It's time, my friends.
For the past month, I've been avoiding a blogging subject, partially because I was adjusting and partially because I didn't have the words. Now, I do. In December, on the Tuesday before Christmas, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. While I won't get into specifics, the gist of all of it is that my overly helpful immune system has decided to attack my joints, which has been affecting the strength and movement I have in my hands and wrists. For awhile, I wasn't sleeping very well and I was waking up even grouchier than usual with what Kevin has termed my "grandma hands." Luckily, I have good insurance, a great doctor, and have started a dose of very mild immunosuppresants to tell my nosy system to back off.
At first, during all of the testing, I was pretty down. I was worried that I would no longer be able to run or play floor hockey, and on a daily basis I was frustrated by how long it took me to turn on the bathroom faucets, my near inability to open water bottles, and the waking up in the middle of the night to throbbing hands. However, after talking to my doctor, I realized that it's up to me what physical activities I can do, and that while I might have good days and bad days, there are very few things I can do that will make my illness better or worse.
The reason I'm blogging today, however, is not to wallow in my chronic illness, nor to discuss it's impact on my marriage (which, so far, has been minimal, aside from some teasing) It's because I realized today, that I've seen some positive changes in the past month. For starters, I'm feeling better. I'm hoping this is because of the meds, and that I won't have to switch to a more hardcore med (the next strongest med would force me to quit drinking because of it's negative effects on the liver, and we all know that I am just not ready to go through life as a teetotaler). More importantly, though, is the fact that I've become more focused. I'm responding to emails faster, taking care of bills sooner, eating better, and working out longer. I'm not procrastinating my grad school mountains of homework, and I'm trying to be overall more responsible. I spent so much of my time ignoring how much pain I was in, and forcing myself to tough it out. Now, I kick myself. I know my body well enough to know it was telling me something was amiss, and I can't help regretting how much time I wasted feeling less than my best.
I've learned a powerful lesson with all of this. Ignoring something won't make it go away. When I was feeling at my worst with RA (and I feel blessed, because I was diagnosed early in the progression of the disease, and have no permanent damage thus far-my form is much more mild than many of the others in the RA community) I would worry that I had bone cancer, or would be disabled from the mystery condition. In making the appointment and accepting the diagnosis, there has come a sense of peace. Yes, this sucks, but I can handle it. Yes, I will have bad days but I will also have great ones. Yes, I can live my life in a way that makes me happy, I just have to be more in tune and proactive about not letting myself get stressed and overwhelmed. I also have to be a strong, confident and happy wife, because I refuse to let this impact my relationships or experiences with the people I love, especially my husband.
In short, I'm more willing to chase down my goals. In May, I'm running the Wisconsin Half-Marathon, I'm working on my book challenges and my master's, and I'm pondering a possible trip down to South America to see my amazing sister who will be studying in Chile from February-July. Kevin and I are pondering the eternal question: To buy or to rent? and I'm lounging on the couch with my cats when I don't feel like doing any of those things. I'm not sure where my RA will take me tomorrow, let alone in the next few years, so I'm living the way all those "wellness experts" (what are those, anyway?) say you should: in the moment and with no regrets.
For more information about the medical side of Rheumatoid Arthritis, click here.
For a fabulous blog about life with RA click here.
To learn more about a community of support for people with RA and their families, click here.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
More Reading Fiber
I've always loved to read. As a kid, I used to not only read voraciously, but I also used to play with my books, building forts so that I could literally protect myself from the outside world and my noisy hoard of siblings to read. As I've gotten older, this initial love has turned itself both into a comforting hobby and a profession. Now, in addition to reading confidently myself, I work every day to inspire the same love in my kiddos at school.
However, I will say that starting grad school (for a master's in reading instruction no less) has gotten me into some very, very bad reading habits. Namely, I've been reading a lot of crap. Very enjoyable, very vacation-y, crap. While I love these young adult-ish books, I also need to get my reading back on track. With less time to read for fun due to all my course reading, I was choosing to read "snack" type books- they fed the urge to read, but didn't really sustain my soul's need to read interesting, meaningful, and think-y books. So, it's time to find books that will balance my reading pyramid a bit.
In an attempt to balance my reading "diet", I'm joining two reading challenges for 2010: the Book Awards Reading Challenge (http://bookawardschallenge.blogspot.com/), in which I will have to read 10 books winning 10 different awards in 2010, and the 2010 Pub Challenge, in which I will need to read a minimum of 10 books first published in the U.S. in 2010. (http://1morechapter.com/pub/?p=57). While this blog is more of a chronicle of being a freshly married, veteran teacher who likes to read, run, and cause mayhem with her husband (also a contributer) than a book blog, I will be posting on my progress in these challenges with brief reviews and thoughts. Thanks to my friend Rebecca at The Book Lady's Blog (thebookladysblog.com) for the inspiration!
However, I will say that starting grad school (for a master's in reading instruction no less) has gotten me into some very, very bad reading habits. Namely, I've been reading a lot of crap. Very enjoyable, very vacation-y, crap. While I love these young adult-ish books, I also need to get my reading back on track. With less time to read for fun due to all my course reading, I was choosing to read "snack" type books- they fed the urge to read, but didn't really sustain my soul's need to read interesting, meaningful, and think-y books. So, it's time to find books that will balance my reading pyramid a bit.
In an attempt to balance my reading "diet", I'm joining two reading challenges for 2010: the Book Awards Reading Challenge (http://bookawardschallenge.blogspot.com/), in which I will have to read 10 books winning 10 different awards in 2010, and the 2010 Pub Challenge, in which I will need to read a minimum of 10 books first published in the U.S. in 2010. (http://1morechapter.com/pub/?p=57). While this blog is more of a chronicle of being a freshly married, veteran teacher who likes to read, run, and cause mayhem with her husband (also a contributer) than a book blog, I will be posting on my progress in these challenges with brief reviews and thoughts. Thanks to my friend Rebecca at The Book Lady's Blog (thebookladysblog.com) for the inspiration!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Stereotypical New Year's Post
Last night we rang in 2010 with Wii bowling, shocking amounts of champagne, and high-volume storytelling with our friends. We also debated whether we are going to say "two thousand and ten" or "twenty ten" when referring to this year. Let me know which camp you fall into- our group was pretty much split.
