the whole workout seems a waste. Maybe that's why I run.
Anyways, I've had one foot off the workout and healthy living wagon for a while now, and some pounds I lost have slowly been finding me. My head was cloudy while the instructor was explaining the circuits, and I was a little sloppy. It was also an instructor I hadn't experienced before, and he was a bit stern. While it's too early to tell if I'll be sore tomorrow, I will say that being taught by somebody I didn't know at all who was none too kind left me with some lasting lessons that I would like to share with you all today. Namely:
1) If you really pay attention the first time, you will be shamed much less frequently later on when you have forgotten all the things that you were pretending to listen to earlier. Feigning interest does not actually mean you have absorbed the information you should have. And man, that makes me feel like an ass when that happens.
2) It really is true that when teaching somebody something new, your praise for them should outweigh your criticism. By the end of the lesson I was seriously craving some positive reinforcement. I was definitely the elephant in the room today, and I grew to dread each time the instructor walked by. My butt was too high while holding my plank pose, then it was too low. My feet were farther than shoulder width apart. Our "active rest" station was really a plank station in disguise. The resting should last one to two seconds max. Ack. I definitely need to remember to give my kids more love. It sucks when you try to do something new, and nobody sees how hard you are trying. Lesson learned, kindergarteners. I'm going to praise your pants off tomorrow.
3) It is a much better idea to maintain being in good shape than to take three weeks off due to bronchitis, then a cough, then remembering how much coughing sucked last week. Take it from me, people.
4) A good workout can make a bad day go away.
TGTIF people.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
First Comes Love, Then Comes?
One of my co workers recently had a baby, a beautiful little girl with a head full of hair and some chubby cheeks. Her husband is also a teacher in our school district, and together they sent a video to their students of them with the baby. It was the cutest. I happened to be in the room when the video was played, picking up first grade students for their ELL time. Walking back to our classroom after watching the video, the following discussion was had between students I, E, and myself.
I: Mrs. Gas, do you have a baby?
Me: No babies, just you guys.
I: Not US! You need a baby that you can keep in your house.
Me: Someday I will, but not today.
I: You are too skinny to have a baby. Your baby will be too small if you have it right now. (Note: I am NOT pregnant. I am also not making this conversation up.)
E: You need to eat a lot with your husband to get a baby.
I: Yeah. Eat together. Do the eating. Do it in the kitchen. Do it in your bed. Do it in the bathroom maybe. My mom does it all the time. That's why we have lots of babies.
E: Then, you need to bring the baby to us after you get super fat and it jumps out. We can play with it for you.
It's good to know my unborn children are in such good hands.
I: Mrs. Gas, do you have a baby?
Me: No babies, just you guys.
I: Not US! You need a baby that you can keep in your house.
Me: Someday I will, but not today.
I: You are too skinny to have a baby. Your baby will be too small if you have it right now. (Note: I am NOT pregnant. I am also not making this conversation up.)
E: You need to eat a lot with your husband to get a baby.
I: Yeah. Eat together. Do the eating. Do it in the kitchen. Do it in your bed. Do it in the bathroom maybe. My mom does it all the time. That's why we have lots of babies.
E: Then, you need to bring the baby to us after you get super fat and it jumps out. We can play with it for you.
It's good to know my unborn children are in such good hands.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My Morning Warm Up
As I alluded to yesterday, I'm not the greatest morning person. In fact, I hate mornings. My brain needs until about 10 am to wake up- which is a major buzz kill when you are a teacher and have to be "on" as soon as the kids walk in. To help my brain wake up, I've had a very similar routine for the past four years upon arrival to my classroom that I thought I'd share.
The first thing I do when I walk in the door is to do a quick temperature check. My room is used after school by the homework club, and has a fire door that leads to the outside. Because of this, my room is often freezing or boiling, depending upon the whims of the teachers using the room or how many people have snuck in and out of my door to avoid being caught by our principal.
Next, I fill my gigantic water bottle. As a result of my Game On! diet days, I have become extremely concerned with making sure I get 100 ounces of water over the course of the day. My "suitcase of water" as my friends on staff have dubbed it, is a giant hot pink water bottle with a straw from Target that holds 50 ounces, which I try to drink over the course of a school day.
After that, I go for some brain candy and skim the headlines of People.com I'm a sucker for anything royal wedding related, or related to the gals from Teen Mom. I also have a strange love for the Kardashians and Bethenny from Real Housewives of something. Don't know why. Can't explain it. But somehow, this morning dose of brain candy helps me to get my ideas flowing and my mind in order.
