Friday Reads

Hey everybody! Can you believe it is time for another fabulous Friday Reads? This weekend, I'm hoping to finally finish the Everlost trilogy. I'm feeling a bit more inspired since hearing Neal Schusterman, the author, speak yesterday, but I'm still needing a little push. Then, to balance out my YA love, I'm going to sit down and read Schindler's List, in order to finally finish the Back to the Classics Challenge that I started earlier this year. I'm still not really sure what I'm planning to do as far as reading challenges, but I will keep you posted.

Last week, I finished reading A Gate at the Stairs by one of my all time favorite authors, Lorrie Moore. True to form, Ms. Moore did NOT disappoint. Her writing, quite frankly, humbles me, and she manages to find the poetic in the mundane. I loved here characters in this book, and the story, about a college student the year after 911 struggling with personal and societal identity crisis, veered into wild turns. Initially, I thought the book would be just another nannying-for-rich-people-helps-student-find-herself tale, but this book was so much more. While reading, I was forced to confront my personal attitudes towards race, war, and stereotyping, and I'm still pondering many of the themes of the book. Although A Gate at the Stairs was published 10 years after Moore's last book, it was hands down worth the wait. If you are an aficionado of thoughtful prose, or a lover of a book with themes that run deep, this is for you. It is the perfect antidote to all of the YA reading I have been doing lately.

What are you reading this week? Be sure to share on twitter with the hashtag #FridayReads to participate in an amazing community!

From the Darndest Places

It is no secret that I love my job. I am passionate about working with kids and teachers who challenge me, and I often find that I learn as much, or more about life from them than I teach them in return. It's a beautiful thing, and I would never, ever work in another profession.

This week, some great things were brewing in the Language Arts Department (of which I am a teensy, sort of part, since I teach a self-contained ELL LA class). Several teachers have recently participated in a conference, and wanted to de-brief some of their big thoughts. We began discussing our own personal reading and writing lives. Apparently, a presenter at one of the presentations had challenged this national group of Language Arts teachers, saying that if a teacher doesn't have a rich reading or writing life, how do they expect to authentically connect with and ameliorate their students' literacy lives? My mind was blown.

It sounds so simple. We teach. They learn. We coach. They rewrite. They read. We question. But really, it is so much more complex than that. How are we to challenge students to push beyond their previous inhibitions with genre or craft, if we aren't constantly pushing ourselves in new and strange directions? How can we create lifelong learners if we are disengaged with the world around ourselves?

The truth is, I am not often good at this. I come home from work tired, and want to wrap myself in my domestic cocoon rather than engaging with the outside world. On the weekends, I want to spend time with friends, not ponder my intellectual life or challenge myself. But to be a better teacher, I have to get beyond that. I have to do things that scare me. Practice language. Take risks. Write. Rewrite. Learn a skill. Listen. Be TAUGHT. I'm not very good at these things. I break down, I get humiliated, I am a poor sport when asked to participate in a game I'm not good at. I don't try. And yet, I would hate this same behavior in my students.

Self improvement goals come from the darndest places.

Are you a risk taker, or a rut finder?
What are you doing right now to challenge yourself?

10 Things-Randoms

1) Doesn't this blog look magnificent? I had been wanting to do a major blog overhaul for, well, ever, but don't have the html skills to really pull off doing it. Luckily Jessica at Diamond Doll Design ran a flash sale, and lo and behold, you are looking at the results. Thank goodness for the technologically savvy. I am certainly not one of them. Jessica was amazingly easy and speedy to work with. Huzzah!

2) Last night, I took a walk with a friend and we passed a festive Starbucks. In said Starbucks, there was an approximately four year old boy with his nose pressed up to the window and his tongue out, slowly licking the glass. Yikes.

3) Upon seeing said boy, I quietly thanked the Lord that I no longer teach kindergarten. My junior high kids have the good sense to keep their disgustingness a little more hidden.

4) As previously mentioned, we've been living a 90% vegetarian lifestyle. I've realized that while I have tons of energy, dinner options are limited. Leave a comment if you have a delicious meal for me to concoct.