As most are doing today, I've been thinking lately about the transition between 2009 and 2010. Last year, I failed miserably in a Twister tournament, found an amazing St. Patrick's Day (Polish Pride) t-shirt, dressed up like a hot dog and passed out condoms, got married, began my adventures in teaching kindergarten, threw some fantastic dinner parties, went skiing, and ended the year with some doctor craziness (more on that later). What I cannot remember for the life of me in all of these moments big and small are my New Year's Resolutions for 2009. So, with the help of my trusty blog, I've decided to set three small goals a month during 2010. I tried this strategy with eating before the wedding, and it worked for me. I'm a procrastinator, and an inattentive person to details, so I figure announcing my goals each month here, and jotting some notes about them might help me keep myself more accountable to.....myself.
So, without much further ado, my 2009 goals:
1) Work out 4 times a week. 3 of these times must be in the gym, one may be 30 minutes of Wii Fit at home.
2) Eat a fruit or vegetable at every meal.
3) Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the apartment.
I'll report back February 1 to let you know how this went. In the meantime, it's time to sprawl on the couch with my current read (Blonde, by Joyce Carol Oates) and listen to Kev save me from the bad guys by playing hours of Modern Warfare.
As most are doing today, I've been thinking lately about the transition between 2009 and 2010. Last year, I failed miserably in a Twister tournament, found an amazing St. Patrick's Day (Polish Pride) t-shirt, dressed up like a hot dog and passed out condoms, got married, began my adventures in teaching kindergarten, threw some fantastic dinner parties, went skiing, and ended the year with some doctor craziness (more on that later). What I cannot remember for the life of me in all of these moments big and small are my New Year's Resolutions for 2009. So, with the help of my trusty blog, I've decided to set three small goals a month during 2010. I tried this strategy with eating before the wedding, and it worked for me. I'm a procrastinator, and an inattentive person to details, so I figure announcing my goals each month here, and jotting some notes about them might help me keep myself more accountable to.....myself.
So, without much further ado, my 2009 goals:
1) Work out 4 times a week. 3 of these times must be in the gym, one may be 30 minutes of Wii Fit at home.
2) Eat a fruit or vegetable at every meal.
3) Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the apartment.
I'll report back February 1 to let you know how this went. In the meantime, it's time to sprawl on the couch with my current read (Blonde, by Joyce Carol Oates) and listen to Kev save me from the bad guys by playing hours of Modern Warfare.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Rock You Like a Hurricane
Tonight is one of my favorite celebrations of the holiday season- Kevin's company holiday party. This is now my third year attending, once as his girlfriend, once as his fiancee and this year as his wife. We get to have a well known Chicago museum closed just for us, with dinner, cocktails and dancing in swanky evening attire. It feels like a totally glamorous wedding where you don't have to buy a gift.
....Until this year....
This year, Kevin and his social committee have decided that they would like to do something different for this party, and thus, an 80s theme was born, complete with an option to wear 80s formalwear to the event. So, in the spirit of all things hilarious, and ready to make an idiot of myself, I have borrowed an '83 peach, lacy, ruffly prom dress with bows and a wider girth than my wedding dress was. Now, if you've been paying attention to this blog at all, you know this is not quite "me". I tend to be more of a hoodie and converse kind of gal. i just hope I can properly rock out to Dirty Diana and Like a Prayer in all that taffeta.
My dashing husband will be rocking a mullet wig. We're either going to make him employee of the month or the village idiot. I just hope we end up looking something like that couple....
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Cheap and Glorious
No, this isn't a post about sex. Just making sure you aren't disappointed later.
What this is a post about is far more mundane, but also fabulous in its own way. While thinking about the direction I want to go with this blog, I've been looking at a lot of other marriage blogs, and I have to say, a lot of them are boring. Once, I even found myself reading about (I kid you not) do it yourself guest baskets for your guest bathroom full of tiny guest samples of lotions. I've also found many, many posts about babies, cooking, house re-doing. What I haven't found a lot of are blogs about what it's really like to really, honestly go through the process of keeping the girlfriend hotness while becoming the wife. Even though I just got married, I didn't morph into Martha Steward when I said "I do" and I don't plan on it. However, I've broken down and made a cheesy list about something I'm interested in hearing about from other people. I promise, no potpourri needed.
Back when Kev and I first started dating, we spent (and still do) a LOT of time and money out with our friends at the bars. Being in the vast minority of people in our circle of friends who were dating, we were often forced to be wingman a lot for some sad cases. (Example: Waitress comes to table, friend says "What do you have on special, besides, of course, you?" ....dead silence)
However, with a condo to save up for and grad school nerdery pressing in on us, we've lately been forced to cut down on our spending for fun things, which has forced us (in a good way) to start getting more creative about our date nights, and I know many co-workers who are struggling with the same thing. Below, find a list:
Cheap and Glorious Dates
1) Sweatpants, bottles of cheap champagne, and videogames. (Note: this is best not attempted while playing Mario Kart for the Wii.)
2) Cooking something complicated with many steps and spices
3) (stolen from my friend Erica) Tournament of board games (winter) Tournament of sports (summer) in a best of 5 best of 5 format (e.g. best of 5 at each event gets to claim winner to the event, must win 5 overall to be champion: twister, yahtzee, trouble, catchphrase, and twilight the boardgame)
4) Drinking Jeopardy (partner beats you to the answer? wrong answer? drink)
5) Playing with puppies. Anywhere.
6) Sitting on the stoop, making up stories about the people that walk by.
What else goes on this list? It's winter....