Following my brain candy, I go to swagbucks.com. This site is totally rad. For doing simple searches, they reward you randomly with "swagbucks" totally FREE dollars that you can spend on different things. Although my heart belongs to google for searching, I try to do a few searches a day on this site to earn my bucks. Typically I earn one buck a day for voting in the daily poll, one buck a day for checking the surveys, and a few for searching. I tend to save mine for $5 Amazon gift cards or for free magazine subscriptions. Score!
All of this takes about ten minutes. The rest of my morning (typically about an hour before the students arrive) is spent in a frenzy of coping morning routine or assignment papers:
and trying to find my happy place. If it's a Friday, we have a staff provided breakfast in the lounge, where I go try to get a few minutes of grown up time in before the kiddos come. If I have extra time, I'll browse a blog or two on my Google reader before the kiddos come in. (Let me know if you want to know what I'm reading on the interwebs.) It's funny, but having the routine I do lets my body go on autopilot for a few extra minutes while my mind wakes up. Often, I find myself subconsciously brainstorming activities and tweaking the plans I've made to get things done.
Am I weird? What websites do you visit first thing? What routines at work could you not function without?
The first thing I do when I walk in the door is to do a quick temperature check. My room is used after school by the homework club, and has a fire door that leads to the outside. Because of this, my room is often freezing or boiling, depending upon the whims of the teachers using the room or how many people have snuck in and out of my door to avoid being caught by our principal.
Next, I fill my gigantic water bottle. As a result of my Game On! diet days, I have become extremely concerned with making sure I get 100 ounces of water over the course of the day. My "suitcase of water" as my friends on staff have dubbed it, is a giant hot pink water bottle with a straw from Target that holds 50 ounces, which I try to drink over the course of a school day.
After that, I go for some brain candy and skim the headlines of People.com I'm a sucker for anything royal wedding related, or related to the gals from Teen Mom. I also have a strange love for the Kardashians and Bethenny from Real Housewives of something. Don't know why. Can't explain it. But somehow, this morning dose of brain candy helps me to get my ideas flowing and my mind in order.
Following my brain candy, I go to swagbucks.com. This site is totally rad. For doing simple searches, they reward you randomly with "swagbucks" totally FREE dollars that you can spend on different things. Although my heart belongs to google for searching, I try to do a few searches a day on this site to earn my bucks. Typically I earn one buck a day for voting in the daily poll, one buck a day for checking the surveys, and a few for searching. I tend to save mine for $5 Amazon gift cards or for free magazine subscriptions. Score!
All of this takes about ten minutes. The rest of my morning (typically about an hour before the students arrive) is spent in a frenzy of coping morning routine or assignment papers:
and trying to find my happy place. If it's a Friday, we have a staff provided breakfast in the lounge, where I go try to get a few minutes of grown up time in before the kiddos come. If I have extra time, I'll browse a blog or two on my Google reader before the kiddos come in. (Let me know if you want to know what I'm reading on the interwebs.) It's funny, but having the routine I do lets my body go on autopilot for a few extra minutes while my mind wakes up. Often, I find myself subconsciously brainstorming activities and tweaking the plans I've made to get things done.
Am I weird? What websites do you visit first thing? What routines at work could you not function without?
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Crazy Jobs
The talk of my crazy job today is the weather. Because Chicago is about to be hit with a crazy thundersnow of epic blizzarding proportions, school has already been canceled for tomorrow. Although we're not announcing it to the kiddos until closer to the end of the day, murmurs are afoot. I, for one, am just plain excited. Sure, this cancellation means that we'll have to make up a day at the end of the year, but right now is a miserable time to be at school, what with the darkness in the morning, the looming pressures of high stakes testing, and drama going on about job placement next year, so I'm happy to stay home in my robe reading books, catching up on homework, working out, and generally lounging.
This morning I was so excited about the snow that I bounded out of bed, which is a rather strange occurrence for a confirmed morning crabass like myself. Even more strangely, Kev was up and chatty at the same time, and we started talking a little bit about the many differences between our jobs. Kev noted that his bosses know that he takes the Metra to work, and that they would probably expect him to come in tomorrow regardless of weather. I voted that he lobby hard to "work from home."
I'm fascinated by people that can work from home, or people that have different jobs than mine. My favorite thing to do is to ask people about their jobs, which my husband and friends think is a terribly odd trait. However, it's a good reminder for me that not everyone's jobs come with the perks of snow days and summers off, but are also not full of whining kids and administrators who play favorites. Besides, if I didn't ask, I would have never found out about my friend who is a physician assistant. Her whole job is to assist with robot performed surgeries. Basically, she moves internal organs out of the way while a doctor uses a nintendo-like remote to guide a robot to perform precise surgeries.
