In the past few weekends, I've had a lot of amazing girl time with my gal pals. Kev has bee wildly busy with work and finishing up another quarter in his MBA studies, and I've been making the most of flying solo by prioritizing my girls. Truthfully, I've written about it before and I'll say it again; I'm not great at making plans without Kev. But a sister needs her sistas, and I'm glad I've gotten to catch up with my original crew.
After spending time with two different girl groups, there was one theme that I had heard over and over. Two of my very best friends are having significant boy troubles. Those are their stories to tell, but both of them are stressing for the same reasons. They are getting older, they want to find the one, and they want to feel like they are really building something special with somebody they care about.Both of were saying the same things:
"I gave him everything I had."
"I was scared to tell my friends until I knew it was going somewhere."
"I don't understand what he needs to 'figure out.'"
"I have no idea how to meet someone."
"I don't want to start over."
"I'm ready to find someone."
"I'm doing my part, why isn't he doing his?"
I totally empathize with these ladies, in that as we get older, our groups of friends are really starting to pair off. I love these ladies and want them around as much as possible, but truth be told, we really do suck. They aren't going to meet a lot of new single gentlemen if they hang out with their same old groups every weekend. It just ain't gonna happen.
But more importantly, I told them both the same thing. The dating and figuring out where you are headed is the easy part. It shouldn't be hard to fall in love with someone with whom you want to build something serious. Falling in love isn't a choice. Staying in love is. The dating part should be the easy part. If it's not, it's probably not going to go anywhere. It sounds harsh, but it's true.
Why waste the effort on somebody you don't look forward to seeing? Why take your fabulous self off the market for someone who isn't equally as smitten with you? Real true love doesn't listen to your objections. It grabs you by the teeth, drags you along with it, and leaves you so high strung that you daze off at work, dreaming of that special someone. You look forward to seeing them, but more importantly, your life seems a little bet less rich, less sparkly, less vibrant, when they are not around. And until you get that magical foot-popping, swoony giggling fit around that person, well, they aren't worth your time.
Life is too short to get lots in the should and shouldn'ts. Love knows that and doesn't pay them any mind. Wait for it ladies, because when that special someone comes, he (or she) will be so, so, so, so worth it. I promise.