What this is a post about is far more mundane, but also fabulous in its own way. While thinking about the direction I want to go with this blog, I've been looking at a lot of other marriage blogs, and I have to say, a lot of them are boring. Once, I even found myself reading about (I kid you not) do it yourself guest baskets for your guest bathroom full of tiny guest samples of lotions. I've also found many, many posts about babies, cooking, house re-doing. What I haven't found a lot of are blogs about what it's really like to really, honestly go through the process of keeping the girlfriend hotness while becoming the wife. Even though I just got married, I didn't morph into Martha Steward when I said "I do" and I don't plan on it. However, I've broken down and made a cheesy list about something I'm interested in hearing about from other people. I promise, no potpourri needed.
Back when Kev and I first started dating, we spent (and still do) a LOT of time and money out with our friends at the bars. Being in the vast minority of people in our circle of friends who were dating, we were often forced to be wingman a lot for some sad cases. (Example: Waitress comes to table, friend says "What do you have on special, besides, of course, you?" ....dead silence)
However, with a condo to save up for and grad school nerdery pressing in on us, we've lately been forced to cut down on our spending for fun things, which has forced us (in a good way) to start getting more creative about our date nights, and I know many co-workers who are struggling with the same thing. Below, find a list:
Cheap and Glorious Dates
1) Sweatpants, bottles of cheap champagne, and videogames. (Note: this is best not attempted while playing Mario Kart for the Wii.)
2) Cooking something complicated with many steps and spices
3) (stolen from my friend Erica) Tournament of board games (winter) Tournament of sports (summer) in a best of 5 best of 5 format (e.g. best of 5 at each event gets to claim winner to the event, must win 5 overall to be champion: twister, yahtzee, trouble, catchphrase, and twilight the boardgame)
4) Drinking Jeopardy (partner beats you to the answer? wrong answer? drink)
5) Playing with puppies. Anywhere.
6) Sitting on the stoop, making up stories about the people that walk by.
What else goes on this list? It's winter....
Friday, October 30, 2009
Big Kid
Today is the "observed" Halloween holiday at my school, and my kids have been screamingly excited about it for weeks. By screamingly, I mean they literally get up and dance when we do calendar every morning, as our pumpkins get closer to the big candy corn I put over the end of the month. My students in my afternoon literacy groups are just as excited. So, naturally, we celebrated today with a good old fashioned corny grade school party. We did the mummy wrap, we ate cupcakes and cookies at 10:30 in the morning, we had a parade wearing our Halloween costumes (I was a birthday party), and we watched the first ten minutes of Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin. To top it all off, we played freeze dance with a mix CD that our music teacher let me swipe. While many of the classic Halloween songs were on there, I was out of my seat faster than you can say "who you gonna call?" when the Ghostbusters theme came on. Watching my stellar dance moves, one of my kindergarteners looked at me studiously and pronounced that I was "really just a big kid."
I've been feeling this way a lot lately, particularly in relation to being married. While I do a lot of grown up things like go to grad school, chase down goals in my career, and babysit friends' kids, I don't really feel any older or fuller of knowledge now that I'm a wife. When Kev and I would attend friends' weddings, I always thought that those couples looked a little more serious, a little more bonded, and a little more responsible than I. However, I've come to realize that marriage is the best kept secret ever- if people knew that it feels like having a sleepover with your best friend EVERY SINGLE DAY they would be rushing down the aisles.
A friend of mine brought her 6 month baby to work today, a baby whom I adore and babysit quite often. The baby even looks like me, and many of the kids and newer coworkers at school asked me if she was mine. While my heart was tugged by this tiny creature in a plush butterfly costume, I know I'm not ready for kids yet because I'm busy having too much fun. I love feeling like I have a partner in crime, and I don't think it's immature to admit that I love kicking Kev's behind in Jeopardy for hours on end, eating mac n' cheese when we feel like it, and drinking champagne just because we can. When I was younger, I was jealous of the big kids because they got to stay out trick-or-treating until 10 o'clock, when all the scandalous things happen. Now I do that every night and it's just plain awesome. Turning into a big kid was definitely worth the wait.
I've been feeling this way a lot lately, particularly in relation to being married. While I do a lot of grown up things like go to grad school, chase down goals in my career, and babysit friends' kids, I don't really feel any older or fuller of knowledge now that I'm a wife. When Kev and I would attend friends' weddings, I always thought that those couples looked a little more serious, a little more bonded, and a little more responsible than I. However, I've come to realize that marriage is the best kept secret ever- if people knew that it feels like having a sleepover with your best friend EVERY SINGLE DAY they would be rushing down the aisles.
A friend of mine brought her 6 month baby to work today, a baby whom I adore and babysit quite often. The baby even looks like me, and many of the kids and newer coworkers at school asked me if she was mine. While my heart was tugged by this tiny creature in a plush butterfly costume, I know I'm not ready for kids yet because I'm busy having too much fun. I love feeling like I have a partner in crime, and I don't think it's immature to admit that I love kicking Kev's behind in Jeopardy for hours on end, eating mac n' cheese when we feel like it, and drinking champagne just because we can. When I was younger, I was jealous of the big kids because they got to stay out trick-or-treating until 10 o'clock, when all the scandalous things happen. Now I do that every night and it's just plain awesome. Turning into a big kid was definitely worth the wait.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Being Needy
I'm very spoiled in the fact that Kev almost never has to travel for work. A few times a year he has to go to conferences or sales ride alongs, but it's usually pretty rare and pretty far between. However, this month Kev has been gone a lot- two business trips, and now this weekend he is going to visit his siblings at college, and sadly, I can't take the time off of work to go with. Last night, Kev told me "I know you'll miss me, but I also know you're fine without me." To tell you the truth, he was right. Rather than stay bummed about not going to Minnesota, I decided to crash some good friends' moms' weekend and head on out to Iowa to do something I've always wanted to do: squish wine grapes with my feet. I am so pumped about this (even though I have to bring thank you notes and grad school homework in the car) and the fact that I have Monday off of school (thank you Jewish holidays) that rather than missing Kevin tonight, I'll be plotting the perfect vineyard outfit and figuring out how to pack the tiniest bag possible. Pictures will be forthcoming.