That's freaking awesome.
So, moral of the story, I hope you remember today to try and find ways to value the positives of your job more than the negative, and to appreciate the people in your life who are unsung heroes in their jobs. This unsung hero will be home tomorrow, using her snow day to count the many reasons she loves her job. Happy Tuesday!
This morning I was so excited about the snow that I bounded out of bed, which is a rather strange occurrence for a confirmed morning crabass like myself. Even more strangely, Kev was up and chatty at the same time, and we started talking a little bit about the many differences between our jobs. Kev noted that his bosses know that he takes the Metra to work, and that they would probably expect him to come in tomorrow regardless of weather. I voted that he lobby hard to "work from home."
I'm fascinated by people that can work from home, or people that have different jobs than mine. My favorite thing to do is to ask people about their jobs, which my husband and friends think is a terribly odd trait. However, it's a good reminder for me that not everyone's jobs come with the perks of snow days and summers off, but are also not full of whining kids and administrators who play favorites. Besides, if I didn't ask, I would have never found out about my friend who is a physician assistant. Her whole job is to assist with robot performed surgeries. Basically, she moves internal organs out of the way while a doctor uses a nintendo-like remote to guide a robot to perform precise surgeries.
That's freaking awesome.
So, moral of the story, I hope you remember today to try and find ways to value the positives of your job more than the negative, and to appreciate the people in your life who are unsung heroes in their jobs. This unsung hero will be home tomorrow, using her snow day to count the many reasons she loves her job. Happy Tuesday!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Confession
I'm pretty sure that I'm going to hell....because of mixed nuts.
Let me explain.
Two years ago, our school piloted being a peanut free school. This meant no staff or students were permitted to bring any peanuts, tree nuts, or products with peanuts or tree nuts (like many granola bars) to school. We were told to abstain in order to protect the kids in our building who have allergies to these kinds of nuts. Students who brought items with peanuts (like peanut butter sandwiches) were forced to sit at a separate table away from the other students. All students had (and still have) to clean their hands with cleaning and de-germing wipes. Teaching assistants were turned into searching machines, sniffing out traces of nuts.
After some parent outcry, they lifted the ban last year, and we were "encouraged to abstain" from bringing nuts. We have big yellow signs on every door with notes from our district superintendent encouraging us not to bring these items to school. The kids are still wiping down before they start the day and at lunch, but now it's the allergy kids who sit at their own table (with friends who have sanctioned lunches).
As for me? I've become a nut felon. Most of the time, I try to eat according to a healthy eating plan, and this plan recommends that we eat a thumb sized serving of a healthy fat (like nuts or olives) after each meal. So, deep in the depths of the bottom drawer of my desk, which is inside the tiny office in my classroom, I have a jar of cashews and macadamias.
Although my nuts are hidden, I still feel guilty enough about this to devote a whole blog post to it. Why? I make sure to wipe down my hands after I eat the teensy serving of nuts twice a day, and none of the students that are in my classroom throughout the day are allergic. Most of the students in our school are allergic to peanuts, not tree nuts. And yet, I can't shake this guilty feeling.
Tell me your thoughts. Am I insane for feeling guilty about this? Or do I need a good punch in the face for eating my nuts so cavalierly? I need some outside perspective on this one.
Let me explain.
Two years ago, our school piloted being a peanut free school. This meant no staff or students were permitted to bring any peanuts, tree nuts, or products with peanuts or tree nuts (like many granola bars) to school. We were told to abstain in order to protect the kids in our building who have allergies to these kinds of nuts. Students who brought items with peanuts (like peanut butter sandwiches) were forced to sit at a separate table away from the other students. All students had (and still have) to clean their hands with cleaning and de-germing wipes. Teaching assistants were turned into searching machines, sniffing out traces of nuts.
After some parent outcry, they lifted the ban last year, and we were "encouraged to abstain" from bringing nuts. We have big yellow signs on every door with notes from our district superintendent encouraging us not to bring these items to school. The kids are still wiping down before they start the day and at lunch, but now it's the allergy kids who sit at their own table (with friends who have sanctioned lunches).
As for me? I've become a nut felon. Most of the time, I try to eat according to a healthy eating plan, and this plan recommends that we eat a thumb sized serving of a healthy fat (like nuts or olives) after each meal. So, deep in the depths of the bottom drawer of my desk, which is inside the tiny office in my classroom, I have a jar of cashews and macadamias.