5) I chopped my hair the Friday after Thanksgiving. Yesterday, had a poll open regarding Katy Perry's new hairdo. Methinks she stole mine. Harumph. See?

6) My mom would keel over if I showed up with platinum and pink hair for the holidays. I think it could be festive.

7) Kev has his fancy schmancy holiday party at the Museum of Contemporary Art on Friday. I may or may not have purchased a new dress that I may or may not now be concerned about fitting into.

8) I googled "ugly christmas sweater shops" and this popped up. What. The. Fudge.

9) I have been dragging myself out of bed this week and getting to school later and later. Oopsies. Bad Colie. Thank goodness traffic has cooperated and I haven't been late.

10) I have a meeting after school with a boss that terrifies me, so I spent way too much time this morning looking for a power outfit. Do other people do this, or am I a weirdo?

What random thoughts are you pondering today?
What does your power outfit look like? Mine almost always involves boots and a cardigan.

Friday Reads

Happy Friday all! I spent last week reading Eating Animals, and I already updated you on how it changed my life. Then, for some brain candy, I read Are You There, Vodka? It's me, Chelsea by the sometimes hilarious Ms. Chelsea Handler to empty my brain out. Empty is actually a good word to describe the whole book. The first five essays in it are, well, meh. Not hilarious, not inspiring, and more self-indulgent than anything else. Though the book picks up some steam by the end, I'm still not exactly impressed. Her first book, My Horizontal Life, is much funnier, probably because everyone has awkward sex stories that are relatable. Lord knows I certainly do.

Anyway, this weekend I am going to try and finish two books, one of which I have been positively aching for.

I have a huge writer crush on Lorrie Moore, ever since I read her short stories in my college Creative Writing Workshop course. Bonus points to Ms. Moore for being a college English (not creative writing!) teacher in her professional life. While this means that we have to wait a long time for her books, they are always filled with gorgeous writing, feminist themes, and thought provoking memories. This lady is magic, and inspires me to put a little more extraordinary into the mundane things I write on this here blog.

While I am so stoked for A Gate at the Stairs, it is definitely a book that needs to be savored in a quiet place, and since the bulk of my reading is done on my gray couch, surrounded by my fat cats, with Kev playing video games or watching terrible movies in the background, I also have Everfound, the final book in the Skinjacker trilogy by Neil Schusterman, on the back burner. I have to admit, I read this trilogy on the recommendation of one of the kids in my 8th grade LA class, who ranted and raved about them, and asked me if I had started them every day until I had no choice but to start for my own mental sanity. While I haven't fallen in passionate love with this trilogy (they are a little too over the top for me, and some of the characters could be developed better), I am excited to see how he wraps things up.

Don't forget to tweet your Friday Reads with the hashtag #fridayreads. More importantly, don't forget to read!

What are you reading this weekend?

Vegging Out

The reason I became a teacher is because I love to read. The reason I went through two years of grad school hell was to better help teacher struggling kids to love it, too. Reading transforms thoughts, reading inspires, reading changes you in ways you can't imagine.

Enter Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals:

In Eating Animals, Foer writes a well researched account of the many factors that have led him to choose vegetarianism for himself and his family, in the hopes that his infant son may one day grow up and understand the philosophies that drive his family's food choices. Foer goes into the practices that drive factory farms, which produce so much of America's meats, and then delves into the mental and physical health repercussions for both people who process animals into our meat, and the effects that factory farming have on our planet as a whole.

Now, I will tell you, I am a bacon girl. A seafood girl. A sandwich piled high with meat gal. But after reading this book, I have gotten a lot more thoughtful about how my food is produced. Kev (the previously staunchest meat-eater I know, who used to make fun of me in our early dating days if I didn't order chicken or meat) inspired me to read this book, and together we have made some big changes to our eating. We've cut out meat entirely from our grocery runs, and we have begun buying free-range eggs (Foer mentions that free-range is essentially a hoax, but in the absence of farmer's markets in the winter, it is what we are doing). From now on, when I do eat meat or seafood, it is going to be for special occasions only, and I am going to make more of a concerted effort to find out where my food is coming from, and at what cost. I think most Americans are woefully out of touch with the food to table process, and I'm thankful that I read this book to help me think about it.