I have friends on all different aspects of the traveling-apart spectrum in a relationship. I know some that have never spent a night apart, and others who routinely take long vacations with others, or travel often for work. I like to think that Kevin and I are in the middle. I want him with me for all the best days of my life, and when I'm happiest is when I miss him the most. However, I also know that cracking a bottle of wine and filling each other in on time apart can be just as good for the marriage as therapy. Hopefully, this time it will be wine that I personally contributed to.
On a side note- does one get a pedicure pre grape stomping? Does one go in without toe polish? Obviously I will be doing some feet prep before exposing them to the grapes, but should I wear flip flops in order to take the shoes off easily? Closed toe to keep my feet clean? Who knew channeling my inner Lucille Ball could be so difficult? Pictures to come...
I have friends on all different aspects of the traveling-apart spectrum in a relationship. I know some that have never spent a night apart, and others who routinely take long vacations with others, or travel often for work. I like to think that Kevin and I are in the middle. I want him with me for all the best days of my life, and when I'm happiest is when I miss him the most. However, I also know that cracking a bottle of wine and filling each other in on time apart can be just as good for the marriage as therapy. Hopefully, this time it will be wine that I personally contributed to.
On a side note- does one get a pedicure pre grape stomping? Does one go in without toe polish? Obviously I will be doing some feet prep before exposing them to the grapes, but should I wear flip flops in order to take the shoes off easily? Closed toe to keep my feet clean? Who knew channeling my inner Lucille Ball could be so difficult? Pictures to come...
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Gettin' it Together
Kev and I have spent the last few weeks getting organized. We had some scary talks about budgets, buying a place someday, and grad school plans. I even applied, and got accepted, to start my master's. I've been feeling very grown-uppy and it's not all bad.
One thing I have been terrible, horrible, no good very bad about is working out. Somehow, once the wedding was over, the gym lost all of its appeal. So did running. So did everything fitness related. Kev and I have been making some great dinners (well, mostly Kev, I'll be honest he's a fabulous cook) and I just haven't had the urge to work out. When I was discussing this with my married coworkers, they were like "well of course not, you were nesting" Is this common? Once you get married does it make it harder to be motivated to work out? All I know is, I ran two miles last week and it about killed me-and last summer I was training for half marathons! I start class next week, and with it, I'm going to find a way to start a new fitness regime. I REALLY need to get more disciplined with this one. I can tell you right now it won't be fun either...well maybe a little fun
One thing I have been terrible, horrible, no good very bad about is working out. Somehow, once the wedding was over, the gym lost all of its appeal. So did running. So did everything fitness related. Kev and I have been making some great dinners (well, mostly Kev, I'll be honest he's a fabulous cook) and I just haven't had the urge to work out. When I was discussing this with my married coworkers, they were like "well of course not, you were nesting" Is this common? Once you get married does it make it harder to be motivated to work out? All I know is, I ran two miles last week and it about killed me-and last summer I was training for half marathons! I start class next week, and with it, I'm going to find a way to start a new fitness regime. I REALLY need to get more disciplined with this one. I can tell you right now it won't be fun either...well maybe a little fun
Friday, September 4, 2009
I'm Not Hiding
Today I was accused by a good friend of being mad at her, which I'm definitely not. The truth is, I haven't been avoiding anybody, I've just been really, really busy. You see, I'm a teacher, and for the first time ever I am teaching kindergarten, which has yielded some gems of conversation including the following:
"Mrs. G. what color is bald? My mommy has brown hair, I have brown hair, Zach has black hair and my daddy has bald hair." ~asked while coloring family portraits
"I can't wait to go out and play on the drunkie bars" ~he meant monkey bars
"V? what?" ~spoken by TWO students who had never heard of that letter before.
My kiddos are ridiculously cute, and while we're having a good time, it makes me so relieved that we don't have kids ourselves-mostly because I recuperate each night by falling asleep at nine o'clock at night. Poor Kevin. My sleeping habits are like those of a ninety year old woman these days. I'm hoping to use this weekend more as a recovery zone.
Side note, while juggling my new position, figuring out if I'm starting grad school (damn transcript mixup) and trying to stay awake for Top Chef, I recently found out from my mother that I'm in the doghouse. Apparently, my grandmother and her sister find it appalling that I still haven't sent thank you notes for the wedding (it was two months ago TODAY and I have 200 to write) and a birthday card that I received LAST WEEK. Apparently I'm using my three day weekend to write the notes and rescue my poor mom from the guilt trips she's getting from HER mother. Sigh....
"Mrs. G. what color is bald? My mommy has brown hair, I have brown hair, Zach has black hair and my daddy has bald hair." ~asked while coloring family portraits
"I can't wait to go out and play on the drunkie bars" ~he meant monkey bars
"V? what?" ~spoken by TWO students who had never heard of that letter before.
My kiddos are ridiculously cute, and while we're having a good time, it makes me so relieved that we don't have kids ourselves-mostly because I recuperate each night by falling asleep at nine o'clock at night. Poor Kevin. My sleeping habits are like those of a ninety year old woman these days. I'm hoping to use this weekend more as a recovery zone.
Side note, while juggling my new position, figuring out if I'm starting grad school (damn transcript mixup) and trying to stay awake for Top Chef, I recently found out from my mother that I'm in the doghouse. Apparently, my grandmother and her sister find it appalling that I still haven't sent thank you notes for the wedding (it was two months ago TODAY and I have 200 to write) and a birthday card that I received LAST WEEK. Apparently I'm using my three day weekend to write the notes and rescue my poor mom from the guilt trips she's getting from HER mother. Sigh....
Monday, August 10, 2009
So, you're, like, married?
Well, we’ve been married for 37 days now, and we’re still going strong. While this number isn’t impressive compared to the dozens of wonderful and happily married couples I know, it feels really good to be married.