Although my nuts are hidden, I still feel guilty enough about this to devote a whole blog post to it. Why? I make sure to wipe down my hands after I eat the teensy serving of nuts twice a day, and none of the students that are in my classroom throughout the day are allergic. Most of the students in our school are allergic to peanuts, not tree nuts. And yet, I can't shake this guilty feeling.
Tell me your thoughts. Am I insane for feeling guilty about this? Or do I need a good punch in the face for eating my nuts so cavalierly? I need some outside perspective on this one.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Getting the Magic Back
It's that time of year, folks. Not Christmastime, not holidays in general. It's the time of year where my students start to drive me a little crazy.
Now, don't get me wrong. My kiddos are just as cute and hard-working as ever. Easily distracted by mentions of the upcoming holidays, sure, but mostly fine. It's me that's the problem. I'm frustrated that our winter benchmark scores aren't higher, worried about the ongoing evaluations I have to submit to as part of being a non-tenured teacher, and antsy for the two week long break that begins next week but still seems so very far away. Last week, I found myself getting downright snippy over stupid things. I even uttered the phrase "shame on you" to two of my students who were food fighting at snack time. Seriously, I said "shame on you" to two students who are still learning English and are clearly a few generations behind any person that would actually be shamed by that phrase. Except for me, of course. I shamed myself by using it. But I digress.
The good news is, I got my mojo back with my kids at the unlikeliest of places: a field trip. Today, we spent the whole kindergarten morning at the Chicago Botanic Garden Wonderland Express, and it was, quite frankly awesome. I had lots of parents show up to help supervise, the kids were fairly well behaved, and we were all in awe over the tons of model trains, hothouse plants, and Christmas trees that we saw. The museum even had a scavenger hunt bingo sheet for the kids to mark with stickers to help them focus on specific things throughout the museum. It was awesome.
Like married life, I sometimes find myself looking for ways to keep the magic alive with my kids. Spending 8 hours a day with tiny, pesky, humans is a lot. Sometimes it's easy to see their flaws instead of what they are: developing humans who are learning one day at a time to make their worlds better. Days like today remind me that when I find myself in a rut with them, that it's time to start something new, so that I can see the best sides of them. One of my naughtiest kids even begged me to sit by him on the bus today, and asked me to hold his hand throughout the exhibits. Say it with me: awwww.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed and bored with the routine. It's easy to take the people in your life, both under and over five feet tall, for granted. It's harder to do something unexpected, to break out of the norm and shrug off the responsibilities for a day to get out there and remind yourself why, exactly, you continue to fight so hard for the people that you have in your life. But it's so, so, worth it.
I think I might even survive these next three days :)
Now, don't get me wrong. My kiddos are just as cute and hard-working as ever. Easily distracted by mentions of the upcoming holidays, sure, but mostly fine. It's me that's the problem. I'm frustrated that our winter benchmark scores aren't higher, worried about the ongoing evaluations I have to submit to as part of being a non-tenured teacher, and antsy for the two week long break that begins next week but still seems so very far away. Last week, I found myself getting downright snippy over stupid things. I even uttered the phrase "shame on you" to two of my students who were food fighting at snack time. Seriously, I said "shame on you" to two students who are still learning English and are clearly a few generations behind any person that would actually be shamed by that phrase. Except for me, of course. I shamed myself by using it. But I digress.
The good news is, I got my mojo back with my kids at the unlikeliest of places: a field trip. Today, we spent the whole kindergarten morning at the Chicago Botanic Garden Wonderland Express, and it was, quite frankly awesome. I had lots of parents show up to help supervise, the kids were fairly well behaved, and we were all in awe over the tons of model trains, hothouse plants, and Christmas trees that we saw. The museum even had a scavenger hunt bingo sheet for the kids to mark with stickers to help them focus on specific things throughout the museum. It was awesome.
Like married life, I sometimes find myself looking for ways to keep the magic alive with my kids. Spending 8 hours a day with tiny, pesky, humans is a lot. Sometimes it's easy to see their flaws instead of what they are: developing humans who are learning one day at a time to make their worlds better. Days like today remind me that when I find myself in a rut with them, that it's time to start something new, so that I can see the best sides of them. One of my naughtiest kids even begged me to sit by him on the bus today, and asked me to hold his hand throughout the exhibits. Say it with me: awwww.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed and bored with the routine. It's easy to take the people in your life, both under and over five feet tall, for granted. It's harder to do something unexpected, to break out of the norm and shrug off the responsibilities for a day to get out there and remind yourself why, exactly, you continue to fight so hard for the people that you have in your life. But it's so, so, worth it.