Do you consider yourself a food-aware person? Why or why not?

Have outside forces ever forced you to confront ugly truths about your eating?

Organization? Me?

Oh, friends, let me tell you. I suck at organization. My house is often hanging on by a thread. My work can quickly disintegrate into a pile of papers if I am not ever vigilant. I am a fly by the seat of the pants person. A procrastinator. Charmingly flighty. A hot mess. Call it what you will, but it drives my loved ones crazy sometimes. Poor Kev.

This year, however, I have a brilliant plan and I can't even believe how proud of myself I am. I made a list on Google Docs of people we needed to buy gifts for, and ideas that I had. THEN I shared it with Kev so that he could add/edit. Let me tell you, just having the list and some ideas jotted down has freed me. It isn't even December yet, and I have more than half of my shopping DONE. All of it was on sale. I am so freaking pumped that I can't even believe it.

More than that, having the extra time has freed me to get organized in other ways. Kev and I have decided that we are going to eat vegetarian (more on that tomorrow), and so today I made a shopping list. I even found two new recipes online and (wait for it) added the ingredients to my list. Holy freaking shit. I don't even know myself anymore.

I know you longtime readers of the blog hear me say all the time that I am turning over a new leaf, but its amazing how these two free, simple, stupid ideas have cleared up so much mental space in my brain. Can it really be that much easier to stay organized? How do I maintain this bliss?

What easy tricks do you used to stay organized? What are some stupid things that you know you should do and never quite get to?

Thanksgiving Wrap-Up

As a kid, I never really thought about Thanksgiving. It was nice. There were extra mashed potatoes and stuffing to be had. We ate. We thanked. We waited for Santa. The End.

Now, though, Thanksgiving has steadily moved up to my favorite holiday. We don't run around in a crazy Mimosa fueled sprint to see both sides of both of our families. We don't have the pressure of keeping everybody happy, or the need to organize endless lists of gifts for everybody. Instead, we get to spend quality time with the people we love while sleeping late and wearing stretchy pants. We catch up with our college-aged siblings and get coddled by our parents. We stop and think about what we've been through since last year and where we are going.

My students who are new to the U.S. were very perplexed by Thanksgiving, so we did a lesson. Pilgrims, Native Americans, travels to a new land, reasons to be thankful for new experiences. We watched Happy Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown, and the kiddos were perplexed by Lucy's meanness and Snoopy's lack of doglike qualities. Through it all, I was thankful for the new opportunity, and thankful for my professional journeys in the last year. When one of my kids said he was thankful for me, I realized that my own pilgrimage to a new school is starting to look like the best decision I never wanted.

As we started the Thanksgiving lesson, one of my students looked at me thoughtfully. "But, Mrs. Gas," she said, "why do Americans need one day to be thankful? Don't they just feel it always?" A million dollar question that I don't really remember having a good answer for. Why, indeed? Shouldn't we always be this vocal about our gratitude? Why don't we shout to the rooftops our love for our families, our gratitude for our physical situations and our thankfulness for life's changes? This Thanksgiving, I'm most thankful for the reminder to carry that attitude through more of my daily life.

I am truly blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you to life and love and new friends and old friends, to family and students and kittens for reminding me of it.

Friday Reads Updates and Newbies

Hey friendlies! Sorry for the lack of posts this week- parent teacher conferences are Monday, so I've been catching up with grading and so forth. Therefore, Friday Reads has now been moved to Monday this week, and I may try to sneak another one in on Friday, since I will be on a blissful Thanksgiving break and will have extra time to read. As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter (@Colie025) and to tweet your own weekend reading material with the hashtag #fridayreads. You can also find me on Goodreads, where I keep an updated record of what I am reading.