Whenever I talk to my friends now, however, a new refrain has become increasingly common. “Well,” they’ll say when discussing plans, “I know Kevin wants to do _____ but let me know if he’s allowed to.” Or, from one of my girls, “You wouldn’t understand why I want a relationship so badly, you’re married. It’s always been easy for you.”
Quite frankly, I’m a little mystified by all this. Yes, Kevin and I are married, which means we have made a pledge to walk through life together, and to put each other first. I’m in the process of getting a new last name, our finances are now together, and if Kevin gets hit by a bus tomorrow, I’m now the one who makes the big decisions should they be necessary. However, we’re still US. We spend more time at a dive bar near our home than strictly necessary, we still irritate each other in the same ways, we still spend an absurd amount of time during the day sending over the top emails to our friends, and we still have champagne, sweatpants, and videogame date nights.
I love being married- the small rituals that make up our day to day lives, experimenting with cooking, hanging out with all of the fantastic people in our lives. I don’t love the assumption that now that I’m married I’m fundamentally different- less willing to spend time away from Kevin, less understanding of my friends’ struggles and successes in the dating world. I’m awkward, blunt, clumsy, sometimes immature, absurdly social, and perpetually late for everything, just as I always was, and none of that is likely to change any time soon. Luckily, I have found and married a partner in crime that is more than happy to deal with it. And for all of the rest of my friends and family- I love you, I will be here for you, I will not hide Kevin from you, and we’re happy.
Whenever I talk to my friends now, however, a new refrain has become increasingly common. “Well,” they’ll say when discussing plans, “I know Kevin wants to do _____ but let me know if he’s allowed to.” Or, from one of my girls, “You wouldn’t understand why I want a relationship so badly, you’re married. It’s always been easy for you.”
Quite frankly, I’m a little mystified by all this. Yes, Kevin and I are married, which means we have made a pledge to walk through life together, and to put each other first. I’m in the process of getting a new last name, our finances are now together, and if Kevin gets hit by a bus tomorrow, I’m now the one who makes the big decisions should they be necessary. However, we’re still US. We spend more time at a dive bar near our home than strictly necessary, we still irritate each other in the same ways, we still spend an absurd amount of time during the day sending over the top emails to our friends, and we still have champagne, sweatpants, and videogame date nights.
I love being married- the small rituals that make up our day to day lives, experimenting with cooking, hanging out with all of the fantastic people in our lives. I don’t love the assumption that now that I’m married I’m fundamentally different- less willing to spend time away from Kevin, less understanding of my friends’ struggles and successes in the dating world. I’m awkward, blunt, clumsy, sometimes immature, absurdly social, and perpetually late for everything, just as I always was, and none of that is likely to change any time soon. Luckily, I have found and married a partner in crime that is more than happy to deal with it. And for all of the rest of my friends and family- I love you, I will be here for you, I will not hide Kevin from you, and we’re happy.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Housewifery, thwarted
Since returning from Puerto Rico, with all the wedding madness subsiding, I've found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands, and have decided to try some cooking projects this week, as it makes me feel more sane than watching my cats chase flies and nap all day. Here's a quick gchat conversation with Kev prior to me running some errands:
Colie: I'm going to the grocery store to get you cookie ingredients- anything you want me to pick up?
Kev: Kosher Salt
Colie: Got it
Kev: Oh, and some Butfers
Colie: I think they are out of those at Jewel, but you can check and see if they are in stock at the JERKSTORE
Kev: OH SNAP!
Now, what Kev wanted me to say was "Hmm, dearest, what is a Butfer?" to which he would enthusiasticly reply "POOPING hee hee hee" with that high pitched Grandma laugh he gets when he thinks he's being hilarious.
Really, forever???
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go bake some cookies- the real, mix up dough kind, not the mommy-hates-me-and-buys-it-premixed variety. Happy Friday!
Colie: I'm going to the grocery store to get you cookie ingredients- anything you want me to pick up?
Kev: Kosher Salt
Colie: Got it
Kev: Oh, and some Butfers
Colie: I think they are out of those at Jewel, but you can check and see if they are in stock at the JERKSTORE
Kev: OH SNAP!
Now, what Kev wanted me to say was "Hmm, dearest, what is a Butfer?" to which he would enthusiasticly reply "POOPING hee hee hee" with that high pitched Grandma laugh he gets when he thinks he's being hilarious.
Really, forever???
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go bake some cookies- the real, mix up dough kind, not the mommy-hates-me-and-buys-it-premixed variety. Happy Friday!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Photo Extravaganza!
I promise to give more of a scoop about wedding weekend, honeymoon and the like, but since I have to go to 6 pack attack class at the gym to get my rear in gear following a fried food and rum filled 12 days in Puerto Rico, please enjoy a brief sampling of photos instead.
On the left, you can enjoy one of my favorite wedding gifts, courtesy of the Holland sisters. Yes, those are really attractive photos of Kev and I. Yes, we wore them in Puerto Rico.
On the top right, you can see that my new mother-in-law (yes I have one now!) rented us a party trolley. We packed it full of people and champagne, and it was awesome. We even convinced him to do a few extra laps before we all had to go in for the receiving line-much needed.
During the course of getting ready, and choosing my accessories, my mom insisted that I MUST wear heels, as it would give me good posture and "complete the look." The heels lasted until just before the first dance...here's me kicking them off for some outdoor photos before the reception started.
Last but not least, once of my favorites, courtesy of our fabulous photographer, Harold Crane. We look so much more glamorous than we really are. Was all the wedding planning madness worth it? Absolutely.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Holy Crap...We're Married!!!!!
Wow...
After a few really, really, really, really crazy weeks we are Married.
We are leaving tomorrow morning for Puerto Rico for 12 days, and I could not be more excited. We'll try to write about everything the past few weeks in those 12 days while we're doing nothing but having fun.
We're there for 12 days and have about 5 days worth of stuff to do, so we're really excited to walk around and experience the Puerto Rican world, it helps that Colie is fluent in Spanish (which also means I hope she doesn't ditch me).
