Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Holy S That was A

On Saturday night, I attended a bachelorette party for a dear, dear, dear friend. I drank more in one evening than I have in years, and had such a college-style hangover that I awoke the next morning still drunk and craving Ramen noodles. Behold, a sampling of the email exchange between the blushing bride to be, myself, my seasoned mom friend, and my brand new mom friend who missed the hijinks:

Things lost at one very special lady's bachelorette party last night:
-my blazer
-my voice
-my dignity
-my sobriety THIS MORNING as we speak

Things found this morning:
-J's scarf
-an orange glow bracelet that I'm still wearing
-a headache that feels like tiny people in cement shoes are dancing in my brain
-an unidentified drinking bruise (UDB) on my thigh....the size of my palm
-a newfound hatred for purple grape vodka

Good lord, that.was.awesome.

New momma friend, WE MISSED YOU!

New Momma Friend:
Lists, Take II

Things lost last night:

- my days of free-wheeling out on the town, carefree
- hours of sleep as a wee angry elf took advantage of her cuteness to create havoc unpunished
- an ENTIRE Easter basket worth of chocolate eggs and jelly beans
- the end of a movie.....I swear I just closed my eyes for a minute!

Things found this morning:

- a newly awakened appetite for chocolate....now if only I could find that Easter basket.....???
- a great email summing up a great night.....so glad it was fun!
- the surprising truth that I still adore this tiny person even after her midnight escapades.  Who knew love could run so deep?

Love you girls!  I  hope it was wildly fun and irresponsible!  If you're reading this before Monday, you didn't do enough damage.....

Seasoned Momma Friend:


I DO remember the purple vodka, I do remember having a nice convo with Groom's sister. I do remember getting in the trolley. Everything else is blurry!! 

I remember being in the cab. Then I woke up on the couch with all my stuff on the floor!

I spent the first few hours of the AM thinking, how the hell am I going to tell the husband I lost my cell iPhone? He is going to be so PO'd!!! The scarf was the least of my worries. Par for the course, but the phone. SHIT!!! All shy and sorry I went downstairs, then shook his shoulder, and said, (whispering) "hi honey." He said, "hey, it lives. Are you OK?" I say, "there's my phone!" It was on his night table. He said, "yeah, you gave it to me last night when you walked in." 

I also lost all kinds of dignity!! Did we go through a back alley to get into a bar? Was there a chick all PO'd bc we were trying to get in? Nicole, I remember you were going to take someone down for talking to me in a harsh tone. I apparently took picture on my phone bc I found them last night. 

Today I am eating spreadable cheese and crackers and a pear. Nevertheless, I would do it again. But this time, no purple vodka!!

Also, I came home with more money than I left with. Did I not pay for anything? Or was I in the back alley for a different reason? Or did I forget to pay the cab driver? I assume the husbandwould have told me about the cab driver not leaving without getting paid. 

Other than an apology for... well the purple vodka... do I owe you money as well?

Can't wait for the wedding!!!! Where I will NOT be drinking. I've done enough of that!!

Oh, wedding season, how glad I am you are upon us. I REALLY need to start making better choices....

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