As of the last Friday Reads post, I was reading The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer and Positively by Courtney Sheinmel. I have happily finished both of those books, and while both were good, neither left me wowed. In The Uncoupling, a town is inflicted with a mysterious burn out of sex drive as a classic Greek play with similar themes is being rehearsed for and performed. My reading tastes have been leaning toward the fantasy/sci-fi lately, so I was intrigued by the supernatural elements in this realistic fiction book. I loved some of the couples featured (the gym teacher with small children, the married teacher couple), but overall I found their motivations and actions a little unclear. This book may have benefited from having the author explore fewer couples' sexuality in a more in depth manner. I do have a few literary-fiction minded friends that I would recommend this to as a way to dab a toe into supernatural fiction, but overall I wasn't wowed in any significant way, nor did I come away with any new ideas- a sure sign that this wasn't what I had hoped it would be.

Sadly, I felt even more apathetic towardsPositively. While I appreciated that Sheinmel tackled a challenging subject and chose to write about a girl that is HIV positive and struggling with the death of her mother from AIDS. Emmy (the main character) really irritated me, and I found her sudden switch to being at peace with her disease and her mother's death after attending a camp for HIV positive girls unbelievable. I think Sheinmel could have done a better job making Emmy's story more realistic, and that it all ended a little too neatly at the end. I would have liked to see some more research evident in the story, and the side characters were a little flat. I'm glad I have the book to add to my YA library at school, but I don't think I will be strongly recommending it to many students. Rats.

Since these books, I've also finished The Night Circus (loved loved loved) and The Leftovers (also fab). This week, I'm pouncing on finishing Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer (who I have a huge crush on) and Everwild by Neil Schusterman who is coming to our school in December. More reports on those later this week.

Happy Reading!

What are you reading? Do you like this bookish talk, or should I go back to my usual crazy antics? Are you a reader? Would you like to be?

Rewards, Sweet Rewards

Sometimes, I've been known to make terrible decisions. Like going out on a Sunday to watch the Bears game, staying through both lunch and dinner, and consuming at least 10 beers in the 6 hour span, plus shots. On a Sunday. During the school year. All of these things happened on Sunday. One of Kev's best friends, a guy he has known since kindergarten and an awesomely hilarious human being, came down from the suburbs. One of our other good friends, who Kev and I both met around the same time in high school, also came out. Together, we became a superhuman excuse for one another, and collectively decided to shun the fact that we had to work freaking early in the morning. The bar was just crowded enough to be fun and bring out the Miller Lite/Chi radio station folks to bribe us into staying, but just chill enough that we could catch up with one another. I haven't laughed so hard in quite some time. (Actually, that's a lie. I have at least one good face hurting laugh every day. It's sort of one of my guiding principles in life.) Sometimes the universe works in funny ways. Sometimes when you are in a beer and fried food coma, you hear your name being called by the Miller Lite girls. Sometimes you win TWO FREE TICKETS to the Bears game this SUNDAY in the Miller Lite PARTY DECK!!!! (random capitalization completely necessary) It just goes to show you that even if you've never won anything in your whole life of this nature, if you keep entering anyways, you will be rewarded. It also goes to show you, that sometimes God smiles on a little mischief.

It also went to show Kev that he should not make pacts while drunk with his friends. I say this because he apparently promised them that we would flip a coin to see who got the extra ticket, rather than automatically giving it to him. At least he can pick his friend Brian and I up from the game as our DD.

10 Things Thursday

1) Today, when one of my students asked what American teenagers listen to, we had an epic debate on American music. Thank you Spotify. I love working with junior high kids- they have so many opinions and so many passions!

2) Thanks to one of my students, my professional laptop now also looks like this:

3) The first flurries of winter coincided with the first time I busted out my Ugg boots for the winter. Coincidence? I think not.

4) Thank you, veterans, for your service. Thank you, public schools for giving me tomorrow off to sleep late in commemoration.

5) I hate Penn State. Stupid institutions. The lack of social morals and responsibility is really disturbing me.

6) My co-teacher who I love just asked me if I like sushi. Apparently, her husband is a sushi chef and frequently brings rolls home. Uuuhh...yeah....I'm all about that.

7) We are throwing my parents a 30th anniversary party tomorrow night at their house. While the details were stressful to pull together, I am so beyond excited to celebrate with my family and all of my favorite people. This is going to be awesome. I now consider my parents the anti-Kardashians.