I have never looked forward to ANYTHING the way I am looking forward to this trip.
After a few really, really, really, really crazy weeks we are Married.
We are leaving tomorrow morning for Puerto Rico for 12 days, and I could not be more excited. We'll try to write about everything the past few weeks in those 12 days while we're doing nothing but having fun.
We're there for 12 days and have about 5 days worth of stuff to do, so we're really excited to walk around and experience the Puerto Rican world, it helps that Colie is fluent in Spanish (which also means I hope she doesn't ditch me).
I have never looked forward to ANYTHING the way I am looking forward to this trip.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Cats and Dogs
With any wedding in the works, an important weekend arrives. A weekend where the strength of bonds are tested, friends and family gather round, and events are planned to truly celebrate the happy couple. The bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Now, while I’m not a huge fan of penis-wear and lewd comments, I do love a good bachelorette party, and mine last weekend was no exception. We had a wedding movie, wine and nail painting night in, a boat cruise with cheesy dance music, bar golf, showers of wildly inappropriate things that my mother (yes, you read that right) watched me open, and a recovery picnic at the lake. I’ll forever be grateful to my bridesmaids, who started planning back in March or April, and had an entire weekend jam packed with fun things. They cooked, opened their apartments to lots of drunk girls, and made sure all I had to do was sit back and have fun. Apparently, they sent out surveys, emails and had planning sessions. They were fabulous, and it made me even more grateful than I already was to have them in my lives.
While I may have had the jazziest, danciest, and all around plaidest weekend of mayhem on record, I can’t help but notice how different my party planning process was from the boys. Kevin announced he wanted to go to his family’s house on Lake Geneva the same weekend I was having my events, and a week before the party was to start, one of the groomsmen sent out an email telling people to let him know what kind of booze they were bringing to the lake “to avoid duplicates.” The boys showed up, cruised on the boat, played wiffleball drank cases of beer and ate cases of meat. Kevin also had an amazing weekend, and they guys were equally enthusiastic but it makes me laugh to think of the difference between boys and girls when it comes to event planning. Girls seem to need a big series of events to make it a celebration, while the boys are content to just chill with an extremely large quantity of beverage. At least now I know all I need to make a perfect night for Kevin is a cube of Busch Light and an outdoor spot to drink it in. 15 days til the wedding!
Now, while I’m not a huge fan of penis-wear and lewd comments, I do love a good bachelorette party, and mine last weekend was no exception. We had a wedding movie, wine and nail painting night in, a boat cruise with cheesy dance music, bar golf, showers of wildly inappropriate things that my mother (yes, you read that right) watched me open, and a recovery picnic at the lake. I’ll forever be grateful to my bridesmaids, who started planning back in March or April, and had an entire weekend jam packed with fun things. They cooked, opened their apartments to lots of drunk girls, and made sure all I had to do was sit back and have fun. Apparently, they sent out surveys, emails and had planning sessions. They were fabulous, and it made me even more grateful than I already was to have them in my lives.
While I may have had the jazziest, danciest, and all around plaidest weekend of mayhem on record, I can’t help but notice how different my party planning process was from the boys. Kevin announced he wanted to go to his family’s house on Lake Geneva the same weekend I was having my events, and a week before the party was to start, one of the groomsmen sent out an email telling people to let him know what kind of booze they were bringing to the lake “to avoid duplicates.” The boys showed up, cruised on the boat, played wiffleball drank cases of beer and ate cases of meat. Kevin also had an amazing weekend, and they guys were equally enthusiastic but it makes me laugh to think of the difference between boys and girls when it comes to event planning. Girls seem to need a big series of events to make it a celebration, while the boys are content to just chill with an extremely large quantity of beverage. At least now I know all I need to make a perfect night for Kevin is a cube of Busch Light and an outdoor spot to drink it in. 15 days til the wedding!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Rings & License (1 out of 2 ain't terrible)
So last Saturday Colie and I head downtown to our (my) jeweler to pick out our wedding bands.
The door opens on the 4th floor of the Pittsfield Building, and we take a step out of the elevator and see a sign that says, "We'll be closed this weekend...blah, blah, blah." Son of a...
Side Story
On Friday Colie and I spent a good 20 minutes walking around the Lake County Courthouse looking for the ONE door that was open past 5:00 PM. Even the officers in the Jailhouse Visitors Area couldn't help us. Silly us, we've lived in the city for a year now, and expect the numbers of buildings to go in some sort of order. How is 8 N right across the street for 201 N?!?!
I was (naturally) starting to freak out because we couldn't find the Courthouse, and Colie said that she had called to double check that the website was correct, and Friday was the one night the Courthouse stayed open late. This was impressive because 1) this is something I would do and 2) this is NOT something Colie would do. So we did find it, and we're now one pen stroke away from being legally bound...holy crap!
SIDE STORY END
So back to Saturday and the ring. Here's the thing...I CALLED THE JEWELER SATURDAY MORNING AND GOT THE MESSAGE THAT THEY WERE OPEN!!! Now, she didn't say it, but I know she was thinking it, "I remembered to call and double-check, but did you? Nope. Moron." Karma was a cruel misstress this weekend.
I just got off the phone with the jeweler himself, and they're open on Saturday for us.
He better be...
The door opens on the 4th floor of the Pittsfield Building, and we take a step out of the elevator and see a sign that says, "We'll be closed this weekend...blah, blah, blah." Son of a...
Side Story
On Friday Colie and I spent a good 20 minutes walking around the Lake County Courthouse looking for the ONE door that was open past 5:00 PM. Even the officers in the Jailhouse Visitors Area couldn't help us. Silly us, we've lived in the city for a year now, and expect the numbers of buildings to go in some sort of order. How is 8 N right across the street for 201 N?!?!
I was (naturally) starting to freak out because we couldn't find the Courthouse, and Colie said that she had called to double check that the website was correct, and Friday was the one night the Courthouse stayed open late. This was impressive because 1) this is something I would do and 2) this is NOT something Colie would do. So we did find it, and we're now one pen stroke away from being legally bound...holy crap!
