Epiphany

I'm really good at to-do lists, as you can tell. I really, really like to color code them, and I spend some time each Monday making lists for the week. My problem, as you can see, is follow through. Again, I refer you to the picture above. I have crossed off only a few items, and it's shameful.

I bring this up because I was walking by a student of mine this afternoon while he was working with a specialist in the afternoon. As I passed, the student was wrapping his teensy fingers around another child's throat. Instantly, both his teaching assistant and I responded.

"J, say you are sorry. Make sure you tell the other person what you are sorry for. Remember, sorry means you are going to try your best not to make that mistake anymore."

Later...

"J, you can make better choices than that. I know you are upset about your punishment, but you chose that by the way you acted."

I sound GREAT when I am dishing out redirection to my students. Harder, is taking my own advice. So, here you go.

I am sorry for not completing the things on my to do list in a timely manner. I will try harder to use my time more productively. I am sorry to myself for making choices that stress me out because of how much I have to do, or lead me to neglect the many important relationships in my life in favor of things that are silly.

My epiphany today was a pretty big one. If I treated myself the way I treat my students, I'd dole out some tough love that would inspire change. If I followed my own advice, I'd be able to focus and take my time to do things the right way because I wouldn't constantly be rushing. I'd be able to use my time in more meaningful ways, whether it be spending time with friends and family or crossing items off my to do list. I am going to try harder to be the kind of person who really follows through. Hopefully, this public declaration will help.

I guess I'm pretty smart after all.....