8) Kev is having a hellish time with the end of his quarter. Group projects never work out well for anybody. Ever. I am staunchly anti-group project. Especially for adults. Grrr....can't wait until Thanksgiving break when we can spend some quality time together.

9) I've been strongly considering a blog makeover. I think I could get more readers if I didn't have such a ghetto header, but I also don'tknow enough about HTML to fix things. I also can't decide on what kinds of graphics, etc. I would use....comment with ideas!

10) My mom just asked me for ideas for Christmas shopping. I was able to come up with a list pretty quickly. Kind of scary. Actually, I guess that's a good thing since it means I haven't been going out and buying myself this stuff. Right? Right?

What random thoughts are on your mind today?

Fantastic Facebook

Oh, Facebook. For as much idiocy as I find on your stupid network, which I check more than any human really should, sometimes there are amazing gems to be found. Like these (sources included in photo):

It would be so much easier not to make fun of them if I knew what their concrete plans for change were....

This happens to me constantly. #Colieprobz If Kev knew how many morsels could be found in there, he would be in heaven. For more reasons than one.

Yes, Kim Kardashian. Divorce is tragic. For people who got married for real reasons. Maybe if she had more crumbs in her boobs, her marriage would have survived. Big amen to this one.

Or maybe if they had gotten hot more.....I love puns.

Best thing about facebook- the amount of awesome book nerds who live there.

Indeed, freaking awesome.

Thank you, Facebook.

Social Justice

via

First of all- thanks to all you friendlies out there who talked to me about last week's depression post. Honestly, there are a few reasons I write this blog. One of them being that it's cheaper than therapy. Often, I start writing about things that I need to think out for myself, and voila the answer works itself out.

Today was one of those rare days where I attended a professional development workshop and I walked away dazzled. I participated in an amazing workshop for ELL teachers given by a woman who has been in the business since 1974. She was energetic. She was passionate. She was real. I want to carry her around in my pocket all the time. So many of the things she said resonated with me, and she delivered her thoughts with so much love.

One thing stood out to me in particular. Dr. Guzman said that you can't be an ELL teacher without the hunger for social justice for your students. She noted that part of our job is to make sure that our students are enveloped in and protected by the great laws that the United States has for our ELL students. She said that we can't just be satisfied by giving them a good education- that we must work every day to make sure they have an equal opportunity for success, for social participation, and for the opportunity to help enrich and open their native English speaking peers' minds.

Yes, I thought this is why I teach.

Then, I took this concept back to my own life. Although I feel I've gotten myself out of my recent funk, I know I can slip back easily. Even though I have more than I ever thought possible for myself in my life, I'm hot tempered. I'm jealous. I can get whiny. I'm stubborn. I think it comes with the territory of being intelligent, passionate, and opinionated. In short, I'm a lot to handle. But if I really want to find peace within myself, I need to make sure that I am treating myself with justice. Because a lot has been given to me, a lot is expected of me, as the saying goes. I need to pour my energy more into working for others, into making things better and not worse, and to focus on all of the things I do have, and suddenly all this popularity and has vs have not bullshit will fall by the wayside. I also need to be fair to myself- I need to know when I need to give myself a break, and I need to give it. I know when I need to give my friends a break, too, and I need to give that as well. If you want peace, Nicole, you need to start working harder at justice.

Who would have thought the time I spent writing sub plans yesterday would have turned out to be so, so worth it?

You Can't Have It All

I've been in kind of a funk lately, and I'm not sure why.

Thanks, Hyperbole and a Half

I'm not even really sure why, but part of the reason I write this blog is that it's cheaper than therapy, and writing has always been an opportunity for me to channel my emotions.

Anyways, I have a lot of friends who are pregnant roaming around incubating feti. A. Lot. Those of my friends who are married without kids, like Kev and I, are starting to talk about when they are having them. It's like every time I check Facebook, a giant "YOU ARE ALMOST THIRTY" sign starts blinking at me. Ack. I am so not ready for children, and Kev and I have a timeline that is going to work for us, but still. People are moving on, and their time will be limited, and I'm scared that I'm going to be left in the dust for playgroups. Woe is me.