SIDE STORY END
So back to Saturday and the ring. Here's the thing...I CALLED THE JEWELER SATURDAY MORNING AND GOT THE MESSAGE THAT THEY WERE OPEN!!! Now, she didn't say it, but I know she was thinking it, "I remembered to call and double-check, but did you? Nope. Moron." Karma was a cruel misstress this weekend.
I just got off the phone with the jeweler himself, and they're open on Saturday for us.
He better be...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Things that Last
We’re 38 days away from the wedding and the last minute bills are starting to pile in, particularly ring buying and finishing the payment for the photographer. While I started to hyperventilate about the amount of money we are going to spend on those things this weekend, Kev patiently reminded me that we knew all along we wanted to upgrade these things, since after the day is over, these are the things that we’ll still have to remind us of the promises we’re making to each other.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my aunt, who is forty, exactly between my mom and I in age, and a generally fabulous person to talk to about everything. I was telling her about the cooking Kev and I do at home, and how our date nights have gradually shifted from big events out to making a ridiculously big meal with our cell phones and screens turned off. My aunt commented that she thinks it’s important we build traditions that center around being at home, since those are the things that will last throughout building a family (someday) and the various shifts in our lives. Now that she has her young children, she says that she and her husband are trying harder to make date nights things they can do at home, to make sure they continue.
Since that discussion, and while pondering the mere month between now and the very lasting commitment we are about to make, I’ve been thinking about the routines we used to have and the current rhythms that our lives have been taking. I can’t help but wonder if we are choosing home centered dates because we are appreciating the time we do have together more, or if we are so exhausted from the whirlwind that has become our shared life the last few months that we just need to flop. I think part of marrying somebody is being ready to say that you want that person to be a part of all your traditions, and that you want to build new patterns of being into your shared life. I’ve heard it said that many people get so focused on the wedding that they forget the marriage, and while I don’t see that being Kev and I, I do wonder how things will change after the wedding. As Kev discussed in the last post, we’ve gone from dating, to living together, to marriage, and while the core of what we are together has stayed the same, there have been changes along the way to the ways we choose to spend our time, or the things we find ourselves talking about. Through it all, I continue to be fascinated by him, and excited about our life.
Last night, one of our good friends asked us if he could still come over and hang out after we are still married. We’ve lived together now for almost a year, and honestly, while I know marriage is going to bind us together and hold us accountable to each other for the rest of our lives, it made me a little sad to think that our friends are worried about us changing post-wedding. I tend to think that marriage is going to increase the number of best parts about my life, and help us to keep our day to day lives in sharper focus-friends included. I’m hoping to keep all the things I love about my life the same, while having a fantastic partner in crime to experience it all with. Change is good, but I hope my life doesn’t become unrecognizable after the wedding, since I feel I already have great days most of the time. I hoe I come back to this post after we’ve been married for years and laugh at the worries I’m writing. I guess I’ll just have to let you know when I get there, though.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my aunt, who is forty, exactly between my mom and I in age, and a generally fabulous person to talk to about everything. I was telling her about the cooking Kev and I do at home, and how our date nights have gradually shifted from big events out to making a ridiculously big meal with our cell phones and screens turned off. My aunt commented that she thinks it’s important we build traditions that center around being at home, since those are the things that will last throughout building a family (someday) and the various shifts in our lives. Now that she has her young children, she says that she and her husband are trying harder to make date nights things they can do at home, to make sure they continue.
Since that discussion, and while pondering the mere month between now and the very lasting commitment we are about to make, I’ve been thinking about the routines we used to have and the current rhythms that our lives have been taking. I can’t help but wonder if we are choosing home centered dates because we are appreciating the time we do have together more, or if we are so exhausted from the whirlwind that has become our shared life the last few months that we just need to flop. I think part of marrying somebody is being ready to say that you want that person to be a part of all your traditions, and that you want to build new patterns of being into your shared life. I’ve heard it said that many people get so focused on the wedding that they forget the marriage, and while I don’t see that being Kev and I, I do wonder how things will change after the wedding. As Kev discussed in the last post, we’ve gone from dating, to living together, to marriage, and while the core of what we are together has stayed the same, there have been changes along the way to the ways we choose to spend our time, or the things we find ourselves talking about. Through it all, I continue to be fascinated by him, and excited about our life.
Last night, one of our good friends asked us if he could still come over and hang out after we are still married. We’ve lived together now for almost a year, and honestly, while I know marriage is going to bind us together and hold us accountable to each other for the rest of our lives, it made me a little sad to think that our friends are worried about us changing post-wedding. I tend to think that marriage is going to increase the number of best parts about my life, and help us to keep our day to day lives in sharper focus-friends included. I’m hoping to keep all the things I love about my life the same, while having a fantastic partner in crime to experience it all with. Change is good, but I hope my life doesn’t become unrecognizable after the wedding, since I feel I already have great days most of the time. I hoe I come back to this post after we’ve been married for years and laugh at the worries I’m writing. I guess I’ll just have to let you know when I get there, though.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Marry Someone You Like
"Kevin, marry someone you like."
That's the advice I got from a very funny coworker today. The funny thing is, the more I thought about it, the more it really made a lot of sense.
I don't understand how people can marry someone after just a few weeks or months of knowing that person. I know that it does happen for some, and it just works for them - but it blows my mind. Those first few months of dating someone are so different than those next few months and years. The first few months are just constantly exciting, learning things about the other person, experiencing old and common things together for the first time.
Everyone's experienced that, and everyone's seen how time and comfort makes those things change. How that change happens, and how the two people respond, is what will shape that relationship. People will either grow tired or bored of the person, or they'll constantly find new things about the person that draws them in closer.
Colie and I have experienced them both over the course of knowing one another. After "semi-dating" in High School, to being friends in High School, to only talking occasionally in college, to dating, to living together, to being engaged. That's a lot of LIFE covered there!