I think I might even survive these next three days :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Señor Justin Bieber
Yesterday, I was walking down the hallway when I spotted one of my first grade friends. She is a teensy Mexican girl in our transitional bilingual program, and I love her because she always has a smile on her face. I happened to notice that she had a large picture taped to the inside of her locker, something that is kind of a rarity among six year olds, since they are generally not as pop-culture savvy as some of the older students. Not this peanut, though.
Not seeing the picture, I asked my friend who was in the picture in Spanish. She didn't miss a beat. Replying back in Spanish, she said "You know him, Mrs. G. Es el señor Justin Bieber. Claro." Of course, indeed.
This makes me laugh for several reasons
1) Justin Bieber is 16. He definitely has not earned the title "Mr. Justin Bieber" yet
2) Justin Bieber is so popular that even a six year old that hasn't yet learned English knows him and loves him enough to put in his locker.
3) I missed an opportunity to ask her to sing me a Justin Bieber song.
4) Somebody signed the Justin Bieber photo in a suspiciously elementary school looking style of cursive. Perhaps a third grader?
5) She used the word "claro" which means of course. Implying that I must be really stupid for not knowing that he would be in her locker.
Wow. Just, wow. The best thing I can say about my job is that it is never, ever, boring.
Not seeing the picture, I asked my friend who was in the picture in Spanish. She didn't miss a beat. Replying back in Spanish, she said "You know him, Mrs. G. Es el señor Justin Bieber. Claro." Of course, indeed.
This makes me laugh for several reasons
1) Justin Bieber is 16. He definitely has not earned the title "Mr. Justin Bieber" yet
2) Justin Bieber is so popular that even a six year old that hasn't yet learned English knows him and loves him enough to put in his locker.
3) I missed an opportunity to ask her to sing me a Justin Bieber song.
4) Somebody signed the Justin Bieber photo in a suspiciously elementary school looking style of cursive. Perhaps a third grader?
5) She used the word "claro" which means of course. Implying that I must be really stupid for not knowing that he would be in her locker.
Wow. Just, wow. The best thing I can say about my job is that it is never, ever, boring.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Laminating and Other Tasks
So, as I mentioned in previous posts (and my lack thereof), the school year has started this week. I'm going to try to get into a regular MWF posting schedule starting next week, because I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with my classroom. My kids are, so far, squirmy and cute. I have a new team member who I love. I sort of feel like I know what I'm doing. Life is good.
In fact, I've redone the way my entire classroom is laid out. While this originally involved a lot of hauling around heavy bookshelves and tables, it now involves lots of laminating. Laminating posters that came with new curriculum. Laminating name plates. Laminating pocket chart stuff. While I love the smell of lamination in the morning, I have run into a slight conundrum, and I need your help to figure it out.
My school laptop has only kindergarten songs on the itunes. Dr. Jean, Jolly Phonics songs, and a whole host of other silly tunes (hello, vintage Raffi) that I keep around because I love a good excuse to choreograph dance moves for a pack of five year olds. However, said laptop is connected to the school's internet, which means that teachers have the same firewall as students. While this really isn't a big deal, I'm annoyed for one reason. This year, because of budget cuts that have led to a ridiculously small bandwith, we aren't allowed to go to any radio station's websites. This includes wtmx.com, where my favorite morning show (Eric & Kathy- no Chicago people I'm NOT a soccer mom, I just like it better than that obnoxious Drex and his lotion hour) has podcasts.
In the past, after the kids left, I'd crank a podcast, and get work done around my room for an hour. Now, if I want a podcast, I'm going to have to put it on my computer at home (which means lugging a heavy bag daily on the train) or bring my iPod to school (which makes me look ridiculously anti social if people stop by my room after school). Kev and I also haven't purchased a CD in a very long time, so I can't just bring CDs to work to put on my iTunes.
Help. What's a girl to do?
I'm currently avoiding cutting out the big pile of laminating in my room in silence by writing this post. I feel my productivity will be down until this problem is solved. Yikes.
In fact, I've redone the way my entire classroom is laid out. While this originally involved a lot of hauling around heavy bookshelves and tables, it now involves lots of laminating. Laminating posters that came with new curriculum. Laminating name plates. Laminating pocket chart stuff. While I love the smell of lamination in the morning, I have run into a slight conundrum, and I need your help to figure it out.