My friends who are single, or dating someone but not married, on the other hand, seem to be getting closer and closer, and I'm not always sure where I fit in. I love them, and I'm pretty sure that they love me, but I keep finding out about times they have all spent together without me, and it makes me sad. Kev and I have a crazy busy life, and I can't often make it out, but I want to. I really, really want to. I snapped at a friend about it while I was in a drunken stupor, and I feel like such an ass about it now. Seriously, Colie, grow the eff up.

I guess that's just it, really. Growing up is hard. For all of the really important things in life, I've gotten more than I ever would have dreamed of. I have a beautiful, albiet messy, home. A great family. A passionate, wonderful and challenging husband. Friends that I adore. But it's really hard for me to realize that I can't have it all ALL the time. I won't always be included. I won't always include others. People may come and go from my life, and that just has to be okay. Growing up is freaking hard, but it has come with some of the best rewards so far that I've ever experienced. I have to let go, and trust that it will all work out. It's okay, I'm okay, and changes are okay. Now, I must go remind myself to quit being so damn selfish :)

Paaarrrrrghty!

I love my friends for many reasons. They are smart, funny, sassy, creative, outgoing and always push the boundaries of good taste and good grown up behavior. On the other hand, they can pull it together when a situation arises. They are loyal, loving, and empathetic.

However, we're going to talk about the crazy, sassy qualities today.

This is the pirate ship that my lovely friend Coco rented for her 30th birthday party. Her birthday is October 30th, so she always throw really kicking Halloween parties, and this one was no exception. We ate. We drank. I remember the ship being a good time. Don't remember much else, oops.

This is my friend, Patrick, and I. He is a bar of pirate's gold, and I am a gold digger. Kev refuses to dress up with me ever since I had the brilliant idea of being a couple from the short-lived VH1 show Tool Academy. It was awesome, and now he says we can't top it so he won't even try. Harumph.

This is my friend, Carl, and I doing some awesome pillaging of some Bud Light.

And last, but not least, this is Kev, Coco and I on the ship, being awesome. I love that girl and probably would not have survived my wedding without her. Happy 30th, Coco!

Full Disclosure: I was not paid in any way for this advertisement of the totally rad awesome Gypsy Rose II, but I wholeheartedly endorse this ship. The top picture of the ship is from their website . I wholeheartedly recommend this for fun of all ages if you are ever in St. Louis, MO. You don't even have to be drunken idiots like we were!

Friday Reads!

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been totally book obsessed. I started reading very young (Thanks Mom and Dad!), and not only did I love to read, but I'm told I loved to physically play with my books- stacking them into piles, sorting them by color, character, or genre. I love books.

Recently, my favorite book blogger introduced me to Friday Reads on twitter. Basically, Rebecca and some bookish friends have been working to promote literacy and awareness of the written word by having people tweet what they are reading each Friday. Reading not your thing? They have Friday Listens too, for the books on tape crowd. Simply tweet what you are reading: book, magazine, website, newspaper, textbook, children's book with the hashtag #fridayreads for some good reading karma. Show that you care about reading, that it is important, and celebrate how awesome reading is with a big group of people.

I've decided to take this concept and share my thoughts about what I'm reading, or things I love about reading, every Friday. Hopefully, you enjoy checking out what I'm dabbling into, and feel free to comment with thoughts or recommendations. Can't get enough? Follow me on GoodReads for more scoops.

Without further ado, here's what I'm reading this Friday!

Since starting my new job, I've found myself reading a young adult book simultaneously with a regular novel or book. I've been so fortunate to work with students who are constantly recommending titles to me, and interested in what I have to say about them. This week, I'm reading The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer (quirky fiction about a town in which the women are all cursed with having their sex drive eliminated as the town high school puts on a production of a Greek tragicomedy with similar themes) and Positively by Courtney Sheinmel, about a girl who is HIV positive and begins to come to terms with her disease. I'm about 100 pages into Uncoupling, and I'm loving it. It is quirky and original, and the quotes about reading and society's evolution are not to be missed. I haven't started Positively yet, but I'm looking forward to doing so.

