Friday, March 4, 2011

It Never Ends

Yep, it's late. I realize this. I just got home from an after work happy hour that ended now, at close to midnight. No, this is not a reason to call teachers irresponsible either. Harumph. Also yes, I'm probably irresponsibly blogging. So there.

Kev and I had planned to spend tonight staying in. We spent last weekend in Madison toasting my sister's 21st birthday, and tomorrow we are having a dinner party for some of our favorite people. Accordingly, we decided to stay in tonight for a date night with wine. Until I got these messages yesterday:

Kevin: Do you have plans tomorrow night (1st Friday club?)
me: nope
zero plans
Kevin: My coworker Alex has a bday party
at The WHistler
me: nice!
Kevin: it's in Logan Square
me: we have a work happy hour after school
so I probably won't be home til 530 or 6ish
Kevin: Sweet - would you want to go with me?
me: totally!
Kevin: or is your happy hour going to be like last time
me: no, its not

(Sidenote the "last time" Kev is referring to is the blizzard, when we knew we would have the snow day off. We got rowdy on a Tuesday, which is a foreign concept for teachers (and therefore spouses of teachers) and it was awesome)

The interwebs are a hard place to have a change of heart. I didn't see Kev last night because of his grad school, and therefore spent most of today trying to puzzle out whether he really wanted me to come meet up, or he needed space. The sad part of all of this is that it wasn't an issue either way. I was just confused because I couldn't read his tone over computer, and tried to back up because I didn't want to be the obnoxious wife tagging along. I ended up having an unexpectedly great night with my coworkers, and all was well.

The reason that I'm blogging about all of this now amidst a healthy buzz is because while relating my story about potential plans for this evening one of my coworkers looked at me and said "Wow, I didn't realize awkward moments still happened after marriage." Until she said it, I hadn't had that realization either. And you know what? It's all okay.

I'm good with the uncertainty, because it means my boy will be home later. I have the confidence and independence to make other plans because I have a safety net that will come home eventually, even if it means I will go to bed and see him in the morning. At this point, half of the fun of being out separately is that we can have a gossipy catch up tomorrow morning. Despite my sometimes misgivings, we thrive on letting each other make our own space separately. I feel this is one of the ways we have grown together the last year that we've been married. Awkward moments still do happen, and I'm getting better at embracing them as a wife. I've learned over time that the best part of being married is that I have someone who loves me for my awkwardness, and not for my constantly date ready state of preparation. Oddly enough, I'm good with that for now.

Happy Weekend!

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