My school laptop has only kindergarten songs on the itunes. Dr. Jean, Jolly Phonics songs, and a whole host of other silly tunes (hello, vintage Raffi) that I keep around because I love a good excuse to choreograph dance moves for a pack of five year olds. However, said laptop is connected to the school's internet, which means that teachers have the same firewall as students. While this really isn't a big deal, I'm annoyed for one reason. This year, because of budget cuts that have led to a ridiculously small bandwith, we aren't allowed to go to any radio station's websites. This includes wtmx.com, where my favorite morning show (Eric & Kathy- no Chicago people I'm NOT a soccer mom, I just like it better than that obnoxious Drex and his lotion hour) has podcasts.
In the past, after the kids left, I'd crank a podcast, and get work done around my room for an hour. Now, if I want a podcast, I'm going to have to put it on my computer at home (which means lugging a heavy bag daily on the train) or bring my iPod to school (which makes me look ridiculously anti social if people stop by my room after school). Kev and I also haven't purchased a CD in a very long time, so I can't just bring CDs to work to put on my iTunes.
Help. What's a girl to do?
I'm currently avoiding cutting out the big pile of laminating in my room in silence by writing this post. I feel my productivity will be down until this problem is solved. Yikes.
Friday, August 13, 2010
How to Name Your Child
***NOTE: I am not pregnant, and am not trying. Nor am I a parent. Nor am I trying to offend you if you have a baby whose name is one I'm ranting about currently. Just some thoughts.
Dear Parents Naming their Children,
As a grade-schooler of the 90s, I had lots of classmates named Jessica, Ashley, Lauren, Anne. Lots of Johns, Colins, Ryans, and Toms. One of my best friends' names was Erika spelled with a K because she's German. This was considered a minor scandal at the time.
At the beginning of a school year, the first information I have about my lil' peanuts is a list of their names. Your child's name will be on the list. My class lists for my students and their classmates, however, get a little more confusing. Kayleigh pronounced KY-lee, not KAY-LEE as I originally guessed. Noah, a girl. Wrigley and Addison, siblings whose parents are not Cubs fans. Joycelyn. Tlaloc. Usually, when I get my list, I spend the first ten minutes of reading it (after I count how many five year olds I will have in my room) trying to figure out how many boys and how many girls I have.
Names are starting to get confusing, people. A co-worker of mine announced the arrival of her new baby niece today. Blayksleigh. Yikes. The spelling is confusing, but I bet it is fun to write in cursive. Which leads me to speculate, why all the counter intuitive spelling? Please think carefully when writing on your child's birth certificate.
Now, you may point out, my married name is Gas. Granted, Kev and I won't have a whole ton of options when we name our someday children if we don't want to pay for extensive therapy for them later. (Jack? Mo? My brothers have supplied us with endless possibilities of names that DON'T work) But, at the same time, I don't understand why you guys seem to feel the need to spell your kids' names strangely. I actually think Blayksleigh isn't a bad name, but I would spell it Blakesly. Or Blakesley. Or something like that. Why set your kid up for endless correcting on the first day of school? Why torment your child's teachers (me among them) with endless re-writing of locker tags, name tags, desk name tags? I mean, honestly, do you all realize how many times a teacher has to write students' names on things?
I'm just saying, a name with a "cute" spelling might be fun for you, as the parent, to doodle in the margins of your notes when you are pretending to pay attention at a company meeting. But for your child, who has to learn to spell the beast, and correct everyone the rest of his or her life it may not be as cute. Just give it some thought. I mean, I'm the one who has to teach your five year old how to write it legibly and correctly. Thanks for your consideration.
Love,
Your child's kindergarten teacher
Dear Parents Naming their Children,
As a grade-schooler of the 90s, I had lots of classmates named Jessica, Ashley, Lauren, Anne. Lots of Johns, Colins, Ryans, and Toms. One of my best friends' names was Erika spelled with a K because she's German. This was considered a minor scandal at the time.
At the beginning of a school year, the first information I have about my lil' peanuts is a list of their names. Your child's name will be on the list. My class lists for my students and their classmates, however, get a little more confusing. Kayleigh pronounced KY-lee, not KAY-LEE as I originally guessed. Noah, a girl. Wrigley and Addison, siblings whose parents are not Cubs fans. Joycelyn. Tlaloc. Usually, when I get my list, I spend the first ten minutes of reading it (after I count how many five year olds I will have in my room) trying to figure out how many boys and how many girls I have.