What are you reading this Friday? Comment here!

Happy Friday everyone!

10 Things This Thursday

1) This week has been crazy at work. I was out all of Tuesday morning for a meeting, we had a half day with the students and meetings all afternoon, and meetings all day again tomorrow. Not to mention, we are a week away from the end of the quarter, so it's just a mad rush to finish things up. My kiddos and school continue to be great- I really love working with the older kids, and my new staff is mellow and kind. Work life is good.

2) I've spent a lot of time in the past week with my gal pals. You know, the ones that you can go two months without seeing (literally) and then you sit and talk for four hours straight as if you saw each other every day. Or the ones that you are pretty sure are yourself, just in another body. I love my girls. Nothing can take away Kev's and my bond, but a girl has GOT to have girlfriends in life.

3) I've been really, really bad about working out this week. Like, I haven't worked out since Friday. Oopsadoodle. I did, however, go buy myself some protein powder today. I'm just not sure if I'm getting enough in my regular diet, and I figure it can't hurt, especially with my crazy immune system.

4) Speaking of, on World Arthritis Day I posted a facebook message:

which led to a co-worker of mine with JRA commenting. We got together yesterday morning to compare treatments/doctors/experiences and it was awesome. I've never met anybody who is struggling with this before, and it was nice to have someone who got it.

5) Although, if I'm being honest, my dad has RA, but he's too stubborn to see a doctor. Doctors make the worst patients, and he is proving it. Must.get.him.some.help.

6) One of my students asked me today why I have cats, since all they do is hide. To be honest, sometimes I wish my furbabies would hide a little more.

7) Today Felix jumped up on the sink while I was getting ready. I pushed him off and he landed in the toilet. He is still peeved with me 11 hours later. I am the worst cat mother ever.

8) Speaking of mothers, my life is being inundated with babies lately. People I didn't think were having babies soon are. People who want babies can't. My facebook feed is full of uteri (score! that IS the plural! Thanks for making me feel smart, spellcheck)

9) When I hear these things, all I can think of is, "Man, I am freaking old. Aren't we too young to do this?" 30 is creeping up on us, folks. It's scary and good all at the same time.

10) I love blogging, even if I don't get to do it often. It's my pensive, my brain dump, and its awesome. Thanks for reading!

Day Off

My house is messy. Like, really messy. And yet, I have my feet up.

You know why? Because I have the day off today. I can sit here in my underpants wearing one of Kevin's t-shirts and get things cleaned up at my own pace. Because today is MY day. And Felix?

Well, he doesn't seem to mind.

In all honesty, I'm a pretty terrible wife in terms of housekeeping. My biggest flaw is that I say I'm going to do something around here, and I just don't follow through. It's not an attractive quality, believe me. I AM planning on cleaning today in a bit. But maybe while watching trashy t.v. that Kev doesn't like. I can fold laundry while watching and tidy on the breaks.

Yeah....that should be my plan. Of course!

In all honesty, while I love my husband, I also love the random three day weekends I get as a teacher. I can work out, clean up, get my life back in order, AND sleep in. I can work at my own place. I can putter, lounge, peruse, and organize without having to explain the order I'm doing things in to anybody else.

Don't get me wrong- I adore being married. It is my proudest achievement, and my favorite title. But sometimes, I need time at home alone. I think that when people get married, there is an idea of forced togetherness that is sometimes really hard to live up to. I think the happiest couples that I know are the ones who know how to give each other space, and time to themselves, and to just let each other be. I'm pretty darn stubborn and independent, and sometimes I like the space to just do my thing. Make my own schedule. Remember who I was, and who I want to be.

And if I can put this shithole back together today? More power to me.

Happy Columbus Day!

Here's to the Nerds

I did something really brave this week, people. I spent three days and two nights at outdoor education with the sixth graders from my school. I ate with them, shared bunk beds in a room with my (still very new to me) colleagues, and I didn't get to take the edge off with any alcohol either. Luckily, the weather was beautiful, and I realized how much I really do enjoy being out and about in a camping type environment.

