Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Oscar Commentary

Sunday night, after an eventful weekend in Madison toasting my sister's 21st birthday, Kev and I came home and flopped on the couch. Being the elderly folks that we are, we were exhausted from a weekend of trying to keep up with college kids while drinking. Luckily, the Oscars were on.

I love the Oscars, mostly for the outfits. I love to see what people are wearing, although I rarely watch the movies that are up for awards. (I did watch The King's Speech and loved every minute of it. Huzzah for Colin Firth.) Below, some actual texts exchanged between my mom and I during the show. We like to pretend we are Joan and Melissa Rivers.

Regarding this: (pic from

Me: Yikes on the Mila Kunis neckline
M: Looked like her boobs were tattooed. Your sister loved it.
Me: Definite tattoo0-age. Or pasties.

Me: Colin Firth better win or I will be in a snit.
M: A bloody snit?
Me: Indeed

Regarding Nicole Kidman's white dress and red shoe combo:
Me: Love Nicole's red shoes
M: Ugly dress though. At least Hugh is hot
Me: Kev just said the same thing. About Hugh.

On Oprah:
Me: Oprah has some hideous makeup
Mom: Oprah looks great. She's got some big girls! (Momspeak for boobs)

On Jennifer Hudson:
Me: Jennifer Hudson looks amazing. Love the color.
M: Holy cow. J Hud is beautiful. Implants?
Me: Real. She's the current weight watchers spokeswoman and has lost a crapload of weight. That color is unreal on her.
M: After this, they will all be signing up for WW tomorrow.

Back to Halle:
Mom: Halle rocks it every time.
Me: Agreed. Flawless.
Mom: Between our people mag talks and this text stream I've never felt so deliciously shallow.
Me: Agreed. Awesome way to power down the brain before the weekend ends.

Sometimes, it's great to have a mom and sisters. As much as I love my husband, I don't think he would have offered quite the running commentary I needed. Although he would have at least as many boob comments. Every married girl needs her ladies to keep it real.

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