Names are starting to get confusing, people. A co-worker of mine announced the arrival of her new baby niece today. Blayksleigh. Yikes. The spelling is confusing, but I bet it is fun to write in cursive. Which leads me to speculate, why all the counter intuitive spelling? Please think carefully when writing on your child's birth certificate.
Now, you may point out, my married name is Gas. Granted, Kev and I won't have a whole ton of options when we name our someday children if we don't want to pay for extensive therapy for them later. (Jack? Mo? My brothers have supplied us with endless possibilities of names that DON'T work) But, at the same time, I don't understand why you guys seem to feel the need to spell your kids' names strangely. I actually think Blayksleigh isn't a bad name, but I would spell it Blakesly. Or Blakesley. Or something like that. Why set your kid up for endless correcting on the first day of school? Why torment your child's teachers (me among them) with endless re-writing of locker tags, name tags, desk name tags? I mean, honestly, do you all realize how many times a teacher has to write students' names on things?
I'm just saying, a name with a "cute" spelling might be fun for you, as the parent, to doodle in the margins of your notes when you are pretending to pay attention at a company meeting. But for your child, who has to learn to spell the beast, and correct everyone the rest of his or her life it may not be as cute. Just give it some thought. I mean, I'm the one who has to teach your five year old how to write it legibly and correctly. Thanks for your consideration.
Love,
Your child's kindergarten teacher
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
And...it's August
It's funny, because as a teacher, as soon as August comes around, my perspective shifts naturally. I dust off my alarm clock and start waking up early. I buy new planners, and start new lists. I also start new habits.
Because I'm a teacher, August is the start of my new year, and the resolutions that soon follow. New kids, new chances to grow, new yearly goals. This is the first year in my four years of teaching that I'm staying in the same position as last year: kindergarten in the morning, and first and second grade ELL groups in teh afternoon. I am, quite frankly, ecstatic about this. I poured a lot of my time and energy into making the transition from teaching second grade to teaching kindergarten a smooth one, and much of my remaining brainpower went into the two night classes each week I attended for my masters.
While I made a lot of career progress last year, areas of my personal life suffered. I tried to make up for my long hours teaching and student-ing by filling my calendar with an insane amount of social events. Kev and I spent last school year in a whilrwind of paper writing, househunting, intramural playing and beer downing. Was it fun? Absolutely. Was it healthy? Definitely not. My rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis didn't slow me down. I took my meds when I could, didn't worry about it when I couldn't.
A big RA flare up was the result, combined with a very stressful series of financial discussions in May. As a result, I realized that I physically can't sustain the breakneck pace that I worked at all last year. So, I made some changes. I spend my summer taking four summer graduate classes, so that I only have to be in class one night a week when the school year starts. I've started making lists and emailing staff, to try and get a head start on the school year. I'm playing the Game On! healthy habit building "game" with Kev and another couple, girls against boys, as well as online with a group of women I've never met in real life. Because of this, I'm getting more sleep, drinking less, eating healthier, and exercising more.
In short, it's August, and I'm bracing myself for the start of a new school year.
Because I'm a teacher, August is the start of my new year, and the resolutions that soon follow. New kids, new chances to grow, new yearly goals. This is the first year in my four years of teaching that I'm staying in the same position as last year: kindergarten in the morning, and first and second grade ELL groups in teh afternoon. I am, quite frankly, ecstatic about this. I poured a lot of my time and energy into making the transition from teaching second grade to teaching kindergarten a smooth one, and much of my remaining brainpower went into the two night classes each week I attended for my masters.
While I made a lot of career progress last year, areas of my personal life suffered. I tried to make up for my long hours teaching and student-ing by filling my calendar with an insane amount of social events. Kev and I spent last school year in a whilrwind of paper writing, househunting, intramural playing and beer downing. Was it fun? Absolutely. Was it healthy? Definitely not. My rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis didn't slow me down. I took my meds when I could, didn't worry about it when I couldn't.
A big RA flare up was the result, combined with a very stressful series of financial discussions in May. As a result, I realized that I physically can't sustain the breakneck pace that I worked at all last year. So, I made some changes. I spend my summer taking four summer graduate classes, so that I only have to be in class one night a week when the school year starts. I've started making lists and emailing staff, to try and get a head start on the school year. I'm playing the Game On! healthy habit building "game" with Kev and another couple, girls against boys, as well as online with a group of women I've never met in real life. Because of this, I'm getting more sleep, drinking less, eating healthier, and exercising more.