Beautiful view looking East.

Same location, looking North and South. A true test of my ability to find zen in the midst of chaos.

Before I left, Kev told me he thought it was super strange that our school expects teachers to give up their lives for three days for an extremely (less than minimum wage) minimal extra duty stipend. He thought it was even stranger when I came home and told him that I had enjoyed myself.

My mom even called to check in and make sure I had survived. I told her that I had, and explained some of the quotes from kids that had made me laugh. Mom skipped a beat and then replied

"Colie, I thought you were insane when you left elementary teaching to willingly work at a junior high, but you know what? I think all your students, especially your super awkward nerdy ones, are so lucky to have you to appreciate your inner nerd. I think you are so good at it because you never really lost yours."

And you know what? She's right. I think this world would be a much better place if we all embraced our inner nerds. If we celebrated the weirdos, acknowledged the anti-grace of the klutz. I'm not really good at a lot of things. I have very little patience with myself and I don't like to work hard at things I'm not good at. I have a bad temper. I gossip.

But I'm really good at being different. I'm a fantastic nerd. And maybe, I can be okay with that if it helps an awkward kid at the most terrible stage of life start to see that they are okay too.

What "aha" moments have you gotten from your families? What geeky things do you love?

Hiatus Ended

So, I haven't blogged in over a month because I've been busy, and also because I've been in a creative funk. I think I put too much pressure on myself to design lovely blog posts with pictures and fun designs and such, but really that's not how it needs to be. The blogs I love are ones that have fab content, ideas that inspire me, but mostly people just being themselves.

Quite frankly, I haven't been making enough time lately for the things that make my heart sing. Things like good quality unplanned exercise, reading books instead of skimming the internet. Eating lunch in the teacher's lounge instead of hiding at my desk trying frantically to get things done. Really talking to my husband, and even better listening. Reaching out to old friends. Writing what I feel regardless of perfection.

When the world crowds in on me and the house gets messy, the to-do lists pile up, and I'm confronted with lots of evidence that I'm not perfect, it paralyzes me. I spend way too much money shopping online looking for things to make me better, instead of focusing on how to make myself better. I'm mad at myself, so I'm mean to other people. The stress makes my RA flair, and I hobble about like a surly crone. It's not cool.

I slowed things down a notch the last few weekends, and I've decided to return to blogging. It helps me feel like myself. I'm going to read more, and get myself back to the gym for some unstructured workouts, rather than regimented training. I'm going to get outside, take pictures, and hone my craft. I'm going to start focusing on a few things, instead of running around like a madwoman. I'm going to cook. I'm not going to go to events that I'm not excited about.

I'm back, bitches, and I'm myself again. And I'm going to be better than ever

Ten Things Friday

I was at school late for open house yesterday, and you know I already pushed it back from Tuesday, so I thought...meh....I'll post it today.

1) In case you couldn't tell from my rambles, school has started. I love my new job, but holy cow it's exhausting. I've been in bed before 9:30 more times than a gal in her twenties should.

2) Speaking of age, the older I get, the more I appreciate an early bedtime. Kev and I have been going to bed super early and reading until we go to sleep. The quiet is bliss.

3) Kev and I went grocery shopping at our favorite local Mexican grocery on Monday. We were terrible about grocery shopping this summer, and I forgot how nice it is to have many food options each night.

4) Because we hadn't grocery shopped, we'd been eating garbage foods all summer. I didn't lose a single pound despite training for a freaking half marathon. Oops.

5) I saw a number on the scale that was terrifying yesterday. See above.

6)Thank goodness my sister and I decided to do a half together at the end of October. I may need it.

7) Teaching junior high is awesome. They understand sarcasm, and their awkwardness makes me feel so much better about myself.

8) Although, I will admit, I don't think I could do some of their math homework. I need to re-learn the rules of positive and negative numbers.

9) Or do I? When do I really need to know if a quotient will be positive or negative in a given equation?

10) On my birthday, I found a sheet of kitten pictures on my desk.

If that's not a junior high sign of affection, I don't know what is.