Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Shopping Cart Game

I love to run errands, especially if they involve shopping; my favorite part, by far, is the shopping cart game.

My mom and aunt and I have been playing this game for approximately five years. We compete to see who can find the person in the store with the craziest assortment of items. When we find one, texts immediately zing through the air, and stealth pictures are attempted. When we are the perpetrators of a particularly strange cart combo, we wear the achievement with a badge of honor and call each other to gloat.

Valentine's Day is usually a particularly fruitful day for the shopping cart game. I've seen a man with baby formula, condoms, chocolates, and a six pack of beer. I've seen an older woman with twelve cans of cat food, a double bottle of wine, a Harlequin romance novel, and Cheetos. My favorite are the old people: on more than one occasion I've seen the dental toothpaste-fresh flower combo in action.
Frozen turkeys, frozen pizza, and a pair of Spongebob boxers. Waxing kits, hair dye, sweatpants, and duct tape. Newsweek, the second season of Sex and the City, and two Webkinz stuffed animals. The combinations are endless.  I love to speculate in line while investigating. Are these people shopping for themselves or others? Did someone ask them to pick up these strange items? Why would they need all of these in one trip?

I mention this because today I was the perpetrator of the random cart while trying to knock as many errands off of my endless chain as possible in Kohls. I looked down, and had the following in my cart:

One pearly, silky babydoll nightgown (for a bachelorette party gift)
One 15 space shoe rack (for our hovel of a home)
One large rubbery tub with handles (for a recycling bin)
A memory foam bathmat (hovel, again)
12 pairs of athletic socks (to replace some fallen soldiers)

All I needed were some cans of wet cat food and a trashy novel, and I would have been set. Next time you're out, take a look around. Once you've really spied on someone else's cart, you'll feel much better about yourself. I promise.

Am I the only weirdo around? What is the strangest combo you've collected in one trip? What is the strangest you've seen? Discuss.

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