So, I haven't blogged in over a month because I've been busy, and also because I've been in a creative funk. I think I put too much pressure on myself to design lovely blog posts with pictures and fun designs and such, but really that's not how it needs to be. The blogs I love are ones that have fab content, ideas that inspire me, but mostly people just being themselves.
Quite frankly, I haven't been making enough time lately for the things that make my heart sing. Things like good quality unplanned exercise, reading books instead of skimming the internet. Eating lunch in the teacher's lounge instead of hiding at my desk trying frantically to get things done. Really talking to my husband, and even better listening. Reaching out to old friends. Writing what I feel regardless of perfection.
When the world crowds in on me and the house gets messy, the to-do lists pile up, and I'm confronted with lots of evidence that I'm not perfect, it paralyzes me. I spend way too much money shopping online looking for things to make me better, instead of focusing on how to make myself better. I'm mad at myself, so I'm mean to other people. The stress makes my RA flair, and I hobble about like a surly crone. It's not cool.
I slowed things down a notch the last few weekends, and I've decided to return to blogging. It helps me feel like myself. I'm going to read more, and get myself back to the gym for some unstructured workouts, rather than regimented training. I'm going to get outside, take pictures, and hone my craft. I'm going to start focusing on a few things, instead of running around like a madwoman. I'm going to cook. I'm not going to go to events that I'm not excited about.
I'm back, bitches, and I'm myself again. And I'm going to be better than ever