That's why I really get the "marry someone you like" idea. We've been through everything together, and I'm still amazed at just how much fun we have together. All the quirks we each have, and how there are some that the other person just has gotten used to, such as:
We're off to the Hawks' game tonight, and desperately need to hear a lot of this:
Also...Detroit Sucks.
That's the advice I got from a very funny coworker today. The funny thing is, the more I thought about it, the more it really made a lot of sense.
I don't understand how people can marry someone after just a few weeks or months of knowing that person. I know that it does happen for some, and it just works for them - but it blows my mind. Those first few months of dating someone are so different than those next few months and years. The first few months are just constantly exciting, learning things about the other person, experiencing old and common things together for the first time.
Everyone's experienced that, and everyone's seen how time and comfort makes those things change. How that change happens, and how the two people respond, is what will shape that relationship. People will either grow tired or bored of the person, or they'll constantly find new things about the person that draws them in closer.
Colie and I have experienced them both over the course of knowing one another. After "semi-dating" in High School, to being friends in High School, to only talking occasionally in college, to dating, to living together, to being engaged. That's a lot of LIFE covered there!
That's why I really get the "marry someone you like" idea. We've been through everything together, and I'm still amazed at just how much fun we have together. All the quirks we each have, and how there are some that the other person just has gotten used to, such as:
- I say, "Can you close the light?" when I'm asking someone to turn the light off. I got it from my dad, and yes I know it makes no sense. Colie used to literally stop and just stare at me, but now she'll just crack a smile while thinking, "there is NO way our kids will pick this up from him."
- If we're watching someone on TV past 9 PM, Colie will fall asleep. Not a deep sleep, but that fading-in-and-out sleep that means she'll wake up at the slightest noise or touch. She can fall asleep during a Blackhawks' Playoff game...while we're currently talking! My grandpa's the only other person I know that can pull that off!
We're off to the Hawks' game tonight, and desperately need to hear a lot of this:
Also...Detroit Sucks.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Internet-less-ness...Week 2
So we've been without internet in the Apartment now for 2 weeks. Comcast has what's known in the business world as TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE.
Hopefully it will be back on tonight, so Colie and I can start blogging much more frequently.
Also, with less than 7 weeks until the wedding, all I can say is....PLEASE GET HERE!!!
Hopefully it will be back on tonight, so Colie and I can start blogging much more frequently.
Also, with less than 7 weeks until the wedding, all I can say is....PLEASE GET HERE!!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
My Other Loves
The past few days, I’ve been rather stressed out. Others can tell because my shoulders are so hunched that they appear to the casual observer to be earrings, rather than body parts. During times like these, I feel it helps to remember the things I adore in life, besides the obvious. I’m dedicating this post to some of the things that keep me sane in life.
Hockey- The Blackhawks and their young, quick team are in the Western Conference finals, ready to take on the Detroit Redwings. Although the game schedule poses a serious conflict with my wedding shower on Sunday, I intend to invest a LOT of time watching this series. The speed, the hits, the goals, the fast pace- I love hockey. On a less grandiose scale, the Friar Puck floor hockey team is quickly moving into championship position, and I have the bruises to show for it.
Reading-I am quickly accumulating an amazing stack of to be read books, and am always on the lookout for more. Kevin and I are planning a day specifically devoted to shopping for honeymoon books, and when summer comes, I plan to spend some major time next to the lake, completely absorbed.
UPS Package Tracker-I think this is one of the most amazing inventions ever. I bought a book for book club online, and within a day, I had a tracking number. A few weeks ago, I tracked my running shoes as they came from California to Chicago, with stops in between. Every time I buy something online, I obsessively track its progress to my stoop. Way to go, UPS.
Running- I love running, which is funny because I’m really not into participating in most athletics (except for floor hockey, above). I’m currently training for the Rock N Roll Half Marathon, obsessed with running blogs (yay, Maria), and praying that the weather starts cooperating so I can get more running in. Next weekend, I’m running the Soldier Field 10 mile, and I’m a bit nervous because all of the wedding/work madness is really keeping me from logging as many miles as I had hoped. Which brings me to my last love of the day…
Countdowns- I have 18 school days left until summer break. Summer will mean running, reading, and more time for all of the things I adore, and less wedding stress. The wedding is in 50 days and I can’t imagine how fast this last little bit of time will fly.
Hockey- The Blackhawks and their young, quick team are in the Western Conference finals, ready to take on the Detroit Redwings. Although the game schedule poses a serious conflict with my wedding shower on Sunday, I intend to invest a LOT of time watching this series. The speed, the hits, the goals, the fast pace- I love hockey. On a less grandiose scale, the Friar Puck floor hockey team is quickly moving into championship position, and I have the bruises to show for it.
Reading-I am quickly accumulating an amazing stack of to be read books, and am always on the lookout for more. Kevin and I are planning a day specifically devoted to shopping for honeymoon books, and when summer comes, I plan to spend some major time next to the lake, completely absorbed.
UPS Package Tracker-I think this is one of the most amazing inventions ever. I bought a book for book club online, and within a day, I had a tracking number. A few weeks ago, I tracked my running shoes as they came from California to Chicago, with stops in between. Every time I buy something online, I obsessively track its progress to my stoop. Way to go, UPS.
Running- I love running, which is funny because I’m really not into participating in most athletics (except for floor hockey, above). I’m currently training for the Rock N Roll Half Marathon, obsessed with running blogs (yay, Maria), and praying that the weather starts cooperating so I can get more running in. Next weekend, I’m running the Soldier Field 10 mile, and I’m a bit nervous because all of the wedding/work madness is really keeping me from logging as many miles as I had hoped. Which brings me to my last love of the day…
Countdowns- I have 18 school days left until summer break. Summer will mean running, reading, and more time for all of the things I adore, and less wedding stress. The wedding is in 50 days and I can’t imagine how fast this last little bit of time will fly.
Friday, May 1, 2009
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