In short, it's August, and I'm bracing myself for the start of a new school year.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Music Night
Today is a big day in the land of kindergarten. We have our very first music night, and the kiddos couldn't be more thrilled about it. In fact, we've already had a great day, since my parents (a doctor and a nurse) came and visited us for Community Helpers week, and even gave them band-aids and pencils. Kids at this age are all about two things: official looking outfits, and the swag that they can get from people wearing them. Needless to say, the visit was a success, due in part to my mom bringing x-rays from work of a kid who swallowed a penny. I think I've safely scared them all into only putting food in their mouths.
Something about today inspires a post about my job, I'm not sure why. Perhaps, since I teach in a state where budget cuts are a real and terrifying thing, it is another reason to be thankful for the job I do have. I think it goes beyond that, though. Seeing all the kids in their best black and white outfits, nervously hopping around antsy-pantsy as they wait for the big performance always makes me smile. I love them all the more for being tone deaf, for making up their own lyrics, for biffing a dance move here or there. Even though they try so hard to be self-important mini-adults, the music night always shows them for what they are-kids. Little kids, one of whom will probably fall off the bleachers. It also shows me for what I am- a person who likes to fix things and pick them back up.
Spring break is coming, and I would be lying immensely if I said that I wasn't pining for it to come soon. While I look forward to a week of wearing sweats, going for runs, reading for large portions of the day, and indulging in an adult beverage or two at an inappropriate time of day, I'll also think about my lil' peanuts, and hope that they are getting into just the right amount of trouble with a fantastic partner in crime while we're off.
Something about today inspires a post about my job, I'm not sure why. Perhaps, since I teach in a state where budget cuts are a real and terrifying thing, it is another reason to be thankful for the job I do have. I think it goes beyond that, though. Seeing all the kids in their best black and white outfits, nervously hopping around antsy-pantsy as they wait for the big performance always makes me smile. I love them all the more for being tone deaf, for making up their own lyrics, for biffing a dance move here or there. Even though they try so hard to be self-important mini-adults, the music night always shows them for what they are-kids. Little kids, one of whom will probably fall off the bleachers. It also shows me for what I am- a person who likes to fix things and pick them back up.
Spring break is coming, and I would be lying immensely if I said that I wasn't pining for it to come soon. While I look forward to a week of wearing sweats, going for runs, reading for large portions of the day, and indulging in an adult beverage or two at an inappropriate time of day, I'll also think about my lil' peanuts, and hope that they are getting into just the right amount of trouble with a fantastic partner in crime while we're off.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Best Ever
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure I have the best job ever. I work at a big elementary school, and many of the families that my students come from can use a helping hand or two, so I feel like I make a difference every day. Also, teaching kindergarten this year has really let me hear some hilariously quotable quotes such as:
S: "my favorite country is Natalie."
Me: "Where is that?"
S: "You know, next to Scotland."
J: "Do you have kids yet?"
Me: "No, I have all of you!"
J: "Well, don't worry. Jesus will send them to you when you look ready."
But today's events really took the cake. You see, at our school, a class gets chosen every week to lead the pledge on morning announcements. The kids all get to introduce themselves, say the pledge in English and Spanish, and watch our principal make the rest of the announcements into the special microphone. This week is our class's turn. Because I don't have an assistant, I had to send four of my kiddos down to the office, and called the secretary to let her know they were on their way. After a few minutes, she called back and said that they hadn't arrived, but that she would check on them.
Where did she find them? Outside. While this is mildly terrifying in and of itself, in context it is quite funny.
She found them saluting the flag with military precision, in a straight line, slowly enunciating each word, and saying the pledge. To the flag of the United States of America.
Apparently kids really are literal thinkers.
S: "my favorite country is Natalie."
Me: "Where is that?"
S: "You know, next to Scotland."
J: "Do you have kids yet?"
Me: "No, I have all of you!"
J: "Well, don't worry. Jesus will send them to you when you look ready."
But today's events really took the cake. You see, at our school, a class gets chosen every week to lead the pledge on morning announcements. The kids all get to introduce themselves, say the pledge in English and Spanish, and watch our principal make the rest of the announcements into the special microphone. This week is our class's turn. Because I don't have an assistant, I had to send four of my kiddos down to the office, and called the secretary to let her know they were on their way. After a few minutes, she called back and said that they hadn't arrived, but that she would check on them.
Where did she find them? Outside. While this is mildly terrifying in and of itself, in context it is quite funny.
She found them saluting the flag with military precision, in a straight line, slowly enunciating each word, and saying the pledge. To the flag of the United States of America.
Apparently kids really are literal thinkers.
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